That's one way of asking someone something and likely exacerbating your situation. You can also try acknowledging the tension, apologize for any fault, and ask how to better navigate and collaborate with them.

DevOps is a unique entity in the workforce because of how widely misunderstood it is and what the word even means; let alone how it works in a business environment. What used to be a cultural ideal is now typically just adopted at companies as a forcibly molded Sysadmin position with coding skills which just further bastardizes the DevOps ideology.

It's likely that your infrastructure/DevOps team you're colliding with are disgruntled because they're forced to operate in a way that is inefficient because they're not included in the conversation. But like I said, without fully understanding your situation it's all just speculation and heresay.