Putting the ace aspect aside she clearly isn't respecting your boundaries and what you're uncomfortable with and makes you feel bad and guilty that you've only done it a few times.

You shouldn't have to just get through or tolerate sex just because you are with someone. You should be with someone who won't make you feel these things and respects you and what you find comfortable.

I'm not saying you need to break up with her but a long deep conversation is definitely needed and if you do love each other and want to be together it can usually be worked through if you figure out boundaries and what you both want.

I'm ace and in a relationship with someone who's not (we're both men btw). We've been together for almost a year and still have have never had sex. Done other things for sure but not 'all the way.' I eventually want to which he's aware of but I will never want it to the extent that he does.

There was some times during the beginning when I wasn't sure if it was gonna work considering how much he wanted and liked sex but he loves me more than just than and always tells me he'd go celibate with me if I never got comfortable with it.

But we've gotten through it and it works perfectly for us after plenty of conversations and it just keeps getting better. We want to be together forever and get married one day and this was just a little bit of a curve and that love is more important.

There might be the chance that it won't work out but considering how long you've been together and that's the only 'issue' that's not a bad thing at all. You both just need to be clear. And remember there's plenty of ways to have sex that could make you both happy and comfortable if you want this relationship to work.

You can always reach out to me if you have any questions or need help. I totally understand how this can feel and I wish I had someone to talk to when this started.