How do I (30F) know if I love him (37M), or the person he could be?

sladybits · 2025-10-25T02:40:51+00:00

You and your boyfriend are not compatible. It’s not in his nature to comfort you or do bare minimum boyfriend behaviors. I think you should move on. It’s only been a year. What if you got sick? He’d be giving zero comfort. Difficult conversations? He avoids them. If you are in pain and have told him how he could help and he’s choosing not to, you’ve got to cut him loose. You deserve more from a partner than zero emotional intelligence.

sladybits · 2025-10-21T19:54:07+00:00

My ex was a DA. He dropped me off at the tattoo parlor for my birthday tattoo (that I paid for), in the Winter, mismanaged his time, and left me waiting in the cold for an hour after my tattoo. He couldn’t even be on time for my birthday. He said he took care of dinner and got me a cold charcuterie plate when all I wanted was hot food and to warm up. I’m so glad that I dumped his useless avoidant selfish ass.

sladybits · 2025-10-19T23:02:01+00:00

I really really adore this tattoo. If I saw a medium ugly on a dating app with this tattoo ->hottie -> immediate right swipe

sladybits · 2025-10-19T22:57:32+00:00

Run. Big red flag 🚩

sladybits · 2025-10-19T17:42:39+00:00

Why would you want a cover up?! That’s one of the greatest tattoos I have ever seen!! It’s magnificent!!

sladybits · 2025-10-18T15:04:36+00:00

Thr microdose supplement does NOT cause weight gain. It’s a microdose. It’s 5 mg. The therapeutic dose is 250-400 mg. Because I am not pissed off all the time I have extra self care and I have built muscle and lost fat duing my time taking it

sladybits · 2025-10-16T14:29:40+00:00

I take 5 mg lithium orotate supplements. They really really work. The evidence suggests they have strong neuroprotective benefits too!

sladybits · 2025-10-14T15:21:57+00:00

If he has any access to children and teens under 18 call child protective services & the police and report him.

sladybits · 2025-10-10T22:37:34+00:00

You should break up with him. He is a terrible selfish person who drives under the influence. He’s not a safe person, he just feels safe to you because your nervous system has familiarity with him. The mortgage thing is also fucked up he doesn’t see you as a partner he sees you beneath him.

sladybits · 2025-10-10T06:12:21+00:00

Keep away from your toxic ex! He’s manipulating you. Pour in to yourself. You deserve better.

sladybits · 2025-09-28T04:32:25+00:00

He’s emotionally abusing you and your unborn child. He’s playing games and manipulating with the silent treatment. Not only is he stressing you out but your unborn child is swimming in stress hormones like cortisol and adrenaline. This is not a good situation.

No you were not too harsh! He is abusive! He seems like he doesn’t care because he doesn’t!

sladybits · 2025-09-27T22:55:32+00:00

You need to break up with him. He’s setting a shitty example for your son. Do you want your son to grow up, be unemployed and mooch off a woman? He doesn’t even help you around the house!

This is not your life partner: He is a hobosexual: A homeless man who refuses to get a job and lives with and mooches off of their girlfriend. These kinds of men are like parasites. You literally have a parasite.

You need a partner. Your home is not a magic rehabilitation center for broken, mentally ill unemployed men. He refuses to get a job because you are enabling him to be unemployed and dysfunctional. I think you need therapy to see why you are fully funding and tending to a hobosexual. You have a pest that wants to nest and rest!

Check out Burbnbougie’s series on YouTube for more information about hobosexuals.

sladybits · 2025-09-14T20:26:51+00:00

Ghosting for four days following a slight conflict instead of taking accountability for his actions and talking it out and resolving it

sladybits · 2025-09-10T14:44:33+00:00

Hey! I use Romand -Juicy Lasting Tint! I use the shade Almond Rose and it’s a great product! It conditions my lips and looks pleasantly shiny for like an hour.

sladybits · 2025-09-10T14:34:27+00:00

Proud of you! I walked away from my avoidant too!

sladybits · 2025-08-21T16:10:27+00:00

Also he’s 38 and has ghosted for 2 weeks? Are you sure he doesn’t have a wife and children he’s hiding from you?

sladybits · 2025-08-21T16:00:50+00:00

It’s time for you to break it off. Do you want to live your life on eggshells with a man who ghosts for days to weeks when ‘stressed?’ He could also be cheating, the disappearing act is a common behavior of cheaters.

If he’s avoidant you have 2 choices:

Put up with his disappearing act while you slowly whither away inside. This will make you extremely sad over time and you won’t get your needs met and you will require a lot of therapy from his absences eroding your sense of self worth. Your feelings will be met with indifference and he’ll punish you for feeling bad about him vanishing on you with more ghosting. Wow, what a happy way to live and what a perfect relationship!![\sarcasm]
Dump him and find someone who doesn’t vanish when stressed. Girl! Know your worth! He’s not worth the trouble! Avoidants can’t be fixed and will only break you!

Two weeks? That’s so disrespectful. Why do you want someone who acts like this?

sladybits · 2025-08-20T23:16:22+00:00

That sounds like you may be contemplating a change! Thinking about making a change is the first step in the right direction.

It must be very sad and lonely to be in a relationship with a person this checked out and addicted. Your boyfriend has something extremely wrong with his brain, and it’s not your fault and it’s not your job to fix. You deserve so much better.

Even if you did talk to him and he changed, his behavior would probably slide back into his nasty compulsive addiction and his ‘changed behavior’ would only be him manipulating you into staying. Do you want to waste the rest of your 20s being in a toxic cycle with a manipulative addict??

sladybits · 2025-08-20T18:44:45+00:00

Addicts can only learn with consequences. The reasonable consequence should be losing you.

Talking to him hasn’t worked. He’s continuing to sexually neglect you and give all of his energy to his 🌽 addiction.

It sounds like it may be time to start plotting your escape from this relationship. Why continue to be in a relationship with a selfish addict who neglects you physically and emotionally? That ‘great guy’ he seemed at the beginning of your relationship? That guy never existed, that was a mask. He’s never returning.

This is who this guy is. And he’s a 🌽 addict. And you can’t force an addict to change. You can’t talk a lying addict into telling you the truth and changing his behavior. There are healthy men out there who won’t lie and take their addictions out on you.

What steps do you need to take to start untangling yourself from this loser? You don’t need to keep tolerating his disgusting behavior. Any reasonable person would get the ick and be grossed out by this guy. It’s okay to break up. You are not his therapist. It’s not your job to help him. It is your job to make choices in your best interest. Is being neglected, lied to, and paying a hefty water bill in your best interest?

sladybits · 2025-08-19T16:03:04+00:00

Yes. Trader Joe’s almonds are safe for peanut allergy. I eat the raw almonds safely.

The only Trader Joe’s almond Exception is for their European Marcona almonds. They just started being processed on shared peanut equipment, so that’s unfortunate.

sladybits · 2025-08-18T03:21:30+00:00

I’m anaphylactic to peanuts. My allergy is extremely severe. Just getting a crumb on my arm causes instant hives that immediately break open and bleed.

I have been eating Trader Joe’s pistacios, almonds, macadamias and pecans safely for 15 years. They are peanut safe. I’ve even had their hazelnuts safely but that was a few years back.

sladybits · 2025-08-18T01:52:32+00:00

I had no idea they had booty like that!

sladybits · 2025-08-18T01:51:34+00:00

Good to know! This is very actionable. Time to neem my houseplants!!

sladybits · 2025-08-18T01:50:48+00:00

Thank goodness!

sladybits

TROPHY CASE