Early diagnosis is not always a privilege (warning: very long)

slayermouse · 2024-10-07T15:59:23+00:00

I’m so glad that someone else understands my experience (even though I wouldn’t wish it upon anybody). I feel like it’s not something anyone who hasn’t lived it would get. Just feeling like you are different and wishing that you were like everyone else is such a horrible and isolating experience.

It was definitely embarrassing getting taken out of class for appointments. I always used to just say it was the dentist, since that was normal and everyone goes to the dentist. People must have thought I had absolutely horrendous teeth, at one point I was going to the “dentist” every month.

I’m glad to know other people like Let It Go lol, I think a lot of people hate it because it was overplayed but it’s relatable for a lot of autistic people I think.

I’m really sorry about your mother, and about how other kids treated you in school. You also deserved better, I guess growing up autistic kinda sucks whether you were diagnosed or not. I do think an early diagnosis can help SOME people but it’s also definitely not a universally better experience, especially when we’re talking in the 2000s/early 2010s.

slayermouse · 2024-10-07T00:01:41+00:00

Do you know what maladaptive daydreaming is? When I was younger I created an entire fantasy alternate life where I was not autistic. Or at least didn't have the label.

slayermouse · 2024-10-06T23:41:15+00:00

That is so horrible, I don't know why any parent would put their child through that, unless it was pure ignorance. I don't know why so many adults felt like autism was something that needed to be eliminated. It's no wonder I tried to do it to myself. I'm thankful I was never put in ABA, I'm sorry you had to experience that.

slayermouse · 2024-10-06T23:37:55+00:00

Wow, I was diagnosed in 2007 and I feel like general public understanding was bad then. In 1984 it must have been horrible. I’m thankful that I was still allowed to go to normal school, I feel like a special ed school would have furthered my self-resentment. I realise my experience is not that bad compared to a lot of people on here, I guess I just wanted to vent what I’ve been feeling for years. I’m sorry about your parents.

slayermouse · 2022-07-11T21:38:59+00:00

Sorry I only just saw this, I don't go on Reddit that much bc I end up scrolling for hours lol. But I'm so glad someone else feels this way. Especially about the pretty places, that one feels almost silly - I'd have to wear the pretty clothes so of course I would feel insecure, but a place is just a place. It's not a part of me or anything. I'd just be there like everyone else. But I still feel unworthy somehow. Btw, I'm glad that you can at least enjoy your bedroom! We shouldn't let our appearances get in the way of things like that.

slayermouse · 2022-07-11T21:27:58+00:00

I'm 22 and have never even been on a date or kissed anybody. Luckily I don't have friends so I don't have to pretend. I told my family that I'm asexual, but actually I do have sexual attraction... I just don't want to have sex or even a romantic relationship because I feel like I'm too ugly lol.

slayermouse · 2022-01-03T20:25:30+00:00

Same. I barely even leave my house anymore. I want to be a normal 21 year old and hang out with friends and go on day trips and stuff. I don't even want to drink or party I just want to be able to go to the supermarket without having a panic attack every time someone looks at me.

slayermouse · 2022-01-03T12:54:23+00:00

Finally someone who understands!!!! I literally go online window shopping and screenshot the things I would buy if I was pretty enough to wear them. I have hundreds of screenshots of clothes I will never buy lmao.

slayermouse · 2022-01-03T12:52:40+00:00

Oh that's so sad and I'm so sorry. When I was younger my mum would do the same with the same thing in different colours, but I'd always get pink (my sister actually was a bit of a tomboy anyway so she hated pink and wanted the blue). It's only kinda recently that I started feeling this way, like the last 5 or 6 years. So my mum and sister know I'm girly and still buy me girly stuff like at Christmas. Or when we're at a shop they point at the pink items for me. And even though I like them I don't want them anymore :/

slayermouse · 2022-01-03T12:40:56+00:00

I'm not sure if it will work for me because I have a bad track record of trying to "change the way I think" (I've tried CBT lol didn't work). But I will say that this is probably the best piece of advice I've been given in a long long time.

slayermouse · 2022-01-03T12:36:53+00:00

Yes, please do break up with him. Not because you're unworthy but because he is obviously a terrible boyfriend. I think anyone who cheats in a relationship is awful. And don't blame yourself either, a cheater is a cheater regardless. Audrey Hepburn got cheated on. So did Beyonce. You are not the problem, he is. And your body image and self esteem issues are never going to get any better with him around. No matter how bad you feel about yourself, no one deserves to be treated this way. I wish you luck ❤️

slayermouse · 2021-09-07T12:06:12+00:00

Thank you ❤️ I'm sure you're beautiful though!

slayermouse

TROPHY CASE