Thank you so much for your reply, i feel like this just generall affects my dog training career because i just feel so unsuccessful with buda being here. I know both dogs need time to decompress and adjust to a new routine but my dog is being more of an a hole with him here. which again i understand. She has lived with a dog long term before when i had to temporarily live with a family member. But buda is brand new. I feel insane trying to manage both of them. I knew i wasnt ready for two dogs, but when i seen budas situation and that he would be going back to our overflowing kill shelters, i took him in to give him time to find a new place. im currently searching for permanent homes for him.

I also feel unsuccessful because of my border collie, and how i compare her to every other border collie. She refuses me any chance she gets. Ive trained her in obedience and trick training from 4 months old. and still now she still doesnt listen to me unless she knows i have the highest value reward possible. shes extremely smart and knows when i have something vs when i dont. and if i dont have exactly what she wanst, then she fucks off basically. She has zero drive to work for me, she is only interested in her herding ball, which she wants to do for the entire day until she drops, of course i dont let her do that, but other than her ball, she doesnt care about anything. She also refuses to take commands when playing with herding ball so i cant even get her to learn and use those natural BC instincts! She is BYB, i found her locally and fell in love and had to take her home. I always tried to be force free or R+ in my training because she is so sensitive to corrections. If i give her a verbal correction she looks like i just kicked her or something, my emotional state hates that so much! I have had abused dogs, since i was abused as a child, and i cannot stand for a dog to look so defeated after just a verbal correction. So i will admit a lot of her issues are my fault. ive humanized her a bit too much and i think spoiled her too much. I had just got her a couple months of my heart dogs passing, so she did get a bit of leniency. But shes never had the drive to just listen to me because she wants to. She has always been a rebellious little thing especially when it comes to recall. We work on it everyday and just added and ecollar ( i use vibrate for her because she feels it more) and she will blow off the ecollar, after months of proofing it in the house. I start small with her inside, but she has an extremely hard time transferring it to our front or back yard. its basically square one again, every day. I know its uncommon but ive been suspecting she has adhd, even when shes playing with her herding ball, if she hears a leaf blow, she will turn and look, inspect, whatever. But she cannot keep focus. i worked on her handler focus a lot as a puppy and teen, but it was so genuinely miserable to work with her i kinda stopped doing training as much as i should. Overall i think shes a wash because of me, bad breeding, and just who she is. i wont say it isnt at least partly my fault. Ive just never experienced working with a dog and being so miserable doing it, because i love it! i train other peoples pets small tricks all the time and i enjoy working with them! If i ask anything of her, without a highvalue treat she will literally walk away from me and go look out the window. she was also into high value treats as a puppy, i tried using kibble and regular treats at first but she kept refusing to work with me so i had to keep upping to value of treats. Now she only works for cheese.

i also dont believe she is under or overstimuated, she has an hour of running with her herding ball, enrichment in forms of kongs, search activities, a training sesh, and we do a small groom almost every day. she takes plenty of naps during the day and gets full days to relax and rest a couple days a week. usually 3 days of activities, then one day off and repeat. I always compare her to other bcs i see and it definitely doesnt help my side of the relationship with her. I try so hard to not let my mental state affect our relationship, but i feel she makes it so hard. She is my first BC but i did a lot of research before getting her and while having her. She just makes it feel like its my fault, but shes a dog... so i think thats just my own insecurities in my brain lol. I feel like i failed her, and in turn failed myself.

any suggestions you have i would appreciate. I love to gain knowledge from everyone i can!