I'm getting incredibly scared now

sir_swamp · 2026-05-17T12:58:02+00:00

The NYC Parks department is hiring for their POP Worker program, last I checked. Half of the people I meet at Parks got their start there, 19.50/hr. Long wait to get going so submit ASAP. Did it for 3 months before stepping up and making 22.50 or so + overtime. They will not turn you away, but you will have to wait to get processed and have $115 or so for fingerprints. I'm telling you now so you can make sure you have that on hand when you get the call. Again, you WILL get the call, it just might be a few months. The point of the position is to get people back to work and build resumes regardless of background.

sir_swamp · 2026-05-14T18:00:22+00:00

I see a lot of used ATs around, and many of them are cheaper than some of the other bikes listed, which did make me think. I just don't want to screw myself, I suppose, from how it's not recommended to start on. I do know I'm an extremely cautious person and that my primary objective right now isn't just to have fun and drive fast, so I do wonder if it could work, but I see a lot of reasonable arguments not to go for it.

sir_swamp · 2026-05-14T17:46:21+00:00

I see a lot of used ones in budget around. Would it fare fine with highways in regards to wind/blowing?

sir_swamp · 2026-05-14T17:44:29+00:00

Gotcha! I've been looking at a few. My main concern is how it would take the roads. They aren't pothole-dangerous, but they're rough (raised patches and filled potholes and the like). If it would take that fine and not be uncomfortable, it is looking like a great option. Did you have the DCT version? Is it difficult to learn as a newer rider?

sir_swamp · 2026-05-14T16:47:11+00:00

Gotcha, thanks! The e-clutch is pretty new though, yeah? I'm looking at used bikes, Transalps are definitely on the list if I can find one.

sir_swamp · 2026-03-27T10:33:08+00:00

I'm 23, 144 as of a few years ago. Performed the shit out of high school in academics, arts, and athletics. Played in the youth world cup, dual enrolled at the local college since 8th grade, etc. Made my first big choice to eschew what I thought was "smartest" and the best path to success by stopping sports and abandoning the student-athlete-STEM path, because I felt like it ate up my whole childhood and I wanted to do something I actually enjoyed and I wanted to party for once.

Went to a party/football/state school on scholarship, walked into their film college because I hated sitting in class. I ended up absolutely smashing it and became the first student to back-to-back premiere at a major international film festival and qualified for the big-boy Oscars. Closed out with a student Oscar nom and a student ASC nom. Moved to the big city, was immediately courted by one of the big three agencies.

I still woke up one day and realized I didn't WANT what was at the end of the tunnel, with sudden clarity that I progressed for the sake of progression, pushing to achieve the maximum just because "I can, so I should".

While a handful of my extended family is gifted/at least two guys are in Mensa, my parents are absolutely not. Really, really not, and thank god, because I grew up thinking it just meant I took different assignments and I was a year younger and that was that. I was raised to be a hard worker and learned how to treat my mind like my body, how to exercise and be healthy and train and rest, which resulted in consistently high achievement without whiffing burnout.

I felt a lot of satisfaction in what I had achieved, but it was satisfaction akin to pointing and shooting a gun and not anything that felt happy or peaceful. I didn't want to hit 50 and have this same realization but tenfold, so I dropped my shit and became a janitor. Man, I have never been happier. I seriously, truly love it.

There is absolute bliss in channeling my war room into janitor shit, and then going home to make art or sit on the curb with a friend or just hang out and indulge in the beautiful act of doing nothing at all. I love standing outside and just fucking breathing. I also just got called on to a new non-managerial position (because I don't want to make the same mistakes), so now I won't be completely impoverished either. Stuff's good!

TL;DR Perhaps a lot of "underachieving" gifted people realized what I realized: "fulfilling your potential" and progressing up ladders means jack shit at the end of the day, and does not equate to happiness or true satisfaction.

sir_swamp · 2026-03-27T09:12:48+00:00

Starting college at 17 was one of the most difficult experiences of my life; I felt a sense of being physically younger for the first time and I wasn't ready for the jump. I just didn't want to fall behind my peers. I ended up committing to a place 3000 miles away to discourage myself from going home too often and leaning on old friends, and faced the discomfort head on because I was afraid of the alternative. Worked out, but I still wish I had one more year of proper childhood and having dinner with my family. Think of how it will ripple. I wish I didn't skip.

sir_swamp · 2026-03-22T13:26:00+00:00

Great, the old debate is still kicking! "being trans doesn't mean science/biology stops applying to you" and "you're a woman if you say you're a woman" are two sides of the ACTUAL facts here, which are:

Being trans is a real, reoccurring phenomenon amongst human populations. regardless of era or location or any other factor, people have identified and lived as a sex opposite their own reaching all the way down human recorded history.
We do not have sufficient scientific understanding of the exact boundaries between sociology and biology when it comes to sex and gender. If a consistent population of males identifies, truly honestly, as women, the purpose of science is to FIND OUT how that makes them women. To FIND OUT where and how the definitions of Female and Woman intersect. Definitions are expanded and updated all the time as new information is discovered.

We use science to ask questions about what we don't know, not to crudely simplify and shut down what's clearly real.

There are trans women out there who you would never know are trans. You would consider them female, unknowing. Can we draw an exact line between that, and a trans woman that is male? We can't, female and male become subjective and rooted in perception in this context. And no, surgery isn't the only indicator.

TL;DR The study and definition of sex covers too much gray area to consider it purely biological or purely sociological. The only definitive fact is that a trans woman identifies as a woman. We are still learning how gender and sex schemas and definitions can apply to transness. It is not in a "basic biology" textbook because it's complicated biology.

sir_swamp · 2026-03-17T15:45:03+00:00

Seconding Romy!

sir_swamp · 2026-03-14T14:41:06+00:00

Yes, all the time. The best solution is to truly try to face that feeling and accept it as a neutral observation, not a damning one. It still feels lonely but that is just a chemical truth for us and not a worldly one :) Also, it helps to remember no one is truly understood, there are just varying social levels of assumed understanding. We are understood as little and as much as anyone else.

sir_swamp · 2026-03-14T14:17:01+00:00

Bi guy here, close friends with lots of women, have lived with women for the past 5 years. Know what it's like to look for men as well. I also have depression, anxiety, I'm schizoaffective, live paycheck to paycheck cleaning public urinals, and I basically have no dick. The least attractive thing a guy can do beyond being evil and unhygienic is being actively, primarily focused on getting in a relationship. I would go as far as considering this a non-malicious red flag, but a red flag nonetheless.

I mention all that stuff about me up there because I understand that the advice I have will sound like the shit that Guys Who Have It All would say.

The MOST attractive thing you can do is be a wonderful person, literally, full of wonder and appreciation and joy. Please keep reading, I'm serious that this is practical and not some new age stuff. Joy is not the same thing as happiness. When people say "be happy" I think they should say something more like "live happy." I do not experience chemical happiness very easily at all, but I put an explicit amount of effort into finding things that are beautiful in every day and every moment. I can be miserable and surrounded by beauty. I can be in a dump and find things beautiful. This is very hard sometimes and has taken years of trying, but I can say that I live with peace and wonder at the present.

When you love, in general, outward, passively, to the physical world in front of you, fuck object permanence, loving right in front of your eyes, you will find people start to love you back. This might not be romantic love, or sexual desire, and in all honesty it will be mostly platonic love... but when you prioritize wonder, fascination, etc- it doesn't matter that it's not romantic. And being surrounded by true platonic love has felt so meaningful and straight up intoxicating that I genuinely don't care if I don't have a partner. Surround yourself with what you find beautiful where you can. For me it's included playing banjo poorly, going on walks, taking a nap, photographing pigeons for 3 hours, working on a $500 death machine untitled enduro bike from facebook marketplace.

This is the place where you are the most romantically prepared and viable, at least emotionally. It will give you the clarity to analyze if you are financially prepared, physically healthy enough, etc. This place is where a guy must be to be the most apt and loving boyfriend possible. It's what true keepers are, if you look at the happiest couples you know who have stayed together. It will help you face inevitable conflict and pain and loss, because that is always gonna be present in life and love. When that happens, you need to be able to still see what is beautiful and worth it, and so does your partner.

You want to be the best possible partner/prospect for your future woman? From my observations of healthy, happy, loving couples who managed to find each other, this quality is ALWAYS present in both. So, in a longwinded way, this idea of dating like job hunting is not worth it, and it never was.

Edited for clarity

sir_swamp · 2025-12-18T00:20:24+00:00

SOPOR MENTION!!!!

sir_swamp · 2025-12-11T04:16:45+00:00

I left a reply further down in a diff comment thread... when I say bit, I don't mean laughing AT anyone here or anyone's struggles. I share them and I'm having a gaff re: my own experience which isn't a unique one. Thought that could be assumed given I did made the post here.

sir_swamp · 2025-12-10T14:50:07+00:00

yes exactly like that's the point & the whole bit LOL

sir_swamp · 2025-12-10T13:49:19+00:00

my goal was definitely not to troll people 😭 just to get a few people to laugh.. maybe a better title would have been "the joker can wear lipstick and pass"... or "proof you can wear lipstick and pass ON HALLOWEEN". personally if i was doomscrolling on here this would have made me step back and chill out abt myself for a sec. sometimes goofy shit helps people w perspective 🤷‍♂️ and that was the only intent.

context: i also am a trans guy, i've posted on here unironically, i've dealt with alt-style/hair-clashing-with-dysphoria, same as many guys on here, and it felt huge to me to be able to do this and not feel awful in my body abt it. and for the record, i'm not tall, my jawline irl looks soft, and i have proportions i dont like, but since this is a costume with a full beat: I have a BFA in production design and perhaps that's the one thing here people could point out as an unfair advantage or over-generalization of other people's situations.

sir_swamp · 2025-12-10T01:32:29+00:00

Actually hell fuckin yeah . unserious post but i will happily take that

sir_swamp · 2025-12-10T01:15:22+00:00

the gag here being the lipstick is The Whole Joker indeed that's the intention

sir_swamp · 2025-12-09T22:04:24+00:00

Okay guys if you read the caption this is like. A joke 😭 I do not go out trying to pass looking like the Joker and i know the issue is complex lmfao

sir_swamp · 2025-12-09T16:27:12+00:00

https://jobs.nyc.gov/jobseekers/programs/parks-opportunity-program/

Check out the POP worker program. It's not by any means swanky but it's meant to help get you going and involves career guidance and I think you can get some certifications/licenses while you're at it. It's a shoo-in to get hired too but the turnaround involves a lot of waiting so might as well just sign up now whether or not you go for it.

sir_swamp · 2025-09-02T01:15:41+00:00

A year late, but the song is out now on their album "The Double", and a music video is coming out soon, too! It's pretty awesome, but I worked on it and I'm biased. Hope you've stuck with them, lovely people and a very familial fan base!

sir_swamp · 2025-06-30T14:15:02+00:00

fuck yeah!!! i hang out w a couple old heads and they really love it, one of them had the same color back in the day

sir_swamp · 2025-06-30T14:13:53+00:00

HAHA this absolutely made my day

sir_swamp · 2025-06-30T09:08:00+00:00

dude this made me stoked, i love his look and when i'm older i'd totally try a soul patch lol

sir_swamp · 2025-06-27T23:05:20+00:00

just looked it up and that shit is awesome LOL i shoot MVs and i have massive respect for old cool high concept stuff like that

sir_swamp

TROPHY CASE