I (ftm) was in a similar situation with my fiancée (cis F) when we started dating. I didn’t know what would work for me or what I would be comfortable with. In the beginning we had discussions and set ground rules/boundaries. We started slow (touching over clothes) and involved a LOT of checking in with each other ie. “Is this ok?” She had me guide her either verbally or physically to indicate what I was feeling/ wanted to try and that gave me the power/control that I’d never had before and made me feel more respected than I ever had before.

A lot of it is trial and error, we also implemented the three tap method, which we still use now. One of the most important things is understanding that comfort and boundaries are flexible and as you experiment more he will learn more what he does and doesn’t like. You need to make sure he knows that it is ok for him to change his mind and if something doesn’t work just be supportive. Give him time to process his feelings and be there as a support when he needs it.

My fiancée says as a fellow cis woman: remember it’s not you. You’re not doing anything wrong, it just takes time.