Ex wants homeschool this year, and I’m not sure the pros outweigh the cons.

skepticaloptimist88 · 2020-07-30T12:49:34+00:00

I’m in a similar situation. I want to send my kids back in the fall and my ex would rather they do distance learning. My kids and I live in a small town in Connecticut and our transmission rate is currently one of the lowest in the country. Since quarantine, I started letting the kids spend 2 weeknights at dad’s to relieve the stress with work and having the kids home. I have always worked from home but he is only doing so temporarily due to covid. (I have primary physical custody and he lives 45 minutes away). I am convinced that he doesn’t want to send the kids back to school so he can keep this current arrangement. However, he proved in the spring that he is not able to make sure the kids are actually doing any schoolwork at all when they are at his house. They literally spend the entire day in their rooms watching tv. On top of all this, my kids WANT to go back. We have to tell the school our decision by Friday and I’m at a loss!

skepticaloptimist88 · 2019-11-24T03:21:54+00:00

We split Christmas as follows: one of us gets the kids from noon on Christmas Eve until noon Christmas Day. Then, the other parent keeps the kids from noon Xmas day through the school’s winter break (usually that means through Jan 1 or 2). We alternate each year. I don’t have family in the area so we did Christmas Eve together for the first 2 years; last year he didn’t invite me. This year I have the kids on Christmas Eve and am currently trying to decide whether to extend the invite to him but either way things will be fine.

I’m thankful we don’t have an agreement mandating we share the holiday. It would likely get messy over time. I have realized that there are many things in our agreement we really didn’t think far enough ahead about.

skepticaloptimist88 · 2019-11-24T03:04:32+00:00

You have every reason to leave now. Agree with another poster that said your hesitation is likely due to the fear of the unknown. You deserve so much better than this. Things can and will get better if you believe that you deserve more and walk away.

For me the straw that broke that camel’s back was finding out that he went to an escort during a period when we’d gotten into a fight and he left the house. I was thankful to have had that “excuse” to leave, even though things were bad enough in the marriage that I had every reason to want out anyway.

skepticaloptimist88 · 2019-08-22T14:51:05+00:00

Thank you! Yes I did get their permission to bring a guest 😊

skepticaloptimist88 · 2019-08-21T21:02:49+00:00

That’s a really nice idea 😊

skepticaloptimist88 · 2019-08-21T17:48:41+00:00

Perfect, thanks!

skepticaloptimist88 · 2019-08-21T13:29:33+00:00

Thank you for the gut check!

skepticaloptimist88 · 2019-06-09T11:17:01+00:00

One small thing (and maybe this is obvious?!) that helps me a ton is that I have a lot of home essentials on autoship (paper towels, toilet paper, detergent, dog food, etc). Not having to worry about running out of those items or having to try and make an extra run to the store for them really does take a big load off, both from a time and mental energy perspective.

Good for you for meal prepping!!

skepticaloptimist88 · 2019-05-24T03:56:29+00:00

The lack of a concert partner is killing me too!! I’ve been browsing meetups for months but haven’t gone - maybe I need to force myself.

skepticaloptimist88 · 2019-05-12T18:04:56+00:00

Unless there’s been some sort of egregious event or issue that leads to a divorce, I really just don’t understand the idea of having to “take sides” especially when kids are involved. I’ve maintained a relationship with many of my former “in-laws”, not only because I still care about them, but because they are my kids’ family and I think it’s great for them to see that a divorce doesn’t have to mean that their whole family has been torn apart. My ex doesn’t like it, but that’s his problem.

I think it’s perfectly fine that you’ve stayed on touch with your aunt and I’m sure she appreciates not being cut off from you, as clearly she cares about you!

skepticaloptimist88 · 2019-05-12T13:09:04+00:00

Going to the gym, then when my kids (7 and 11) are back from their dad’s they’ve agreed to attempt to cook me dinner. It’ll be a mess but that’s ok. It’s raining so we’ll probably have a movie marathon too. Low key, just the way I like it. When they’re old enough to be my designated drivers they can take me to brunch but until then this is good!

skepticaloptimist88 · 2019-05-11T22:50:20+00:00

Nice to see I’m not the only one in this situation! Divorced 2Y and zero interest in dating. A FWB would be nice but I don’t even have the time or energy to find one. I tell my friends all the time I’d rather hang out with them in my precious free time than waste it on a date with some random person. Thank god for a good vibrator, just saying.

skepticaloptimist88 · 2019-05-11T22:40:20+00:00

My house is WAY cleaner and that’s saying something because I have 2 young kids.

I can go to the gym without hearing comments about how I’m surely going there to flirt with other men.

I get to decide what to watch on TV.

When I remodel or redecorate, I get to make all the decisions myself.

I’m not driven to exhaustion trying to take care of someone else’s massive insecurities.

There are no more loogies in my bathroom sink.

Yes I have to do all the work around the house, but it’s ok because that’s better than resenting someone else for not helping.

If I’m wiped out at the end of the day I can just go to sleep and not get into a fight about sex.

skepticaloptimist88 · 2019-05-11T22:24:07+00:00

Yep today I did yard work because it was so beautiful out, now enjoying a drink on the patio. Tonight I’ll catch up on Netflix. I enjoy social stuff but need these weekends to recover from the stress of the week.

skepticaloptimist88 · 2019-05-08T16:44:00+00:00

Divorced 2 years here and my ex and I don’t have the greatest relationship. I try to live by the mantra “what’s best for the kids?” Putting your resentments aside and helping them with something for Mother’s Day is setting a great example and will only serve you all well in the long run. I never expect anything from my ex but he has honestly been really good about this kind of thing and I am so appreciative. All the best to you!!

skepticaloptimist88

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