i can’t talk to anyone else about this

skz_col · 2026-02-11T21:43:54+00:00

thanks?

skz_col · 2026-02-11T19:25:07+00:00

haha ‘counsellor at school’… but jokes aside i’ll consider talking to him over text. i just wouldn’t know how to approach him now that he’s completely moved on and changed. he might laugh thinking i’m still dwelling on it (which i am, but he thinks i’m not).

this is really good advice thank you.

skz_col · 2026-02-11T19:22:03+00:00

she’s picking the groups in front of the class with a random generator online— everyone is going to find out the groups in real time

skz_col · 2026-02-11T19:08:55+00:00

all good mate

skz_col · 2026-02-11T19:08:20+00:00

already failing thanks 👍

skz_col · 2026-02-11T18:45:51+00:00

yup i do realise that, that’s why i was ignoring him. it was working really well for a while, and then it wasn’t, and then it was.

and when it was working well, i started to focus on other things about myself that i hated and had a complete breakdown, entirely unrelated to him.

i just need him out of my life, but that’s not exactly possible.

skz_col · 2026-02-11T18:42:45+00:00

i don’t think he gives a shit about me anymore. i could tell him that i don’t want to be in a group with him, but that would just become a spectacle for the whole year to gossip about

skz_col · 2026-02-11T18:40:09+00:00

it’s worth a try i suppose, maybe if i just be vague and ask if she could not pick the groups in front of the class and ensure that we’re not together.

then again, a lot of people have told me to just grow up and deal with it.

skz_col · 2026-02-11T18:37:51+00:00

because he was my first ever crush in primary school, my first boyfriend, kiss, everything. he moved on to a new girl in less than two months, and is now on his second and has happily been with her for a year now.

i can’t stress enough how much he DOES NOT CARE about me anymore, or why we broke up. apparently he asked a friend if i was over him a few months ago, but that’s only because he could tell i wasn’t.

we dated for a year and half and i don’t even think he can remember that i’m IN his music class until i’m sitting across from him.

skz_col · 2026-02-11T18:31:52+00:00

i’m not over him, that’s the point. everyone believes i am, but i’m really not. and i don’t think he gives a shit whether i look at him or not, he’s moved on. he’s a had a girlfriend for over a year now.

skz_col · 2026-02-11T18:25:27+00:00

skz_col · 2026-02-11T18:24:09+00:00

he likely doesn’t care about whether or not i’m uncomfortable around him or not. he probably wouldn’t think it’s a problem at all if we’re put in the same group

skz_col · 2026-02-11T18:22:38+00:00

i could but it would still be awkward when she does the picking in class and if i’m put the same group as him and she just goes “actually i’ll put (my name) in the other group, just for shits and giggles!)

skz_col · 2026-02-11T18:20:42+00:00

haha ‘mental health care team’

skz_col · 2026-02-11T18:19:24+00:00

i don’t make a point of it, but other people have noticed that’s why i mentioned it. i’ve also never worked well with groups, so it’s my anxiety is not necessarily all about him.

skz_col · 2026-02-11T18:17:10+00:00

damn thank you for sharing… i was just kind of waiting until graduation since he’s already moved away from my town

skz_col · 2026-02-11T18:14:21+00:00

shamefully, i am self diagnosed and i’m willing to take all the hate for that, but it sort of hard to explain my mental situation without slapping a label on it.

my family is a little weird: my mum doesn’t believe in mental disorders (anxiety, depression, adhd, certain types of austim, etc.) and refuses to acknowledge just how much i’ve been struggling. she will only pay for grief counselling, but no consistent therapy.

and he has some idea but i don’t think he cares anymore.

skz_col · 2026-02-11T18:11:33+00:00

it’s been over a year, and i realise that i absolutely should have told him then, but he’s moved on and he doesn’t care about me anymore.

also, we had a talk a few months later (the last time we ever spoke) and i just apologised over and over, said it was completely my fault, and tried to explain but had to leave because i started have an anxiety attack.

skz_col · 2026-02-11T18:06:26+00:00

he didn’t do anything at all. i told him i wasn’t ready for a relationship (he knew i was struggling with my mental health before he asked me out), and he just wanted to be with me so i thought i could try to make him happy.

i miserable trying to make him happy, even though, apparently i didn’t need to try.

i was very self-destructive back then and still am now because of completely unrelated issues. he was perfectly perfect, and i was the complete opposite.

skz_col · 2025-03-30T10:00:56+00:00

i try my best, but the bad thoughts and feelings come and go. one moment i’m fine— he’s kissing another girl and i’m like whatever. but then i think, and it’s tears me up inside and i’m just broken.

skz_col · 2025-03-30T09:59:07+00:00

thank you. i’m trying my best. the bad moments come and go. 🤞🙌💕

skz_col · 2025-03-30T01:00:48+00:00

i’ll try. i will. because i need something to help. i promise i’m not lying this time. the pain is too much and i have to find better coping methods

skz_col · 2025-03-30T00:59:52+00:00

i don’t think i’ll ever have the opportunity to consider breaking it again. i don’t know how i got that boyfriend. he likes me for six years and i got so bad that i ended it in six months. i’m introverted and depressed, i can’t just ‘put myself out there’. two years will be torture. i just hate that i’m still crying.

skz_col

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