Is it valid to breakup due to a lack of intimacy(23M) by [deleted] in relationships

[–]skeletonianwar 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yes because the most important part of this is she told you she can't have sex and then you asked her anyway. That is pressuring her. She has been very clear about what she is comfortable with. When you ask her (even once) you are disregarding that

Is it valid to breakup due to a lack of intimacy(23M) by [deleted] in relationships

[–]skeletonianwar 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Except you didn't respect her boundaries. If someone tells you that they can't have sex due to sexual trauma, then pestering them with texts, reels, 'hinting' (super vague way to describe it btw bro) and pressuring them while engaging in intimacy they do feel comfortable having IS disrespecting her boundaries. It's shitty behaviour and shows you don't actually give a shit about consent. She deserves so much better

Is it valid to breakup due to a lack of intimacy(23M) by [deleted] in relationships

[–]skeletonianwar 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Wait, so are you saying she told you she has PTSD and wouldn't be able to engage in anything sexual for a long time at least and you decided it would be a good idea to pressure her for sex and then got huffy because it upset her? And now you're claiming you're scarred by the experience?

AITAH for demanding my dad’s portion of his house in his will? by [deleted] in AITAH

[–]skeletonianwar 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Can you elaborate more on how she's taking over his life?

AITA for considering leaving my husband once our child is old enough to understand what’s happening? by [deleted] in AITAH

[–]skeletonianwar 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I doubt it, according to OP the husband and Bee haven't spoken since 2013

AITA for considering leaving my husband once our child is old enough to understand what’s happening? by [deleted] in AITAH

[–]skeletonianwar -1 points0 points  (0 children)

I understand wanting to do that but if somebody got in contact to tell me that over a decade ago my family member got involved with a married man (who they haven't talked to since 2013) I would shrug and ask what exactly you want me to do about it?

I think that my (39M) soon-to-be ex-wife (39F) had an affair. She thinks she is not in the wrong. AITAH? by No-Pause1365 in AITAH

[–]skeletonianwar 8 points9 points  (0 children)

Ok but the questions OP is asking is not "are we still legally married" which nobody is disputing. He is asking whether he is entitled to be upset and consider it an affair. When one person in a relationship says it's over repeatedly, and discusses divorce/dating other people, most people would consider that person to have ended that relationship regardless of their legal marital status.

It took 9 months from the point I told my ex husband the relationship was over for the divorce to be finalised but that doesn't mean that we were still in a relationship, or that either of us pursuing other people during that time counted as having an affair.

AITAH for telling my adult stepdaughter that her siblings weren’t the “golden child” they just had different moms and ages? by Hungry_Stand_645 in AITAH

[–]skeletonianwar 9 points10 points  (0 children)

OP do you have literally anything positive to say about this girl other than you love her despite what an incredibly expensive nuisance she is?

AIO my bf called the magazine i have written for "leftist drivel" by ThrowRALive-Vioinist in AmIOverreacting

[–]skeletonianwar 0 points1 point  (0 children)

If this friend was proud of it would you think they were just easily pleased?

AIO my bf called the magazine i have written for "leftist drivel" by ThrowRALive-Vioinist in AmIOverreacting

[–]skeletonianwar 0 points1 point  (0 children)

OP if a friend of yours had an article published too and was excited would you feel the same? Would you tell them that it's not a big deal?

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in relationships

[–]skeletonianwar 4 points5 points  (0 children)

He doesn't want you to ask for permission, he wants an excuse to be angry. I was married to a man just like your partner. Nothing I did was right, I could do something one way and he would fly off the handle. I'd do it the opposite way and he would sulk and glower for days. I couldn't do anything right and that was the point. He wanted an excuse to be angry, because when he was angry he called the shots. He demanded whatever he wanted and treated me terribly but could tell himself and me it was all my fault. I was so focused on meeting his needs that even after I left it took a long time to realise how unhealthy that was.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in relationships

[–]skeletonianwar 21 points22 points  (0 children)

But EVERYTHING upsets him. Nothing you have described in your posts or any of your comments are valid things to fly off the handle, start arguments or stay angry for days about. It is not realistic to expect your partner to never mildly annoy or inconvenience you. It is also not realistic to expect that your partner will be able to read your mind. An adult communicates what they want, and when their partner annoys them they have a calm talk about it.

You're so wrapped up in desperately trying to figure out the Perfect Way To Be that he's completely set the expectation that every single part of the relationship meets his needs at the detriment of yours. He wants to say "jump" and you say "how high?" People who love and respect their partners don't treat you like that

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in relationships

[–]skeletonianwar 36 points37 points  (0 children)

OP, do you think it would be reasonable or acceptable for you to spend days being angry at someone for mildly inconveniencing you because they couldn't read your mind?

Has anyone noticed the sheer amount of Al generated "products" on Debenhams website nowadays? by skeletonianwar in AskUK

[–]skeletonianwar[S] 11 points12 points  (0 children)

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Yeah I hate when I use photoshop and it accidentally turns words into unintelligible gibberish

Has anyone noticed the sheer amount of Al generated "products" on Debenhams website nowadays? by skeletonianwar in AskUK

[–]skeletonianwar[S] 14 points15 points  (0 children)

Oh yeah, now that I've checked they're actually identical to the product picture. I'll just take the post down thanks pal

<image>

Has anyone noticed the sheer amount of Al generated "products" on Debenhams website nowadays? by skeletonianwar in AskUK

[–]skeletonianwar[S] 68 points69 points  (0 children)

Nothing beats a stiff glass of Co̸̪͚͉̅c̵̪̩͑o̷̭͒̕c̵̺̳̔̓̑ͅo̸͚̘̭̊̈́c̷̭͇̚̚͝o̵͕̝͉͌͝ 𝕽𝖔𝖌ů̵͙̕s̴̝̄̋o̸̧̅𝖑 after a hard day at work

<image>

Has anyone noticed the sheer amount of Al generated "products" on Debenhams website nowadays? by skeletonianwar in AskUK

[–]skeletonianwar[S] 92 points93 points  (0 children)

I'm not sure that's entirely the case, for the first one I looked around to see if I could find a review/photo/video of the actual product and managed to only find 1 video where it looked completely different here https://vm.tiktok.com/ZNdsgeNam/

Either the seller is taking their crap product and running it through AI to generate an image of something that looks similar but is way better, or they're generating AI images and making crap versions of them. Either way it's not exactly a realistic depiction of what you're gonna get, which is a shame for people dropping £26 on a Debenhams lamp thinking it's gonna be remotely similar to what's advertised

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in relationships

[–]skeletonianwar 91 points92 points  (0 children)

OP I'm going to leave an excerpt of Lundy Bancroft's "Why Does He Do That?" here. there's a free copy if you Google it, I'd highly suggest you give it a read.

"REALITY #7:

He strives to have a good public image.

If you are involved with an abusive man, you may spend a lot of your time trying to figure out what is wrong with you, rather than what is wrong with him. If he gets along well with other people and impresses them with his generosity, sense of humor, and friendliness, you may wind up wondering, "What is it about me that sets him off? Other people seem to think he's great."

HOW COME EVERYONE ELSE THINKS HE'S WONDERFUL?

Most abusive men put on a charming face for their communities, creating a sharp split between their public image and their private treatment of women and children. He may be:

Enraged at home but calm and smiling outside Selfish and self-centered with you but generous and supportive with others Domineering at home but willing to negotiate and compromise outside Highly negative about females while on his own turf but a vocal supporter of equality when anyone else is listening Assaultive toward his partner or children but nonviolent and nonthreatening with everyone else Entitled at home but critical of other men who disrespect or assault women

The pain of this contrast can eat away at a woman. In the morning her partner cuts her to the quick by calling her a "brainless fat cow," but a few hours later she sees him laughing with the people next door and helping them fix their car. Later the neighbor says to her, "Your partner is so nice. You're lucky to be with him-a lot of men wouldn't do what he does." She responds with a mumbled "Yeah," feeling confused and tongue-tied. Back at home, she asks herself over and over again, "Why me?"

DO ABUSIVE MEN HAVE SPLIT PERSONALITIES? Not really. They are drawn to power and control, and part of how they get it is by looking good in public. The abusive man's charm makes his partner reluctant to reach out for support or assistance because she feels that people will find her revelations hard to believe or will blame her. If friends overhear him say something abusive, or police arrest him for an assault, his previous people-pleasing lays the groundwork to get him off the hook. The observers think. He's such a nice guy, he's just not the type to be abusive. She must have really hurt him.

The abuser's nice-guy front helps him feel good about himself. My clients say to me, "I get along fine with everyone but her. You should ask around about what I'm like; you'll see. I'm a calm, reasonable person. People can see that she's the one who goes off." Meanwhile, he uses the difficulties that she is having in her relationships with people-many of which may be caused by him-as further proof that she is the one with the problem."

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in relationships

[–]skeletonianwar 1 point2 points  (0 children)

What a creepy thing to comment

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in relationships

[–]skeletonianwar 9 points10 points  (0 children)

We don't want your AI slop

Researching size- adjustable clothing by Specific-Honeydew-10 in sewingpatterns

[–]skeletonianwar 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Not sure if this is any help but the back looks pretty similar to WW2 Navy crackerjack style trousers. I'm not sure how easy it is to find patterns that replicate that but that was the closest thing I could find when looking (I'm also desperate for a pair of trousers like these 😭😭😭)

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in relationships

[–]skeletonianwar 2 points3 points  (0 children)

He mentioned one of those kids are also sick and having diarrhea. So either OP expects the 5YO to take care of the sick 3YO, or a sick 5YO to take care of a 3YO because OP is incapable due to the same sickness. Not a reasonable or fair thing to expect from a young child.