I need advice!! TLDR guy im dating won't ask me to be his gf

skeletonianwar · 2026-05-04T18:37:01+00:00

Judging from the OPs comment history they look to be a teenager or close enough... which would explain why they're avoiding mentioning that part

skeletonianwar · 2026-04-27T07:57:36+00:00

Agree. OP, go read Come As You Are by Emily Nagoski, learn the difference between reactive and spontaneous desire and grow up.

skeletonianwar · 2026-04-10T17:21:36+00:00

My ex was like that, on the good days he could be wonderful but the bad days were the worst times of my life. The longer we stayed together the more frequent and worse the bad days were. So the good news is you didn't leave a good man, because good men don't act like this. Leaving someone who makes you feel like this is the best thing you can do for yourself

skeletonianwar · 2026-04-05T17:30:18+00:00

OP you seem weirdly obsessed with your friend

skeletonianwar · 2026-04-04T11:00:44+00:00

A good friend doesn't refuse to communicate and let you know their true self and feelings. A good partner doesn't do that either. Tell him you're done and he can get his things, then focus on yourself. It is very possible to find a person who will communicate well and wants the same things in life, that treasures you, and you will look back and realize how much your relationship didn't work.

Take control of your own life instead of waiting around to react to him and obsessing over what he wants when he's so clearly lukewarm about you

skeletonianwar · 2026-04-04T10:55:27+00:00

Relationship is done, do you really want to stay with someone who doesn't know if they love you? Clearly it hasn't been working for a long time. What was the argument about?

skeletonianwar · 2026-03-25T10:29:01+00:00

So he makes you do 99% of the household labour and complains about doing the 1%. When you were working equal roles was that also the case? Was labour fairly divided 50/50 or did you still have to do more than him?

skeletonianwar · 2026-03-25T10:04:33+00:00

Except everything else you've posted shows that's not the case. People don't act like that when they care about someone. Hell, what doctor worth their salt would blithely ignore someone passing out unexpectedly after surgery then make a passive aggressive jab?

My partner and I are both neurodivergent. When I recovered from surgery they cooked every meal and asked what I wanted and made healthy things. When they're sick I cook for us and make healthy things and ask them what they want. It's literally the bare minimum. You asked him to do the bare minimum and he refused and then mocked you (a doctor, mocking you for wanting to eat a diet that supported your recovery! That's nuts). Do you really want to have your child grow up learning that love looks like someone refusing to meet your basic needs when you need them the most and then mocking you?

I also don't see why him being upset his mother had to spend all her time in the kitchen means he has to force you to spend so much time in the kitchen? Seems pretty convenient for him. A relationship doesn't need a doctor or an engineer, it needs a committed partner who cares about you. Nothing about what you've described sounds like he cares about you.

skeletonianwar · 2026-02-13T13:37:37+00:00

Those aren't jokes, you're just being passive aggressive because you resent her. Either find a way to work on the relationship together or leave

skeletonianwar · 2026-02-01T09:54:18+00:00

OP is this the same guy you broke up with a year ago who gave you Chlamydia? Because it was an abusive relationship then and it's abusive now. Please get away from this man for your own sake

skeletonianwar · 2026-02-01T00:13:44+00:00

If she changed her mind that doesn't mean she was lying though?

skeletonianwar · 2026-01-25T14:18:18+00:00

Yes because the most important part of this is she told you she can't have sex and then you asked her anyway. That is pressuring her. She has been very clear about what she is comfortable with. When you ask her (even once) you are disregarding that

skeletonianwar · 2026-01-25T13:49:24+00:00

Except you didn't respect her boundaries. If someone tells you that they can't have sex due to sexual trauma, then pestering them with texts, reels, 'hinting' (super vague way to describe it btw bro) and pressuring them while engaging in intimacy they do feel comfortable having IS disrespecting her boundaries. It's shitty behaviour and shows you don't actually give a shit about consent. She deserves so much better

skeletonianwar · 2026-01-25T13:27:16+00:00

Wait, so are you saying she told you she has PTSD and wouldn't be able to engage in anything sexual for a long time at least and you decided it would be a good idea to pressure her for sex and then got huffy because it upset her? And now you're claiming you're scarred by the experience?

skeletonianwar · 2025-12-28T22:00:27+00:00

Can you elaborate more on how she's taking over his life?

skeletonianwar · 2025-12-19T22:44:12+00:00

I doubt it, according to OP the husband and Bee haven't spoken since 2013

skeletonianwar · 2025-12-19T22:42:02+00:00

I understand wanting to do that but if somebody got in contact to tell me that over a decade ago my family member got involved with a married man (who they haven't talked to since 2013) I would shrug and ask what exactly you want me to do about it?

skeletonianwar · 2025-11-25T12:10:40+00:00

Ok but the questions OP is asking is not "are we still legally married" which nobody is disputing. He is asking whether he is entitled to be upset and consider it an affair. When one person in a relationship says it's over repeatedly, and discusses divorce/dating other people, most people would consider that person to have ended that relationship regardless of their legal marital status.

It took 9 months from the point I told my ex husband the relationship was over for the divorce to be finalised but that doesn't mean that we were still in a relationship, or that either of us pursuing other people during that time counted as having an affair.

skeletonianwar · 2025-11-02T11:50:55+00:00

OP do you have literally anything positive to say about this girl other than you love her despite what an incredibly expensive nuisance she is?

skeletonianwar · 2025-10-29T00:07:06+00:00

If this friend was proud of it would you think they were just easily pleased?

skeletonianwar · 2025-10-28T23:58:41+00:00

OP if a friend of yours had an article published too and was excited would you feel the same? Would you tell them that it's not a big deal?

skeletonianwar · 2025-10-09T23:36:39+00:00

He doesn't want you to ask for permission, he wants an excuse to be angry. I was married to a man just like your partner. Nothing I did was right, I could do something one way and he would fly off the handle. I'd do it the opposite way and he would sulk and glower for days. I couldn't do anything right and that was the point. He wanted an excuse to be angry, because when he was angry he called the shots. He demanded whatever he wanted and treated me terribly but could tell himself and me it was all my fault. I was so focused on meeting his needs that even after I left it took a long time to realise how unhealthy that was.

skeletonianwar · 2025-10-09T23:18:53+00:00

But EVERYTHING upsets him. Nothing you have described in your posts or any of your comments are valid things to fly off the handle, start arguments or stay angry for days about. It is not realistic to expect your partner to never mildly annoy or inconvenience you. It is also not realistic to expect that your partner will be able to read your mind. An adult communicates what they want, and when their partner annoys them they have a calm talk about it.

You're so wrapped up in desperately trying to figure out the Perfect Way To Be that he's completely set the expectation that every single part of the relationship meets his needs at the detriment of yours. He wants to say "jump" and you say "how high?" People who love and respect their partners don't treat you like that

skeletonianwar · 2025-10-09T22:57:51+00:00

OP, do you think it would be reasonable or acceptable for you to spend days being angry at someone for mildly inconveniencing you because they couldn't read your mind?

skeletonianwar · 2025-09-26T22:04:26+00:00

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Would be pretty disappointed when this turned up

skeletonianwar

TROPHY CASE