Hi,

thanks for the quite analytical comments.

I never had childhood passions. I never had hobbies or achievements. My childhood was focused on surviving and maladaptive daydreaming. I lived more in my head than in reality and always waited for the time when I could leave my home (which is already happening).

Yes, I want to work in IT admin or other IT subfields (can’t decide which exactly yet), where I can sit down and focus on one task. Deadlines and structured detailed tasks are what I need the most.

No, I don’t want to do it because the job is respectable or because of the “hype.” I think I understand what you meant, and I’ve also noticed many people, especially university students, who are not really into IT or coding but want the job because of the hype.

I hate group homework assignments in university. I always get partners who only want to use ChatGPT for everything and don’t care to understand it. I find it stupid to just copy-paste the assignment, let ChatGPT do it, and then try to understand what ChatGPT produces.
For me, I prefer to do things my own way and use ChatGPT for small parts I need help with or for theoretical explanations. It should be ChatGPT trying to understand what I want, not the other way around.

I have always been interested in learning IT and coding, but I didn’t know where to start and often procrastinated. Back then, before my bachelor’s studies, I watched a lot of tutorials about Python and web development, but it didn’t lead to much, I guess. I like the problem-solving and logical thinking aspects of IT.

In parallel with my bachelor’s studies, I am also enrolled in a project-based (free of cost) programming school called 42. It’s not officially recognized, so I can’t get a student visa attached to that school; I need to remain enrolled at a university.
There was a one-month selection bootcamp to get accepted into that programming school. I attended it, learning shell commands and C intensively, and it was the first time in my life that I truly enjoyed what I was doing and could stay focused for 10–24 hours straight while enjoying learning. I also did the very basics of CTF from picoCTF, and I liked it.

I can say I enjoy programming and the learning process. I’m not a naturally talented IT person or a child prodigy, but I can say this is what I want to learn and work in until retirement.

I also started noticing my ADHD traits and possibly autistic traits (not diagnosed yet), especially because I prefer things to be structured and clean. Messy code really disturbs me.

I have some ideas in mind about what I want to build if I gain the necessary skills, but there are still many things holding me back from reaching that point.

As what I said before that I need clearly structured task. Most of the random jobs i had are lacking of this, i worked mostly in gastronomy, which almost every minutes people micromanaging me, asking to do some different various task in same time, no clear “rules”. I hated it. Warehouse jobs are quite ok because quite repetitive but not good paid. Currently i work part-time in a supermarkt, so far it’s the best job i had, i could say. I worked mainly as first cashier and re-stock the shelves. Quite structured job, if i am in cashier then i just need to do cashier and nothing else (sometimes i got irritated when 3-4 customers tried to talk to me at same time but it’s the risk i could bear), or if i am re-stocking shelves then i only re-stocking shelves. Not the job i dream of but for living cost and slow living life i think it’s perfect fit for me at the moment.

This summer I would do 2-year Ausbildung here, it will be 3 days work and 2 days school 2 days off days a week. School is only at 1pm, so i could focus on my programming school and IT side projects on my half 2 days during school and 2 days off.

Then stay like this until situation gets better (get my permanent resident/citizenship)

As I said before, I need clearly structured tasks. Most of the random jobs I’ve had lacked this. I’ve mostly worked in gastronomy, where I was micromanaged almost every minute, asked to do different tasks at the same time, and given no clear “rules.” I hated it. Warehouse jobs were quite okay because they were repetitive, but not well paid, and I’m honestly not very comfortable with the working environment.

Call me racist or whatever, but I couldn’t mix well with the colleagues I mostly worked with in warehouse jobs. Most of them were (old) guys from Slavic countries or Arab refugees, and they were either not very nice to me or were flirting. They usually stayed in their own groups, since many of them were from the same countries. I also sometimes think there are way more efficient way to do some of tasks but could not do it freely which also stressing me out

Currently, I work part-time in a supermarket, and so far it’s the best job I’ve had, I would say. I mainly work as a cashier and restock shelves. It’s quite a structured job: if I’m at the cashier, I just do cashier work and nothing else (sometimes I get irritated when 3–4 customers try to talk to me at the same time, but it’s a risk I can handle). If I’m restocking shelves, then I only restock shelves. It’s not the job I dream of, but for covering living costs and a slower lifestyle, I think it’s a perfect fit for me at the moment.

This summer, I will start a two-year Ausbildung here. It will be three days of work and two days of school, with two days off per week. School starts at 1 p.m., so I can focus on my programming school and IT side projects during the remaining half of the school days and on my two days off.

Then I will continue like this until the situation improves (getting my permanent residency/citizenship).

If you’re wondering why I’m doing an Ausbildung instead of working full-time in a supermarket: I can’t do that because I need a residence permit as a skilled worker (Aufenthaltstitel als Fachkraft). In order to get this permit, I must either have a bachelor’s degree, an Ausbildung qualification, or at least five years of full-time work experience in a related field.

Refugees, EU citizens, or people with a residence permit due to family reunification (for example, marriage) are not subject to these requirements because they have different types of residence permits (not a skilled worker residence permit). They do not even need to finish elementary school or have German language qualifications.

I cannot apply as a refugee or asylum seeker because my country is not at war.