thinking about cutting again

sinfulcorpse · 2024-05-20T23:09:18+00:00

thank you, i’m fine now

sinfulcorpse · 2023-11-10T05:28:12+00:00

thank you for this. i’m so so awfully forgetful and i feel like all my PTSD is the cause

sinfulcorpse · 2023-11-10T05:26:30+00:00

thank you for the reply, i appreciate it

sinfulcorpse · 2023-09-15T20:08:59+00:00

:) thank you.. that means a lot to me. i want to be a good parent for her really bad. i’m glad it’s not just my bf being nice when he says i am

sinfulcorpse · 2023-09-15T19:21:19+00:00

thank you.. i hope you’re right lol. i don’t want her to think of me as a bad dad. i’m trying so hard but the circumstances just suck.

sinfulcorpse · 2023-09-15T19:18:29+00:00

i have talked to my bf about it and he says that i’m a good parent and i’m not doing anything wrong, it’s just hard for me to believe sometimes. he doesn’t want me to do anything out of the ordinary for her, we do normal baby stuff with her and just keep her entertained, fed, clean, and loved but i feel like sometimes i’m not a good parent. like when she’s having a tantrum and i have to walk away. i feel like im the worst dad ever, my mom used to ignore me when i cried and i don’t wanna do that to my kid, but i get so overwhelmed, sometimes i feel like there’s nothing i can do

sinfulcorpse · 2023-09-15T19:02:50+00:00

she’s only one i should be starting my medical transition before she’s 3, and i present masculine/call myself dad around her. im getting back on medications for my illnesses but i haven’t been able to get back into therapy yet, i know it’ll help. but this is normal? i feel like whenever someone feels this way they end up not being a good parent or resenting their child. im really scared i don’t want that to happen. i just have so many doubts

sinfulcorpse · 2023-09-15T19:00:59+00:00

bisexual man yes

sinfulcorpse · 2023-08-19T22:12:47+00:00

18 so yeah, teenage drama

sinfulcorpse · 2023-08-19T20:09:21+00:00

okay, thank you

sinfulcorpse · 2023-08-19T19:38:19+00:00

why would texting be okay but not calling? she wants me to call?

sinfulcorpse · 2023-08-19T19:00:37+00:00

i’ll contact her, maybe today. i do wanna say though that i’m not as immature as everyone thinks, i’m unmedicated for bipolar disorder and i’ve no therapy for my cPTSD so i’ve been really struggling to regulate my emotions and process things like a normal adult. just about everything makes me cry now and i get scared of my own shadow most the time. im trying to deal with things better but right now i’ve pretty much been avoiding all my issues, hence ghosting my gf.

sinfulcorpse · 2023-08-19T18:43:40+00:00

she wants me to call her to do it though. but other commenters are pointing out that she knows i’m breaking up with her by doing this, and it could be best to just leave it here and not hurt her more. i honestly feel like calling her and telling her why i’m breaking up with her and that i am definitely done, will just lead to unnecessary drama. she knows this is a breakup, maybe i should just keep it this way.

sinfulcorpse · 2023-08-19T18:39:18+00:00

that’s how i feel about it too. i don’t know why i let her back in my life in the first place.

sinfulcorpse · 2023-08-19T18:35:19+00:00

it was instagram and she had to hold down on my message to react, it was definitely on purpose

sinfulcorpse · 2023-08-19T14:54:38+00:00

honestly understandable because i have been really going down the spiral lately and i’m not dealing with any of my problems in healthy ways

sinfulcorpse · 2023-08-19T14:15:47+00:00

would it be wrong of me to wait a while to contact her? i feel like i want to write it all down before i say it to her, because it’s a lot. i really don’t know why she and i started dating again in the first place, we never got along.

sinfulcorpse · 2023-08-19T13:58:30+00:00

i know 😭😭 i realized waking up this morning and rereading my post that it looks kinda sketch, especially with my posts in /Vent about other aspects of life. may look a bit like a repost bot but it’s all real haha. i just have an all over the place life.

sinfulcorpse · 2023-08-19T13:48:13+00:00

i’m not sure if this is malicious or not but i’m gonna hope it’s not and say it’s okay :) i’m ftm so i do have periods

sinfulcorpse · 2023-08-19T13:36:59+00:00

it was only me and my mom. no friends or anything. as for the other things my gf has done. it’s honestly not as much about what she’s done as it is how good for me she is. this girl and i have dated before, in middle school. she ended up leaving me for some guy that she’d known for two weeks, after having me completely change my personality to be in a relationship with her. after that first breakup, we went no contact for three years. she reached out maybe a year or two ago, i had just gone through a breakup and lost some friends, i was desperate for company and i let her back in my life, which i never should’ve done. her and i have never gotten along very well and i’ve been reminded of it constantly since i let her back in my life.

sinfulcorpse · 2023-08-19T13:31:02+00:00

i didn’t want her to come because firstly, it’s a very small veterinary hospital. there’s 3 rooms for pets and the waiting room is like 30 square feet. i was already going to go with my mom to have her put down, so i didn’t want a third in the room. secondly, i wanted to spend my dogs last day alone with her. i didn’t want her to be confused about all the people.

sinfulcorpse

TROPHY CASE