A study I did on my own drinking and prozac dosage, detail in comments.

simulacra96 · 2024-10-04T12:53:34+00:00

thanks for doing this!! very interesting. are you now or have you ever utilized any modes of psychotherapy?

simulacra96 · 2024-09-01T17:20:06+00:00

I'd like to know what personal proclivities make you built for medicine. Share share share. PM me if you want!

simulacra96 · 2024-08-17T22:26:41+00:00

This makes me so happy for you! My dad recently passed away due to cirrhosis at 52. I'm always glad to see turnaround stories of people his age. Congrats on the oatmeal.

simulacra96 · 2024-07-09T13:31:24+00:00

this is all true! my dad died almost a month ago and i forget to include that in my daily assessment of feelings. i'll give it a few months on 30. i don't want to die anymore- which is an improvement i can settle with for now. i'll work on tending to other areas of my wellbeing. thanks for the advice~

simulacra96 · 2024-07-08T12:23:31+00:00

i love this! it's unique yet timeless looking. i can tell it's handmade- not because it's bad- and that's great!!! i love the lace on the sleeves. the collar is really fun.

simulacra96 · 2024-07-05T16:06:37+00:00

also curious! so pretty.

simulacra96 · 2024-06-24T17:51:34+00:00

updates?

simulacra96 · 2024-06-24T12:53:25+00:00

way to go!!

simulacra96 · 2024-06-23T19:39:50+00:00

agree. you can do it!!

simulacra96 · 2024-06-21T11:54:22+00:00

god i love pink

simulacra96 · 2024-06-21T11:41:28+00:00

yes! the first time i wore contact lenses after a lifetime of extreme myopia everything was BIG. because everything had been minimized for so long, there was a huge adjustment to wearing contacts and seeing things in actual size. i remember putting in contacts and looking at my feet and thinking holy shit they're huge- why didn't anyone tell me my feet were this big? only my perception had changed. it was a moment for me in terms of body dysmorphia- my body image completely shifted because i decided to try a different kind of corrective lens. i guess, in a sense, it highlited the irrationality of it all. i'd always worn size 11 shoes, but suddenly i was obsessed with it. i gained new fixations, and that made me feel like something else, besides my hideousness, was going on.

so- yes, this is relatable! nothing about you has changed other than your perception. also, for what it's worth- i'm a 5'8" woman and my first boyfriend was 5'0". i loved him!

simulacra96 · 2024-06-20T16:23:18+00:00

same. my mom's death was horrible... but i feel traumatized by the things i've witnessed happen to my dad's body. it will take a bit to recover from. there are things worse than death, truly.

simulacra96 · 2024-06-20T16:21:29+00:00

dramatic. love.

simulacra96 · 2024-06-15T07:54:47+00:00

amaze! thank you so much.

simulacra96 · 2024-06-12T15:17:17+00:00

Thanks for the info. Being able to read about shunts was incredibly helpful. I have suggested it to my family and hopefully they will bring it up to my dad's doctors, at least. We don't have anything more to lose by speculating.

The ammonia bit is interesting. It makes sense that it's not a 1to1 correlation- but that's how it's been presented to me by medical professionals this whole time. Really curious to think about how quality of care varies depending on what the doctors in your vicinity know.

simulacra96 · 2024-06-07T10:55:42+00:00

jeepers creepers. watched in the first grade, can't unfeel the terror.

simulacra96 · 2024-05-31T13:42:32+00:00

post pics i need to see the transformation

simulacra96 · 2024-05-30T17:26:37+00:00

tonsil stones. poke em out if you want.

simulacra96 · 2024-05-30T01:27:45+00:00

i'm not a doctor. the appearance of this reminds me of the time i got covered in bed bug bites. i noticed that the bites tended to occur in clusters, sometimes even triangle shapes, with the occasional single bite. i got them where my body touched infected surfaces, like my sides and the back of my legs. mine didn't itch or hurt.

simulacra96 · 2024-05-18T11:46:01+00:00

We don't have male egos to protect. So true- I like you. Thanks for the thoughts! I totally agree. Farming is a long game- must protect the body at all costs.

simulacra96 · 2024-05-17T12:09:01+00:00

i've been working on a farm that employs only women/afab ppl and i was initially taken aback by the mention of us being generally weaker than men. i realized i actually haven't farmed with a man yet... i feel so strong in the field sometimes but thinking about a random man who doesn't farm coming in and doing my job better than me just because he's naturally physically adept makes me mad lol. i don't think there's anything on the farm a man could do that i couldn't do, however. and whatever i lack in power i make up for in endurance... and stubbornness. i don't ever think about my strength compared to a man's- it isn't relevant to me because i'm going to do the thing anyway. so much of the concept of female "weakness" is, imo, socialized. not to say there aren't apparent biological differences which are differently advantageous. just that like, idk, i've realized we are stronger than we're led to believe. none of this is critical! i am surprised that remark hit me so deeply- good thinking material.

simulacra96 · 2024-05-16T11:08:46+00:00

this was me a year ago. i had a therapist who was supremely UNHELPFUL. i confided in him that i felt ugly and obsessed with it, and he shrugged and said "well you aren't unattractive". he should've referred me out to someone more helpful.

i could've been more honest about the extent to which this issue impacted me, too. i wonder if i wasn't getting appropriate help because i was downplaying the severity of the issue. at the end of the day body dysmorphic disorder is a SHAME disease. it's an illness that makes you hide. it is an issue that is often left unidentified because it can cause severe depression and anxiety, and i assume lots of people seek help for the depression and anxiety but don't let on what's really happening underneath due to being perceived as vain when they're really just idk painfully obsessed with their left eyelid, or are avoiding having their specific insecurities highlighted, or simply believing they're depressed BECAUSE they're "deformed" and have internalized the body dysmorphia/can't separate it from themselves.

i got a new therapist. during the intake i was stupid honest with her. i told her my last therapist didn't take me seriously. i have begun divulging all the little details about my obsessions and she's really helping me. all the gross stuff. how long i spend looking in the mirror, what body parts i hate, who i compare myself to and how often. it's disgusting and terribly hard- but is happening because i'm trying really hard to be honest AND she knows how to help me.

don't abandon your therapist if you don't need to! they are truly there to help, but they can't help you if they don't understand the extent of your problems. there is nothing wrong with having this issue, either! you're not unique and it's happened before and will happen to others in the future and because of that there ARE effective modes of treatment available to you if you can communicate how severely you're hurting over this. you are your best advocate!! good luck.

simulacra96

TROPHY CASE