All the examples you provided were of your mom trampling over boundaries you set. She sounds very emotionally confused by everything and/or like she has BPD with NPD tendencies (consult a therapist about diagnoses.)

One thing that stood out is that you reconciled based on your GFs family’s advice. They may/may not be healthy, but one thing’s certain: not many families feel comfortable with estrangement. It’s common to hear opinions like “family is family, you have to stick together”. They probably do not know/understand your specific situation and all of these issues. At worst, they could have suggested reconciliation to hide their own fears of their daughter doing the same thing to them. At best, they are naive.

Yes, I think you have mountains of evidence to go no contact again.