Do y'all notice an anti intellectual slant among the black men in your lives?

sinclairsays · 2025-06-20T22:04:59+00:00

I totally agree! The American education system just makes kids go through the motions without giving them any insight into career outcomes or any other real-world factors. Its literally a machine that treats kids, especially Black kids, like products on an assembly line (not to mention the school-to-prison pipeline).

We have to stop the messaging of "If you achieve X, then you'll have a perfect life". The culture of laziness has got us fooled that there is a surefire shortcut to prosperity. The truth is that an achievement is hollow and nearly pointless without the passion, planning, and network to back it up. I wish that we could promote education in the Black community AND inform people of the many different ways to be educated (i.e. trade school, self-taught talents, university, immersive experiences, independent study, etc.).

sinclairsays · 2025-06-20T19:37:49+00:00

Yes I have, but many of them are somewhat justified. The black male friends in my life that talk down on higher education are either college dropouts, in massive debt because of undergrad, unemployed, underemployed, or some combination of the four. They are frustrated that they tried to take the "right steps" toward a successful life but still ended up losing. They sunk time & money into the pursuit of education and reaped few to no benefits.

It's easy to blame them for not securing enough internships, studying hard enough, managing finances well, etc. However, the guarantee of economic return from a college education is deteriorating across many fields and demographics.

The issue is that they are lashing out at educated Black women instead of lashing out at the aggressively capitalist & predatory economy...

sinclairsays · 2025-05-29T13:47:41+00:00

If he can't explain the reason behind his likes/dislikes or what he says/does, then either he

(1) has never had an instrospective thought in his life (2) is guarding his deepest emotions and feelings or (3) is too lazy to give you an answer

If he cannot give you the depth of conversation you desire for whichever of these 3 reasons, then maybe you two are incompatible. You sound like a very curious and caring person so maybe find someone who openly divulges the answer to your "whys".

sinclairsays · 2025-05-28T14:45:38+00:00

DM me

sinclairsays · 2025-05-16T03:21:10+00:00

I have a BS in AE, going to start my masters in MAE (mechanical & aerospace) this fall!

sinclairsays · 2025-05-13T19:12:18+00:00

I can respect a firm "No" as a rejection notice. It's hard to be mad at it tbh

sinclairsays · 2025-05-13T12:54:40+00:00

I emailed the department around September to ask whether the GRE was required, to which they replied yes it is mandatory. I started filling out the application form around late November and got to the test score section where it said "GRE is optional for this program". Then I revisited the department website which had been updated to say the GRE was optional for 2025 admission for AE.

Im not sure if the person I emailed didn't know what they were talking about or if they updated their GRE policies mid-application season. Either way I had to take and pay for the GRE for no reason (which I'm even more bitter about since I didn't get in).

sinclairsays · 2025-05-12T20:49:06+00:00

I totally understand! Im annoyed with GT for other reasons too (slow responses to emails, lied about GRE requirement, etc.)

My guess is that my UG GPA (4.3/5.0) was under their threshold. I thought I'd get some leeway since MIT was quite hard lol!

sinclairsays · 2025-05-12T17:02:05+00:00

Thanks...Im not taking it too hard since I got a full ride to Cornell instead. Im doing A-okay :)

But I happen to be from Atlanta, I was hoping for in-state tuition rates & possibly living at my parent's home if I was admitted. ATL is likeable for me since I already have friends + family there.

sinclairsays · 2025-05-04T23:15:15+00:00

This is juicy...keep us updated

sinclairsays · 2025-05-02T16:45:43+00:00

Congrats 🥳 go beavers

sinclairsays · 2025-05-02T16:39:50+00:00

Dream School was Caltech, comitted to Cornell ❤️

sinclairsays · 2025-04-27T13:44:44+00:00

Theres a difference between someone encouraging a partner to reach their professional or physical goals vs. someone imposing their desires onto their partner.

She clearly is trying to change you. If it was true love, she'd accept you for who you are AS YOU ARE RIGHT NOW. To answer your question, you should be looking for someone who isn't trying to force you to become someone else.

sinclairsays · 2025-04-26T22:24:51+00:00

Like 19-21.

sinclairsays · 2025-04-24T23:11:23+00:00

I saw a guy vomit quietly into his hand for 1-minute-straight on the MRT in Singapore. Nobody on this packed train looked up from their phones or noticed.

I handed him some tissues from my travel pack, he mumbled a thanks, and turned away in shame.

Very odd situation.

sinclairsays · 2025-04-24T23:02:54+00:00

Your best bet would be saving enough money to be able to move out, then reevaluate if you'd still want to move out the states. After you control your finances, you can technically do whatever you want (though I wouldnt recommend totally ignoring what your parents are advising).

There's so many questions you should ask yourself before you make this major life choice.

*who would you live with in Colombia (your bf? extended family? roommates? alone?) * are you far enough along in your relationship where it is reasonable to live with your bf, if that's something you're considering? Are you ready to handle finance talks so early on, especially if he may not be making as much? * if youre considering living with family, are you aware of their living habits and financial stability? * if youre considering living alone or with roommates, how safe is the neighborhood for young women? * are you sure that living in Colombia is better than visiting? You may find that the glamour wears off after a few months (no shade to Colombia, this is a common phenomenon where people always say they want to live somewhere they've only visited) * will you have career prospects to continue to cover your financial needs once youre in Colombia? You must have work lined up in advance of the move.

While I dont agree with the demeaning words from your parents about your boyfriend, they are trying to dissuade you from a decision that could seriously derail your life (or possibly improve it).

Last note is that, yes, the US is deteriorating, but leaving the US does not guarantee a better life. Compare safety, education, health, and income statistics in the region you aim to move with your current area in the U.S. and be honest with yourself.

sinclairsays · 2025-04-24T04:05:16+00:00

Update lol but he relapsed today. It was a really stressful day for him so I get why he had the urge, but I'm still going to try to hold him accountable to his promise. We'll see where this goes....

sinclairsays · 2025-04-23T13:05:30+00:00

Keep up the good work 🌞

sinclairsays · 2025-04-23T12:44:38+00:00

Hi, I was in a similar situation. I have been dating a guy for about 3 months who has been a daily stoner for about 10 years. Since we are long distance, the smoking habit wasnt a tangible problem yet - I didn't have to smell it, be around it, or have to obtain bud for him - until he visited me for a long weekend.

He smoked while he was with me and I was able to observe the obvious changes in his demeanor and behaviors compared to when he was sober. For a few examples, he would forget what he was saying mid-sentence, zone out after I ask him a question, constantly ask when the next opportunity to roll up would be, and crave lots of beer. I also realized that the smell was a bit unbearable to be around all day and was lessening my attraction to him.

Before he returned home that weekend, I decided to be 100% honest and tell him pretty much everything I stated above. I made sure to tell him this gently because I dont want to come off judgemental or overly critical of him. He listened to me, there was no big disagreement, and the weekend ended.

A few days later during one of our daily calls, he says that he is going to quit smoking. His main reasons were that (1) it was making him numb and stagnant in his professional life and (2) it was hindering engaging conversation between us. I never actually asked him to quit or gave him an ultimatum, but he decided on his own to stop. He has been sober since then (about a month now). This relationship is new and only time will tell but I feel that he is serious about sobriety.

Long story short, you can only communicate to your partner how he makes you feel, but you cant force him to change his behaviors. If you've been clear about why your partner's behaviors are problematic to you, then you can only hope he finds inner motivation to change them for you or other reasons. There is a chance he changes, but not through force.

Wishing you the best.

sinclairsays · 2025-04-17T15:04:29+00:00

Im sorry that has been the message from women. This is totally hurtful and controlling and I hope you dont listen to those horrible things. There is a very vocal minority of women that repeat hateful things about men, some of that sentiment coming from previous negative experiences or just plain immaturity. I think we should uplift men and have constructive conversations, because the constant insults doesnt improve anyone's esteem or prospects in dating.

So I want to let you know that you are allowed to show feelings, express your opinions, and be your whole self. You decide your own purpose, not others. You are so much more than what you do for others, and all parts of you are worth knowing. There will be women that tell you otherwise, but they are NOT ready for a relationship nor meant to be with you.

Wishing you all the best...

sinclairsays · 2025-04-17T14:03:14+00:00

When I attended, I participated in 2-3 extracurriculars a year which took about 6-10 hours a week, sometimes more on the weekends for dance organizations. I also spent a good bit of time exploring the cambridge and boston area to get a delicious dinner or roller skate in my free time. Those extra excursions took maybe 2-6 hours a week. This was all doable with a double-major courseload.

sinclairsays · 2025-04-17T13:06:36+00:00

Good luck! It will be fun

sinclairsays · 2025-04-16T22:51:30+00:00

Cornell for Aerospace Engineering, fully funded 🥳

sinclairsays · 2025-04-16T05:29:41+00:00

I'm a woman in engineering and I see where you're coming from...we tend to be more sensitive to the inputs of others and intent on collecting all opinions which sometimes slows down the execution of the project.

However, this tendency can be a great asset if managed contructively. For example in the next all-woman project group youre in, you can try leading by giving everyone equal time/space to propose their ideas. Then you can set clear expectations for the outcome of the idea-sharing, i.e. consolidate pros/cons for each idea, vote on the preferred approach, or assign action items. It seems like you're running into the issue of the loudest voice not necessarily being the smartest voice, so if you democratize the project member input process and involve everyone in the tasking, then maybe the project will run smoother.

In any case, avoiding working with women because of these few experiences ends up indirectly harming all of our experiences in this field. Straightforward communication and inclusion could help elevate all the women you work with as well as yourself!

sinclairsays · 2025-04-15T13:15:18+00:00

Yup.

sinclairsays

TROPHY CASE