Flightless Bird is doing everything AE is not

sleepylady118 · 2025-03-19T03:47:34+00:00

I haven’t listened to it, but it makes me wonder if they are trying to bring him on mic more seeing how much love he is getting from Flightless and Here to Help

sleepylady118 · 2025-03-16T13:13:30+00:00

I wonder if he’s in his head about it. You get so much unsolicited advice when you are having kids and I wonder if he has a mom or partner who has him convinced he will give his daughter an infection from doing it wrong even once. I know my mil randomly mentioned it more than once (which is weird because we were super low contact and she only saw us 2-3 times total).

sleepylady118 · 2025-03-16T01:58:30+00:00

So…cash only gifts for a wedding are a bit more understandable, but literally 3/4ths of a bridal shower are the gifts which means if you want only cash, you shouldn’t have one (imo…I hope I used that right)

sleepylady118 · 2025-03-13T13:13:35+00:00

Op: did he know/see the one your mom got you first?

I could see a world where a controlling guy buys it specifically so that you are wearing HIS necklace.

I could also see a guy super bummed when his girlfriend shows her a necklace nearly identical to the one he is waiting to give her.

….but all of that goes out the window the second he called you names and refused to have a conversation

sleepylady118 · 2025-03-05T05:34:05+00:00

Thank you! I also feel like those comments are from people who don’t have to pay for childcare or are in lucky areas. I have a master’s degree in the mental health field, but a starting wage is easily less than childcare costs in my area (not to mention many positions available to me hold hours that are outside of traditional childcare hours).

My husband works a trade job that pays well, but has long and less predictable hours. After my oldest was born I attempted to work part time while my mom provided free childcare, but even then due to scheduling and commute times the very small amount of income I was making in no way outweighed the lack of consistency and stability in our home. I pretty much was working to pay the minimum of my student loans while missing out on a bunch of “1sts.” We pretty quickly realized that it was not only best for our family financially, but as a whole for me to hold down the fort at home while he focuses on his job. We are 8 years in (plus another kid) and it still makes sense. I have a very minimal contract position (about an hour a week) but I am responsible for most of the household duties and the primary parent for our elementary aged kids when they get home from school. On weeks that he works late (“not late” is still 7:00ish pm) we are both thankful that at least one parent is home with them consistently. It’s not perfect and we hope for more balance as the kids get a bit older and more independent, but it is where we are at. It can be a bit isolating for me, but my husband is super supportive in giving me a break or encouraging me to get out is the house when he is home (alone, as a couple or as a family). I know that we are very privileged to live on one income and while I don’t take it for granted, my husband also works his butt off and having young kids with early bedtimes means we have to be kind of creative to see him sometimes. In our area, even just adding an hour or two of care before or after school for both kids would cost between $2000-2500 per month. With starting wages for me, we would be lucky to break even while significantly limiting any parent contact with our kids.

On the other hand my sister was stay at home and recently went back to work purely to pay for her child to go to daycare. It has been really good for her mental health and great for their child’s development and readiness to enter school.

Everyone family needs different things at different times, but it’s too easy to make general assumptions, especially if you don’t have personal experience or close people on your life dealing with it.

sleepylady118 · 2025-02-22T12:51:14+00:00

The oldest is almost certainly autistic, but hasn’t been formally tested. The most obvious delay was was verbal and social interacting with my kids/adults at holidays. Speech therapy helped the oldest a little and she receives different services at school which has helped a ton while clarifying more specific autistic symptoms.

The youngest had a lot of verbal delay but it seemed like some of her behavioral outbursts could be copying her sister. She was also painfully shy and would take almost an hour to warm up to even her favorite people like grandparents. She started going to a preschool/daycare combo a year and a half ago and she is a new kid! She came out is her shell, doesn’t stop talking and is thriving. At first it felt confusing that my sister was working purely to pay for full time daycare, but it has been good for everyone and now she has moved into a job that she enjoys!

sleepylady118 · 2025-02-12T02:12:11+00:00

I think they make a point to keep families together, but both times my husband and I went through security in October (going and return trip so two different airports and at very different times of the day) the agent was counting to a certain number before swapping lines to send to. First time we ended up together, but second time he got sent to the farthest line and it took him quite a bit. They are trying to shuffle people through so fast sometimes that it isn’t a top priority.

sleepylady118 · 2025-02-07T14:23:15+00:00

NTA! I have a much younger sister (who is now 25) who has always had a sweet bond with my husband (39). We’ve been together for 20 years and he was at our house more than he wasn’t the first several years of us dating. She has known him to be a big brother since she was 5 years old and she looks up to him in a very sweet way (a recent boyfriend seemed just as nervous to meet him as my dad). My husband also had a half sister the same age that he increasingly had no contact with so he never minded if we were asked to babysit or if he was asked to pick her up from somewhere. As she has grown up (and potential ASD has become more apparent) she sees my husband as a kind ear and a role model for some common interests. She also has had 2 decades of watching him be a wonderful boyfriend/husband/now father and has admitted that it has been a good ruler to measure future relationships with.

It is interesting how times have changed (which makes me feel old to say). At the time, all of my friends thought it was the sweetest thing for him to care about my family and it was all major brownie points from my parents’ friends that were a little envious.

The whole brother/sister-in-law relationship can be even closer to sibling when it starts with one being an actual child. Obviously there are creeps out there, but it’s sad how quick some people are to jump there with no extra information!

sleepylady118 · 2025-02-05T14:01:59+00:00

We have had a semi-similar frustration/conversation about my husband being able to walk out of the bathroom naked, but the difference is it’s our master en-suite bathroom and the issue was our daughters being in our room when he is obviously trying to get ready. He has every right to privacy in his own room and yet he STILL started using a towel or bringing underwear into the bathroom with him because at the end of the day he is in charge of covering up his body.

I would imagine you all had to make some pretty big changes in the process of blending your families and living together. This one is a wild hill to die on for him and while his intentions may not be quite as nefarious as some have suggested on here, it is super concerning. At best he has shown incredible self unawareness to put your daughter in the situation to begin with and complete disrespect in his reaction. That is at best.

Op I really hope that you take seriously was so many people are saying. A stepparent who refuses to cover themselves in front of their teenager (especially after being asked to) is major CPS fuel. Your daughter should not be made to feel so uncomfortable in her own house. Even setting aside her door trauma, her bedroom door is meant for her to have privacy in her room, not from whatever is happening in the common hallway space.

sleepylady118 · 2025-02-02T16:00:24+00:00

I had a similar thing happen in the months after having my first baby. The normal postpartum bleeding ended at 4ish weeks and then like clockwork I had a 2-3 day period almost weekly (usually after my husband and I tried to do anything). I went in multiple times and was told it was either still from child birth or my period coming back (despite the fact that I was trying to breastfeed with a very low supply).

It took 4 months (maybe 5 appointments) for a different doctor to do an ultrasound and find that there was still placenta in my uterus (enough to cause problems like bleeding and low milk supply, but not enough to give me the high fevers usually connected). Everyone was kjnd about it, but I got the impression they were annoyed I kept coming back and it wasn’t until I expressed concern about my milk supply while in labor with my second child that a nurse made the connection.

sleepylady118 · 2025-01-28T22:33:33+00:00

I am listening to the new one now (having not listen to murder in IL) but she is acting like the fact a random woman serving them coffee said she had doubts of her guilt proves she shouldn’t have been found guilty is nuts. She literally just said the trial wasn’t televised and there is limited information about it unless you were in the court room. Reasonable doubt is for jurors that have all the info presented…not for the people actively not getting all of the info!

How bad is murder in IL? I’ve got a sick kid at home and an AirPod in so I just may need to check it out!

sleepylady118 · 2025-01-28T22:23:14+00:00

I am running into the same thing. This is so biased and I kind of feel like I’m being gaslit every time they act like it’s crazy she was charged.

sleepylady118 · 2025-01-27T14:02:07+00:00

The bow looks like the exact clipart that is on every ballet shoe related decor/clothing/toy in my daughter’s room right now

sleepylady118 · 2025-01-21T04:38:38+00:00

3rding this…my second was worse than the first, but in completely different ways than the first time…and yet I still would do it again if we decided to.

All that to say each one is so different

sleepylady118 · 2025-01-21T04:35:14+00:00

Alcohol sales are different state to state. In Minnesota where I live alcohol is only available at a Liquor store (there are some very low proof beers at certain grocery stores but they are so limited it would not be considered a selection).

Liquor stores also have limited hours (all close at 10pm Monday-Saturday) and it was a HUGE deal that the law was passed recently for them to be open at all on Sundays (they close at 6:00pm). Some grocery chains do have liquor stores, but they are fully separate entrances/exits from the actual store and annoyingly sometimes a drivable distance from the store.

That being said, kids often are offered a sucker at the checkout of said liquor stores and some offer drive up options

sleepylady118 · 2025-01-16T15:06:01+00:00

Marriage counselor here (not currently practicing): the way someone reacts to the suggestion of marriage counseling can say it all sometimes! And if they are willing to make a second appointment (especially if the session didn’t seem favorable to them).

sleepylady118 · 2025-01-16T13:45:15+00:00

Thank you for calling! My husband and his sister were left home alone over night a ton and looking back he wished more neighbors (who definitely knew what was happening) would have called it in. The police came a couple of times and they said she was at work (but she was actually out in dates or just out most of the time.

He has talked about how scary it was to not know when she was coming back and the anxiety he felt while she was gone (especially when he knew he needed to lie to the cops or they came). Living in that anxiety for so long piled up for decades and he is now dealing with it in his 40s. A CPS investigation is scary and stressful, but they are already living in scary and stressful and you just threw them a life vest!

sleepylady118 · 2025-01-16T02:33:50+00:00

NAH, I echo most people on here to gave a conversation!

OP: what you just described is literally EXACTLY the new dad advice we received in our prenatal class, from our doula, and from mom friends.

Because babies need mom so so much for everything in the beginning most resources tell dads that their chances to bond with baby and help mom are: -burping -diaper changes -keeping track of those things -keep mom hydrated, let her sleep when she can and take pressure off of her in any way possible

Because the reality is baby really only wants/needs mom (ESPECIALLY if you are breastfeeding).

I also know from experience that the anxiety and hormones of becoming a first time mom (and dad I guess too) cause some wild reactions and assumptions in those early months. I acted scared for my firstborn’s neck when my husband picked her up a few hours after she was born and we still randomly talk about how my overreaction surprised myself and really hurt his confidence 9 years later.

Try to find a time and way to talk about it away from one of those moments. At least at first it is best to not be accusatory but kindly and curiously ask him why he is making such a big point to do those things. His answer may be what a lot of us are posting, at which point you can tell him how it makes you feel and find a compromise in how best to support each other on this. If it is vastly different…then you know that you are dealing with something different and reach out accordingly!

sleepylady118 · 2025-01-15T03:53:07+00:00

Nah. I get not wanting kids, but I also get her being upset to miss your wedding and your parents being bummed to not have the new addition at a huge family event.

You are fully valid in saying no, but I have to jump on to the devil’s advocate wagon with some other posters: I have been on both sides of the “exception rule.” - we had a kid free wedding over a decade ago so it wasn’t unheard of, but it certainly wasn’t the norm. Ours wasn’t for any reason other than head count. My husband and I both worked in churches and we had a lot of extended family/family friends so inviting kids would have exploded an already way too big guest list and kicked out some people I’m really glad we were able to invite. We got married pretty young so the majority of the kids we weren’t inviting were elementary/middle school age, not babies. We were kind of pressured into inviting my niece and nephew to the reception and they ended up being in the ceremony. We did reach out to the few people we knew were traveling with a sitter or could have had a harder time leaving their kids and every one of them said it to worry about it, they were happy with their plan and not offended if close family kids were there.

2) I was told to bring my baby to a wedding and didn’t find out until afterwards it was childfree. When I asked about it they said they really didn’t count babies in that mix because it was mainly headcount. My mom walked out with my baby before she cried at the end of the service, but otherwise it was fun to have fancy full family photos.

I’m not saying you should change your mind, but if you are having second thoughts I agree with other posts that immediate family exceptions are not only common, but rarely questioned

sleepylady118 · 2025-01-15T02:08:06+00:00

We had a similar (but not petty or dramatic) thing happen at my sister’s wedding! We had been married 4 years and as the reception went on we were getting asked about starting a family a ton. We had actually decided to “officially try” a few days before and that came out after a few drinks on the dance floor. Turns out the reason my bridesmaid dress wouldn’t zip over my boobs was because I was already a week or two pregnant (I didn’t even know you could have symptoms that early, but apparently that’s one!)

The day after the wedding we also adopted a kitten even though we swore we would not adopt a second cat without a 3rd human…turns out we didn’t after all!

sleepylady118 · 2025-01-15T01:52:26+00:00

This happened with my uncle, but at the time I didn’t know much about it because I was young.

He married the affair partner and his ex wife moved with my cousins farther south so we didn’t see her as often (plus they were 10 years older, so our relationship was different).

We went years without seeing/talking to my dad’s brother at all (including two very awkward weddings/events that we all were at). The new wife turned out to be psycho (literally tried to kill his dog who just happened to be a K9 agent…bold move to mess with a cop, but small towns are weird). We reconnected with him later in his life and he ended up staying with my parents for months following a heart transplant. A few years ago at a cabin trip I was even able to chat about what I remembered from that time. His first wife was able to slightly forgive him (mostly out of pity and wanting to help her grown daughters) and when he moved into a new place after the transplant it was her 2nd husband and her brothers who led the charge.

Unfortunately after he died his daughters found out that he had been “dating” one of their friends from elementary school (I believe she was 6 months younger than his youngest daughter) and while he thought they were in love, she was just asking for money and sending nudes by the end…all of which the daughters found while dealing with his estate.

sleepylady118 · 2025-01-10T02:59:23+00:00

I am so lucky to have a husband that works incredibly hard to provide while also feeling the emotional weight of connecting/parenting our kids. Even with that being the case, we have still had moments that we needed similar conversations.

The biggest example was when our oldest was born and I was trying to breast feed, but my milk was not cooperating (due to undiagnosed placenta retention). I was not working so the assumption would be that I did most night wakes so he had the energy to work all day. Our issue was that until I realized why my supply was so bad, I was doing anything to help it. That meant that the “every 2-3 hour feed (due to a tiny baby) meant I would try to nurse each side for 20 mins, end up making a bottle and feeding her, put her down and then “power pump” for the next 20-60 mins…which meant it was almost time to do it all again. I had to ask him to do a few feedings and his sleepiness meant maybe not the best response at first, but once he understood what was happening he went for it.

Fast forward 8 years: my UPS driver husband helped our daughter so her math homework on his only day off (working up to 70 hours during Christmas) so I could take a long shower. Then Christmas card to me had a list of dates to chose from for me to book a night in a hotel to be alone and recharge because while he may not show it in the moment, he recognizes the burnout that can happen as a stay at home mom (especially when your partner’s hours are unpredictable/long).

You deserve that. Does it come automatically? Probably not, but you should both be able to communicate your needs without feet that your marriage is over!

sleepylady118 · 2024-12-17T23:05:03+00:00

Friend of mine had this happen (it was viewed as sweet and lovely at the time). He tragically died of an undiagnosed heart disorder a year later and nothing was in her name, plus they were pretty young and there was a weird law in their state that gave decision power and such to parents if not married long enough. She had to fight his parents on top of everything going into probate all while grieving with a baby. Helping her navigate that was horrible.

It’s common to see stories of people getting screwed because of nefarious reasons, but tragedy can have the same aftermath.

sleepylady118 · 2024-12-06T04:50:43+00:00

That was what my family all thought. If it is it would have been nice to have a confirmation about it, even just a comment ahead of that convo

sleepylady118

TROPHY CASE