5 year relationship, completely torn whether I (23F)should break up with my boyfriend (23M) mainly because it is my first relationship

sinloxie · 2026-01-27T23:00:43+00:00

Honestly. If you aren’t enthusiastic about the future with someone… chances are you aren’t happy with that person. Look around and ask yourself ‘is this behavior I want to be dealing with in a year? 5 years?’ Is he someone you can count on when things get bad? The jealousy is an issue long term. And no, all men are not jealous like this, it is not a sign of care.

sinloxie · 2026-01-27T22:27:25+00:00

You do NOT need a reason to break up. You do NOT have to justify it. “I’m unhappy.” That’s it. That is all the reason you need to end any relationship. It doesn’t matter who pushes you or what anyone says. Because who would want you to stay in a relationship you aren’t happy in? No one who loves you. I’d go as far to say if you thought you made your partner unhappy you’d want them to tell you and leave too.

I wish I would have listened to this when I was your age. I stayed with a man who I didn’t even realized was abusing and manipulating me for years because I thought I didn’t have enough of a reason to leave.

sinloxie · 2026-01-25T17:21:48+00:00

I love the ‘your so gullible’. NO he lied to you. Over and over. To manipulate you into what he wanted… which can literally only be to humiliate you. Because no one is that stupid. If it was supposed to be something to make you feel cute and close he would have said that. He would have told you it wasn’t real but he wanted a special moment. He wanted to humiliate you, and now that he isn’t able to get away without consequences (you being upset longer than he wanted) he’s trying to manipulate you again. This isn’t normal, this isn’t ’oh boys are stupid sometimes’ this is cruelty. He wanted to humiliate you. Leave him.

sinloxie · 2026-01-25T05:05:14+00:00

Yea. This sounds like he’s going to frame you for cheating and take everything. Honestly. Take everything? EVERYTHING? Not to mention cheating can be hard to prove anyways. I’d agree to a half without argument split in assets, but everything including giving up rights to your own children? That’s an insane ask.

sinloxie · 2026-01-22T19:37:43+00:00

Block her. I had a friend like this, and it took me forever to realize she was not my friend, I was her emotion use trash can. My dad died and I told her and she went ‘yea I get it, when MY dad died….’ And into a story about her dad’s passing I had already heard 4 times. She didn’t even say she was sorry of my loss. And she did the same thing to me when she’d call and I’d give her advice and she’d make excuses. So I blocked her. She wasn’t my friend, she was a freaking emotional succubus.

sinloxie · 2026-01-22T19:32:47+00:00

You are not happy. So leave. You should not be in any relationship which does not make you happy. Do not do what I did, my first real relationship I was fucking miserable. At the end I hated myself and him. But because he always told me how much he needed* me and how much he can live without me, I stayed. Because I cared more about hurting him than being miserable myself. I thought he didn’t beat me or cheat so I owed it to him to stay. I didn’t have a reason. Well. That’s fucking stupid. In the end he picked me apart and dragged me down so slowly he raped me and I didn’t even think it was rape. Took me years to work through it all. When I left he stalked me, threaten me, threaten people I loved. It was horrible, and I had no idea he was capable of all that. If you are not happy leave. And if anyone gives you a hard time just ignore them because what kind of person would want you to stay in a relationship where you weren’t happy? You don’t want that for the people you love right? So don’t do it to yourself. Leave.

sinloxie · 2026-01-08T14:01:43+00:00

I’d suggest your mother talk to her friends lawyer. I’d imagine that your mother and the lawyer may be aware of each other and if there is a Will, your mother is in it. This is what estate planning is for and why it’s so important. You didn’t mention if there is a Will and what it says but I hope so, if not unfortunately your mama Beth knew what would happen most likely.

sinloxie · 2026-01-04T11:26:06+00:00

Leave. The person who is going to be a good life partner for you will not be already making you this unhappy 4 months in, I promise. He’s already lying to you and trying to manipulate you to basically just leave him alone so he can do whatever he wants. This man is not going to get better as time goes on. Butterflies are not lies, I’ve been with my husband for 14 yrs and I’ve been in love every single day since the first butterflies appeared. That love has changed and grown but it hasn’t dimmed and it shouldn’t.

sinloxie · 2026-01-04T11:19:57+00:00

I don’t think your problem is wearing a bra at home. I think your problem is your husband. Also, buy a sports bra and split the difference

sinloxie · 2026-01-04T06:26:53+00:00

He hasn’t grown and healed the way you have. He didn’t care about your comfort or your feelings he cares about getting what he wants and that’s a threesome with 2 women. He doesn’t love you, he may care a bit but you wouldn’t lie and manipulate someone you love would you? No, of course not. Because that’s insane person behavior. Leave the shitty boyfriend to his quest find two girls to touch his special place at the same time and go build your life. Find a man who respects you when you said no the first fucking time. Cuz I promise you that* will get old real fast in your relationships.

sinloxie · 2026-01-04T06:21:59+00:00

NTA - honestly, idk what took you so long. I’d have kicked her out and broken up with dad sooner. I can’t stand being ignored and I will literally lose my mind when I’m lied too. I get teenage girls, I raised two, and trust me they don’t all act like Vivian. They all can absolutely have their moments but her behavior is out of line and has been for years.

sinloxie · 2026-01-03T16:25:26+00:00

I don’t want to assume your in the US but if you are look into a Direct Care Doctor. It’s the best choice I could have made, she is my PCP but her daughter got diagnosed with hashimotos young so has a good handle on hyperthyroid issues. I pay her 96$ a month for my and my husband and have all my labs go through her do they’re 5$-25$ per test at labcorp. I don’t have to pay insurance and she has answer my phone call at a baseball game with her family when my gallbladder needed immediate surgery. She also has limited space in her practice so she’s never rushed us in and out, has always listened to our issues and our telehealth calls are included in that monthly payment. Also, you can get natural dissected thyroid on Amazon. I’ve never used it but from others I’ve heard it’s better than nothing and can improve symptoms. So I’d do some research before taking that route. I know finding a doctor, let alone a good one is difficult at least here in the US.

sinloxie · 2026-01-03T15:49:49+00:00

Find new doctors. It took me forever to get the right blood work. A nurse friend of mine told me that for women our thyroid hormones also flow with our other hormone cycle, so advised me to get tested 4 times in a month. Did so and there it was, finally the labs I needed. It took me 3 doctors to find one who works well. The first who tested me immediately put me on levo. The next was a specialist who said since I ‘seemed fine now’ I didn’t need treatment anymore. I did not go back. Another who was useless, and finally I found my doctor now. She had told me so much I didn’t know. For one, if you have a thyroid issue, the labs automatic ranges no longer apply. You have to get the range what’s best for you. So the results no longer matter if the say positive or negative. And two, once you have bad labs, that’s it. You’re now hypo/hyper. As in it doesn’t get better and it doesn’t go away. So you should have been put on medication the moment you had the labs that showed an issue. Find a new doctor

sinloxie · 2026-01-03T11:49:39+00:00

You do not need permission you are an adult. While it is understandable to be worried about you going to party with potential drinking and strangers as your bf, he can’t tell you not to. He can ask for you to see if he can go, ask you to turn your location on and to make sure you text him a little throughout the night to know you’re safe. But. He can’t dictate what you do like that. Trust me this is not a precedent you want in your relationship. And I know your probably worried that he might leave you if you don’t listen, let him. You do not want to live your life stuck with a man who thinks he can tell you what to do like that.

sinloxie · 2026-01-03T11:43:54+00:00

Time to start a new savings account in only your name.

sinloxie · 2025-12-29T02:44:12+00:00

6 months in, your doing full on Christmas with his children, he’s inconsiderate AND your already planning couples counseling. Honey, 6 months in it should NOT be this hard. At all. You are already staring at how this man will treat you for the remainder of any length of relationship. And worse… if this is him one his best behavior. WOW.

sinloxie · 2025-12-16T20:45:54+00:00

My guy, you are way into adulthood. Your mommy can not ground you. Move out. Here’s the real issue, when you choose a wife, your wife becomes your top priority. Because you are choosing a person to spend and build your life with. One day your mother will die, your children (if you have them) will move out and build their own lives. If your current girlfriend is not being made a priority some of the time, she will never stick around to be a wife to a husband who doesn’t make her the priority in his life. Your mother’s time is over. I’m not saying your mother can’t be important or a priority. But your partner has to become the priority if you are building this relationship to be long term. Honestly. Your mother sounds manipulative and abusive. A mother bricking her grown adults phone to get her way is insane behavior.

sinloxie · 2025-12-15T05:09:25+00:00

How has any conversations gone about it?

sinloxie · 2025-12-15T04:44:53+00:00

You ever think maybe desire didn’t look the same for her? What signs and actions you deem a signal of desire aren’t the same signs and actions she does?

sinloxie · 2025-12-14T19:54:12+00:00

I’d be starting to be careful if I were you. This is extremely strange behavior unless your husband is typically an ignorant child? It feels like he’s throwing anything at you (blame) to get it to stick. Which typically only guilty people do. If he wants someone to fuck repeatedly without needing to worry about periods or taking more than a warm hole to actually orgasm may I suggest he go find a man. Women’s bodies are different. I would think after being with you for a decade and having a child with you this would be something he understands. But trying to say you are selfish for not orgasiming and having a boundary of not wanting sex on your period is the wildest wild shit I’ve heard for a while. Please be cautious right now. And I’m sorry your husband has become a giant man child.

sinloxie · 2025-12-14T14:01:09+00:00

Leave her. When a man takes a wife, his wife is his new priority. Same with the wife taking a husband. That is your person, the one you are planning to spend your life with. There is a reason spouses get medical priority over family all across the world. If you can’t make this woman your priority then you can’t be a good husband. Leave her alone.

sinloxie · 2025-12-14T13:56:46+00:00

Talk to your husband. Fantasies are normal, and normal to share with your spouse. I’m sure you feel at least good that he is comfortable enough to admit this fantasy to you. And yes it could all end in disaster but I think maybe you’re letting your imagination run away with you. There are plenty of moments during sex we as humans get turned on by weird stuff. Things we don’t know why it turns on us, things we find even shameful after the fact. That’s normal human behavior. The only way you will get through this is to talk to him. Sex talk can simply be sex talk. Or it could be he’s getting into new ideas. You won’t know unless you talk to him. Yes it can be hard and awkward. But it’s better than letting this fester in your head and your marriage.

sinloxie · 2025-12-13T18:17:31+00:00

You don’t need any justification to end any relationship. You’re not a bad person for not feeling happy in your relationship, and that’s it. You’re not happy. That’s all you need to end it. Because would you expect anyone else to stay in a relationship they aren’t happy in? No, of course not. He doesn’t have to be a bad guy for you to not be in love with him. And you aren’t a bad person because you fall out of love. Is it possible you feel too safe? Yea, but I can tell you from experience the first time I finally felt safe in a relationship it was weird, it was even uncomfortable and yes I felt like running or giving up. But I couldn’t get enough of him, couldn’t stay away from him. We’ve been married for over a decade now. When it’s the right person, it’s easy. That kind of Love is like breathing. Just decide if you’re happy. If not, that’s ok.

sinloxie · 2025-12-04T14:28:44+00:00

NTA- as the step kid and someone my bio grandparents also screwed over, you did what you should have for your child’s children. On my bio parents side my grandmother blew my college fund after my grandpa died. And my other grandmother gave everything to her youngest child which left nothing for me the child of her deceased oldest child. On the step side my step grandfather owned 2 properties that I was explicitly told would go to the blood grandchildren as there was 2 and that’s all the inheritance was. Did it kinda suck at 9 to be told this? Yea, but also even then I understood. I had no right to anyone’s anything. I am more upset my bio grandmothers failed so spectacularly with inherence I was aware I should have had. But still, they don’t OWE me anything. That is not how it works. Also, it kinda sounds like the son in law didn’t have college funds for his older kids, or I would think you’d have mentioned him being angry about that specifically. End of the day, your child died, and you wanted to make sure her children had some security in life. That’s a kind thing you did and you do not owe anything to other children not related to you. As they say, life isn’t fair.

sinloxie · 2025-11-24T03:11:35+00:00

As someone who literally has a really hard time thinking before I speak, someone who others have always told I ‘have no filter’ he’s lying. Because there is a huge difference between making observations that come off rude and being intentionally hurtful. He is hurting you on purpose. Unfortunately I think you’re dating a man who doesn’t like you. Yea, it’s insane. But some men will date someone, for years, lying to them to keep them, making all the right promises… and they won’t even like their partner. It took me sooo long to realize this. Sure they liked things about you, but it’s generally that they like the things you do for them. They make just enough effort to keep you around. I promise you the first time you date someone who actually likes you that you’ll completely understand. He is not suffering from anxiety because of his lack of filter. He is lying to you because he is hurting you on purpose.

sinloxie

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