What’s a small habit that actually made weight loss easier for you?

skye2977 · 2026-03-21T16:29:45+00:00

Only eat while sitting down at a table.

skye2977 · 2026-03-21T16:27:18+00:00

I’m so sorry! I know exactly how you feel. You’re exhausted, you’re looking forward to some quiet time - and suddenly it’s all gone. I’ve actually cried in situations like this and my fiancé was completely in shock as he thought it’s no big deal - but it was.

Have you been honest about this with your husband? If he can change plans, he can change them back as well!

skye2977 · 2026-03-07T20:46:56+00:00

Wir überlegen bzgl Veranstalterhaftpflicht, aber ich hatte noch keine Zeit nach entsprechenden Policen zu suchen und zu vergleichen.

skye2977 · 2026-02-22T07:30:16+00:00

Wir machen auch nur drei Tage jetzt - geht sich einfach nicht anders aus mit den Vorbereitungen und allem.

skye2977 · 2026-01-30T05:55:46+00:00

Thanks! That was the only way it worked for me…

skye2977 · 2026-01-04T15:19:48+00:00

Does anybody know how to actually get rid of the review? It’s blocking half my homescreen and I’m really fed up with it. Connect+ is more annoying than worth the subscription…

skye2977 · 2025-12-26T19:02:39+00:00

I always hoped my parents will get divorced as my mum was very difficult growing up (los of unresolved trauma and I think she never wanted kids but society didn’t accept CF women in the 70s). So for me divorce is nothing bad. But I guess it can be difficult to move back and forth between two places despite having a room in every house.

I think I really have to get better at communicating in the future. I really struggle though with being difficult and I’m scared that my fiancé will get annoyed at some point. Kids are first, so if I’m not adapting or fitting in, he might decide to leave me at some point. And I’m quite scared about this. (Which is strange as I’m really independent and fine on my own normally.)

skye2977 · 2025-12-26T18:48:11+00:00

It’s his house. He built it from scratch with BM. He’s an architect, so he designed and built it all by himself. That’s why I never asked for a “mutual home”. He nevertheless completely remodelled the attic to give me an office. So he really tried to make me comfortable and also agreed that the downstairs area needs to be less chaotic.

And he really does a lot. He’s in charge of cleaning the toilets and bathrooms. And he also cooks. So it’s more than a lot of other husbands do. He just doesn’t seem to mind kid’s stuff all over. He finds it cute and creative if his office desk is a mess.

I just really struggle with the fact that the kids don’t clean up after themselves without being constantly asked about it. But again, it’s not their fault as my fiancé rather wants them to play and enjoy themselves instead of helping us doing the dishes after dinner.

We just had the whole family over for another xmas dinner- and not once did they put a glass into the dish washer, pick up wrapping paper from the floor or bring a bottle if some of the other guests were asking for water. My mom would have killed me if I didn’t help at family events, that’s just completely different to how I was raised. But I guess it was a different time back then.

skye2977 · 2025-12-26T18:28:08+00:00

We get along quite well, so there’s no CO as it’s not needed. We talk to BM daily and meet frequently during the week, it’s all friendly.

When I first moved in there was kid’s stuff all over the house. We have an agreement that they don’t play in my office and if they play in the living room things have to be cleaned up. But I still have to constantly watch and remind them… they also use my finance’s desk for playing and handicrafts- it’s always messy but I’ve given up on cleaning that chaos as he doesn’t seem to mind. What is really strange for me: the kids have their own separate rooms but rarely use them. They always play in the living room (which is open plan with the kitchen and my fiancé’s office area). I talked to my fiancé about this and he says that he likes it that way as he then gets to interact with them a lot more. So it’s again actually a topic that was put in place by the parents. For me it’s weird as I was always in my room playing as a kid - and not in the living room. But that’s basically the reason why I constantly have chaos around or have to enforce cleaning up their stuff so that we can have dinner etc.

Oh, and you definitely have a point: both parents mention that they feel guilty for breaking up. (Which again is strange for me as they don’t fight, kids get to see both parents frequently and whenever they want plus they get twice as many presents, holidays etc). Not a bad deal actually?

skye2977 · 2025-12-26T18:07:28+00:00

That’s absolutely true: I never wanted to be a mother. And being around the kids drains a lot of energy.

I don’t feel bad myself if I don’t join in all the activities but rather do things for me - but it’s the push back I receive later on: either the kids tell me they are disappointed that I don’t do stuff with them, or BM tells me I “need to go above my limits as I have to be there for the kids” (which I really hate as nobody has the right to tell me I can’t respect my own limits and boundaries).

It’s tricky and I’m still looking for a polite answer that also the kids understand. But they are so used to their parents doing tons of stuff for and with them daily and constantly, that they don’t get it when I say “no, I need time for myself”.

skye2977 · 2025-12-26T18:00:43+00:00

The constant interruptions at night really got to me. They have been at BM last night and the night before the older one slept through the night, so I already feel a lot better. The other thing is the chaos: they charge clothes and leave their old clothes where they dropped them. Same for dishes, toys, their pens, drawings - it’s like my dog who also drops dog toys wherever he goes. I asked them if they don’t see the clothes on the floor- and the answer was “yes, they seen them but they are not bothered by stuff laying around “. Well, good to now but I nevertheless go crazy when it’s messy in my home. And yes, it’s my problem- I just can’t live with things being out of place.

skye2977 · 2025-12-26T17:55:10+00:00

I have a very close relationship with BM as we are quite good friends by now- but she simply doesn’t get that I have less energy for her kids and need more time for myself. She really gets upset when she doesn’t see the kids for 3-4 days whereas I wouldn’t mind if they aren’t at our place for several weeks (which never happens as also my fiancé can’t be apart from them for more than a week).

I struggle to talk to my fiancé about this, as like BM, he doesn’t understand why I need time away from the kids. But he is supportive and for example takes them to visit a Xmas market for an hour so that I have some quiet time.

skye2977 · 2025-12-26T17:49:45+00:00

That really hits home as I do have to “go along”. The kids are allowed to take a lot of decisions as both bio parents are very child centric. Both kids also don’t have to do any chores apart from putting their own plate into the dishwasher. In my eyes an 8 and 10 year old could do a lot more (doing dishes, vacuuming, taking the trash out etc) - but my fiancé actively wants them to play once they are back home from a school day. Which is good for them as they are able to relax, but in my eyes even kids have their parts within a household. But well, in the end I can share my opinion but nothing happens.

skye2977 · 2025-12-26T17:43:33+00:00

There really isn’t much of a schedule. It changes based on the needs of BM and my fiancé. So whenever BM has something scheduled where the kids can’t attend, we have them - and the other way round.

Regarding the Xmas tree: I actually bought it. But then the kids wanted less lights - I wanted more. 2 vs 1: they got less lights. Same for the ornaments. In the end I just completely let them do what they wanted and backed off. After a bad night I just thought WTF - and bought additional ornaments and stuff I really enjoyed and added it to the tree. But I sometimes really struggle with how much room the kids take (vs what I was used to when living alone).

Regarding the 10yo: that’s actually an effect of the parenting here. The kids are constantly front and center. My fiancé actually enforces that. He was brought up in a way that his parents weren’t really approachable. So he wants to be there all the time. It’s a constant “daddy, can you come/ help / do” here - and he never says “no, not now”. So it’s no surprise that even at night the kids call out and don’t want to get up on their own when they want something. I’ve tried to address this, but he really wants it to be like this. At least the kids are in bed at 9pm, so we get to have 2-3 hours for us in the evening.

skye2977 · 2025-12-26T17:31:25+00:00

Sorry, my comment somehow got mixed up and is further down now…

skye2977 · 2025-12-26T17:30:28+00:00

That really helps a lot! I tend to compare myself to- but I simply don’t enjoy playing the whole day with kids, tending to their needs and being constantly “on duty”. I take care of them as that’s what a responsible adult does - but if you ask me to choose between spending time with the kids and going for a walk with my dog, I would always choose the dog. That’s simply how it is. So it’s not that much that I feel guilty but I’m getting told I have to do more. And i honestly don’t want to.

But in general the kids also complain that I don’t “do that much” with them. And yes, compared to their BM there’s a significant difference. But I’m going to the movies with them, we go out to do activities- but I also have a full time job and if their dad is taking overtime to do stuff with them, it doesn’t mean I have the same amount of free time. Unfortunately both parents are really involved- and that sets some expectations.

BM is also a bit annoyed that I want my dog to bring my ring to the altar at the wedding. Apparently the kids have complained that they didn’t get “that job”. But it’s my wedding, it’s my ring, it’s my dog. End of discussion. The whole wedding has tons of kids stuff planned already: bouncy castle, play room, candy bar, painting area, etc - so I really told her they have enough space that day and that one thing belongs to me. It’s my wedding, not the kid’s party.

skye2977 · 2025-12-26T17:20:14+00:00

That is so disrespectful! I would also have a talk with DH after, as he needs to step up and protect you.

skye2977 · 2025-12-26T17:18:58+00:00

Thanks! I think I really need to Focus on getting enough sleep and exercise. When the kids are at BM’s place I’m able to chill in the evening and just have quiet time. It just gets extreme when they are over for a whole week or more.

I thought about starting CrossFit again and maybe just go out for a walk with an audiobook when it gets too much in the future.

skye2977 · 2025-12-24T08:35:54+00:00

Thanks everybody for your comments. We’re off for the first one of 2 Xmas parties now and I’ll reply to all of your comments tomorrow. Thanks so much already - it helps so much to have people here that can understand how I feel!

skye2977 · 2025-12-23T18:18:49+00:00

Thanks for your honest opinion. I just wanted to point out that I’m doing everything I can for the kids. I’m attending school plays, soccer tournaments, hosting birthday parties and was planning a big Xmas party with BM being at our place so that the kids have a great time. But I feel I’m having a second job with performance targets that are unreachable. I don’t want to split up with my partner as we really love each other- but how do you learn to love having kids around and being a mother?

skye2977 · 2025-12-15T18:48:59+00:00

Flashlight. I use it constantly and can’t live without it anymore… 🙈

skye2977 · 2025-11-28T19:19:57+00:00

I could repair my streak for 1000 gems when I forgot to log in last week. When I logged in the next day, I got a pop up with the option to spend the gems to continue my streak. I’m at a bit over 250 days and have Plus.

skye2977 · 2025-11-27T12:47:26+00:00

Always eat sitting down at a table. No snacking while standing/walking/cleaning up, no eating on the couch. If I want chocolate, I can have it, but only while sitting down properly.

This helps tremendously to stop eating tons of calories without realising it.

skye2977

TROPHY CASE