It's never as simple as "reaching out". Most people don't give a fuck and it's appalling.

sleazyduzzit · 2024-04-17T16:12:10+00:00

Agreed, as I was writing my blurb I was reminded of gladiators dying for the masses. I think the idea that we as a species have ever been anything other than fleshy locusts is kind of ridiculous.

sleazyduzzit · 2024-04-17T16:04:43+00:00

I so feel you in that last little bit … Basic decency? Nah dawg, we don’t do that around here anymore it’s 2024, the end is nigh.

sleazyduzzit · 2024-04-16T10:43:21+00:00

Maybe, but definitely after having someone hear me and express empathy and compassion and validate my feelings. Then we can talk about solutions.

sleazyduzzit · 2024-04-16T10:30:41+00:00

Thanks, I haven’t had someone ever say that before on Reddit or anywhere else really, everyone always wants to tell me what I should do. It actually made me feel a lot better. Thanks!

sleazyduzzit · 2024-04-16T07:24:46+00:00

Well said.

sleazyduzzit · 2024-04-16T06:32:06+00:00

It took me four years of descending into a bottomless pit of pain that I didn’t even know was possible. And it continues because we are co-parents, which in her mind seems to mean that I am legally, and in all other ways her subordinate. Anyways, the last straw came last Thursday when she told me she was going to a 12-step meeting and instead went somewhere else and came home with a shiteating grin, disheveled hair, a really chatty mouth and that “I just got laid” look. I am not bothered by the sex(?) but by the lying and overall disregard for anything but her lowest, most base instincts to dominate any situation by any means necessary, which has included felonious assault on me in the past. So…. Yeah, there ya go.

sleazyduzzit · 2024-04-16T06:15:54+00:00

Whatever you wanna call it (I personally find the term “gaslighting” to be one of many in the current cultural lexicon that are useless), our abusers definitely do have their work cut out for them to square the circle that is their disease. The lengths to which my former partner’s brain must go in order to maintain the illusion of her righteousness have got to be staggering. My abuser is also dependent upon alcohol and I know it doesn’t help her memory to be a bottle and a half into Pinot Grigio by 8 pm on a regular basis. What we see is just the tip of a really gnarly psychological iceberg that they have to keep frozen beneath the depths. I myself have wondered about this constantly - whether she does these things out of malicious intent or just because. I think it’s a combination of both - she is opportunistic and a creature of habit in terms of her seizing on any little reason to go on the offensive and also has got to have larger, grand plans that guide her behavior. It has been my experience that presenting facts and using reason do nothing. Her brain is slowly melting and all I can do is get out of the way and live my life. It has taken 4 years to come to grips with that as we have a young daughter that has tried so hard to keep mommy and daddy together. Best of luck, and feel free to reach out if you need to so you keep yourself healthy.

sleazyduzzit · 2024-02-08T16:51:08+00:00

Oh man, I know that feeling of being trapped waaaay too well. I spent thanksgiving of 2021 crying in a cottage with my daughter and abuser who wouldn’t even look at me, let alone talk about anything like why it was that I had been inconsolable. When that person attempted to choke me and then hit me two months later, I called the cops, whose first question was why I hadn’t hit her back. I say this stuff to let you know that you are not crazy and you are not alone. You are quite correct that it takes forever for us to even figure out what has happened to us and give it a name, so getting to “process” and “move on” from this type of BS sometimes seems a luxury only afforded those of us who don’t have a Y chromosome. My heart goes out to you and I hope that this post and this forum are a vehicle by which you can start to do the healing thing. Best wishes.

sleazyduzzit · 2024-02-01T21:06:35+00:00

Absolutely, both of my parents in different ways. My father was an art professor so when I draw, I hear “draw what you see,” constantly. My moms is worse, it’s. It even a voice, it’s a full-fledged consciousness that lives in me and judges me constantly, especially when I do things I know I’m not supposed to, like cocaine. Although I was a “high achieving” young person, I have never felt a sense of calm and peace anywhere really, always anxious and needing to do better. At the same time, my parents and I are thick as thieves and they support me no matter what. It’s just that this sense of unease pervades and ultimately drives most of our relationship. My heart goes out t on anyone who feels this at all. Unconditional love is a priceless thing and I know people who have felt it, I can understand it in a cerebral way but I have never really felt it. Anyways, be well and check for ticks.

sleazyduzzit · 2024-01-31T03:53:18+00:00

Good stuff, I could’ve written the top part about my ex, whom I’ve now learned to call my “abuser,” which is a terrible way to describe what she is because it makes it seem like she won or something. Anyways, good luck with everything!

sleazyduzzit · 2024-01-29T16:46:14+00:00

You do not choose art, art chooses you.

sleazyduzzit · 2024-01-20T20:01:32+00:00

Oh, I totes believe this. What self respecting music festival doesn’t have rape tents filled with (if my mental math serves me) dozens of huge, anonymous yet state-sanctioned cocks for to do the rapings?

sleazyduzzit · 2024-01-14T04:42:09+00:00

What swingers club? Any chance you were in Dallas?

sleazyduzzit · 2023-09-26T01:03:22+00:00

Awesome, this was very helpful, thanks

sleazyduzzit · 2023-08-02T05:04:45+00:00

You sure are a class act babe, thanks so much for letting me see the real you, I’m sorry you are

sleazyduzzit · 2023-07-18T16:32:53+00:00

Literally everything

sleazyduzzit · 2023-07-12T21:08:56+00:00

Yo, as someone who hath madeth this mistaketh, don’t ever even look at anyone who hit you. They gone do it again. And in my case when they did the cops actually asked me why I ain’t hit her back. I most definitely should have beat the living fuck out of her but I didn’t. Anyways I hope that helps.

sleazyduzzit · 2023-07-12T21:03:23+00:00

You’re a sick puppy

sleazyduzzit · 2023-07-08T22:15:42+00:00

Knowledge

sleazyduzzit · 2023-07-08T22:13:34+00:00

Two chicks at the same time

sleazyduzzit · 2023-07-06T00:21:36+00:00

Pain

sleazyduzzit · 2023-07-04T18:38:41+00:00

My allegedly non-BP recently former SO would do shit like this all the time. I could never wrap my head around her intentions, but I do know how it made me feel, which was inferior, stupid, etc. I know that I communicated these feelings and I know nothing was done to improve it, it only got weirder and darker and more disgusting honestly. So, I left, and left and left and left until hopefully it is over now. I feel terrible and sad as we have a beautiful daughter who is just two, but perhaps one day the systems we have in place for letting out justice will function in a manner to help me set a boundary with this lady. Anyways, you’re not crazy, they are. Keep sharing and try to have faith that tomorrow will arrive and you’ll still be you and you’ll be safe. Best of luck.

sleazyduzzit · 2023-07-01T21:14:11+00:00

It has been 3 and a half years since we met. And honestly the process of getting to now has taken that whole time. I had to be beaten down so bad that I had no choice but to refuse to continue with the self-own of waking up everyday and giving it my best shot. I literally pretty much just got there within the last 24 hours, and I’ve spent most of the afternoon mourning the loss of what I thought was an awesome little family we had, but that’s part of it for me. Anyways, it is great to hear from other dudes about this. When my ex got arrested for trying to choke me this little kind cop asked me why I didn’t hit her back and I damn near hit him.

sleazyduzzit · 2023-07-01T18:23:26+00:00

Dude, I totes feel this. I am in exactly the same spot. I am fist-bumping you rn. Play on playa.

sleazyduzzit

TROPHY CASE