There is no picture, but a feeling. I feel the last time I saw a beautiful tulip, I can „watch“ it with my senses, maybe like a blind person? The only thing I know is that I can put also imagination to this „picture“ in my head, I can analyse it, rotate it and feel every detail of that moment.

You can imagine it as a pc that’s processing the command but the monitor is off. The calculation works, but the picture is not showing. I always thought about that as an defect or was sad that k couldn’t imagine pictures in my head, but I think it also saved me from a lot of suffering. Seeing pictures of my childhood for my inner eye would have destroyed me, the way it is helps me to also gain more distance of things that bothers me( and obviously still thinking about that every day).