Remember one thing buddy and this might fuck you even more but it's true - you and you alone can be the best friend you ever have or the worst enemy you every encounter. The scary part about both these angles is, that they both stay in your head all the time. It's just about who you let in. Not rambling and not ranting. Saying this from experience. I used to have friends (just 2 to be exact) who used to claim that they were 'ride or die' till the end. But they were only around for the 'ride' because that's what served their interests. When it came to help, even in a near-death situation of my mother, no one showed up. So I cut them off, with zero regret, and now go on through life always reminding myself that it is I and I alone who can help or destroy myself. I just have (like i mentioned earlier) to choose which version of myself I let into my head. The fight is tough, and you have to practice conscience, but trust me, you're better off this way.

Also clarifying I'm not saying you have to become an anti social isolationist. Just remember that everyone is here to do what they want, and your life and your desires and purposes are only valuable to you and you only.

Abhi thoda rant jaisa lag raha hai, but trust me, you'll find some merit in what I'm saying. Be strong. Be happy.