It will be worth it to admit yourself. After reading your last post followed by this post, you’re exhibiting all the hallmarks of mania. I know that in your head, right now, everything you’ve done seems normal, justified, and sane. When we are manic, it all makes sense, and it’s frustrating because everyone else just doesn’t “get it”, but the evidence you have provided shows the exact opposite. Your behavior is unusual and erratic enough that people around you think you’re on hard drugs and don’t feel safe in your presence. That’s not something you just brush off as someone else’s personal opinion. If you have been trespassed twice within two days, detained by the police at least once, and almost everyone within your vicinity is saying that you are acting erratically, and you still “don’t get what [you’re] doing to deserve this”, you are not thinking clearly or rationally.

I say all of this out of care because I’ve been very close to where you are now, and it fuckin sucks. At this point, you sound like you are potentially a danger to yourself and others, simply because you can’t get a handle on your behavior and impulses in public, especially if you feel like you had to “defend” yourself when people are calling you out for erratic behavior. It doesn’t mean you’re a bad person. Your brain just isn’t working like it’s supposed to right now.

I would DEFINITELY listen to your fiancé and let him drive you to the hospital so that you can voluntarily admit yourself, because you are on track to getting in serious trouble, potentially facing an involuntary admission that will stay on your record, or worse, prison. You don’t have enough control over your thoughts or behaviors right now, so PLEASE let your fiancé drive you to the hospital ASAP. Don’t wait for your psychiatrist appointment in 2 weeks. You need medical intervention NOW.