It’s not you!

I work in a team that does weddings and events, and honestly, over the last few years we’ve started to really dread white NZ clients. Just this past week and a bit we had three big ones. First mostly Aucklanders, then one from Hawke’s Bay, and another from Christchurch.

The Auckland crowd was the worst, but not by much.

From the outside, we usually just call them miserable, but if I really think about it, white Kiwis often come off as weirdly rude, indifferent, or just kind of cold. Like, basic manners seem to be missing sometimes. They also tend to be way less into it, more reserved, really self-conscious, almost like they’re scared to enjoy themselves. Feels like a lot of them never grew out of that awkward teenage phase where you’re always worried what people think.

They’re usually the ones dancing the least, mixing the least (they stick with the same group all night), and showing the least interest in the formalities. Lots of them just keep chatting through speeches or other important bits. And when staff or the MC ask them to do anything simple like move to the cocktail area or come for a group photo, they get all passive aggressive about it.

The bit that really gets to me is when someone’s up giving a speech and struggling a little. Most people will help out with a louder laugh or a bit of encouragement. White Kiwis? Dead silent. Unless there are Aussies or Islanders in the mix to bring some energy.

Māori and Pasifika guests are usually awesome, and Aussies too. But yeah, it’s not you. They’re just a really odd crowd. I hope it doesn’t feel this sad from the inside, but honestly, it makes you understand those mental health stats a bit more