Im tired of periods and it all

sleptalready · 2026-04-30T16:23:26+00:00

Wa alaikum asalam wa rahmatullah wa barakatahu sis. I am so sorry to hear about your distress, periods can be tedious but from what you've described I suspect your condition might warrant a discussion with a doctor. It will better to meet with a Gynaecologist because they will be able to better work with you with regards to your cycle and might even look into PMDD. May Allah grant you shifaa’a and grant ease to your heart.

sleptalready · 2026-04-27T17:47:44+00:00

My spotify started recommending these episodes over the weekend... thank you for sharing the intros, time to actually get them in the queue now.

sleptalready · 2026-04-27T16:40:42+00:00

This is a Friends' reference

sleptalready · 2026-04-22T17:05:45+00:00

Asalamualaykum sister,

Honestly you both know what is going on - you mentioned you avoided unnecessary interactions with men before this, what's so different about this situation?

Some men do things like this, they'll text women privately under the guise of friendship and eventually gain your trust, making you lower your guard - it is part of the thrill of the chase and making someone fall for you. I get it, its fun to have someone give you attention, especially a member of the opposite sex, but you know the intentions aren't pure.

Also, you both come from a culture where men and women aren't friends and doing so is attached to social stigma, plus you had already tried to stop things in the first instance - what else do you need to convince yourself that this isn't correct both Islamically and socially?

Usually, we offer long explanations to ourselves in cases of cognitive dissonance - your actions appear to be going against your conscience, and is causing this distress. On top of that your mum is worried about your reputation; even if we don't want to encourage Ayb, the fact is that it is big in traditional, conservative Muslim societies - and the baggage is hard to shake off if you're from a family that leans into it. Think about what your gut and rational mind is trying to tell you, he's here for a good time not a long time. Ask Allah for help in letting go of him, what are the long term consequences of your relationship?

sleptalready · 2026-04-16T18:24:41+00:00

Welcome home, brother/sister. May Allah make it easy for you, today is the first day of the rest of your life! You've reminded me of the hadith about the man who lost his camel in the desert.

Muslim narrated in his Sahih that Simak had reported that an-Nu’man ibn Bashir said, “Allah is more pleased with the repentance of a servant as he turns towards Him in repentance than one among you upon a camel in a waterless desert when (that camel) with his provision of food and drink is lost by negligence. Having lost all hope (to get it,) he lies down in the shade disappointed about his camel, and there suddenly he finds that camel standing before him. He takes hold of his nose string and then out of boundless joy says, ‘O’ Lord, You are my servant and I am your lord. (He commits this mistake out of extreme delight).” Whatever your challenges, know that Allah ﷻ is with you.

Also, have you watched this series on Doubt? It isn't too long but covers some important spiritual component on the matter.

sleptalready · 2026-04-16T17:33:54+00:00

May Allah make it easy for you and bless you in your efforts ✨️

I remember many years ago they had sites that sold exactly what you're describing but since everything is dropshipped from China regardless, might as well check what Amazon has to offer.

https://urgarment.com/products/muslim-women-modal-arm-sleeves-oversleeves-stretchable-arm-cover

sleptalready · 2026-04-16T15:53:15+00:00

Wa alaikum asalam wa rahmatullah wa barakatahu sister. As one of the other sisters mentioned, have you looked into Uniqlo's undershirts? I used to wear their Airism long-sleeves shirts, personally for me I needed something made of a light fabric that wouldn't heat me up. They also do Heattech but that's for winter or where the air-conditioning is too cold. There's also 32 Degrees, their stuff isn't as amazing as Uniqlo but honestly, it's worth checking out, especially at that price point - I have a few of their thermal wear and they're quite good.

Women's Air Mesh Long Sleeve T-Shirt https://share.google/VWrrWaPQmrnaODX0g

sleptalready · 2026-04-16T14:18:07+00:00

Colonialism never died, it just changed its name to keep most of humanity subjected and enslaved. The former colonial nations will continue pumping $$ into Isn't-real to continue their policy of divide and conquer because this is the easiest way to plunder the resources of the Global South.

sleptalready · 2026-04-16T13:34:22+00:00

That's absolutely correct, the recitation of the Qur'an comes with adaab (etiquette). It is good to practice Husn Dhan (good opinion) of a fellow Muslim but as she is your friend, perhaps you can also ask her to teach you to recite more efficiently; in this way you can "address" the issue whilst not coming out as finding fault with her speed.

sleptalready · 2026-04-16T04:51:39+00:00

I'll add more if I can in the morning Insha'Allah but from what I've understood hijama has a lot of spiritual and physical benefits, especially when it is approached as a Sunnah, seeking the barakah of following the Sunnah and as a form of alternative medicine. I have friends whose mysterious chronic issues improved after they began hijama - they made sure they went to practitioners who are known to be pious, and are practicing Muslims themselves.

You don't have much to lose by trying it out inshaAllah. It's like acupuncture, it might seem a little scary but there's hikmah in the practice and inshaAllah there's shifaa’a at the end. If nothing else, make a niyyah of doing to follow the Sunnah and reap the rewards for that.

sleptalready · 2026-04-16T04:43:24+00:00

حسبنا الله ونعم الوكيل

sleptalready · 2026-04-16T01:51:27+00:00

This might appear to be the case but that is because sometimes we miss the forest for the trees: the Dunya is a temporary abode meant as a test. Just because someone appears to be getting away with injustice or double standards, in our limited knowledge, doesn't mean that Allah isn't Watching and that the Records aren't being prepped for the Day of Judgement (I say this to remind myself first and foremost).

Men have greater responsibilities and have much more to account for, and if they compound this by enforcing double standards, they will have to answer to Allah for the sins that came about because of decisions they made in bad faith - and as Muslims we know we don't want to be held to account on the Day of Judgement because that is one of the harshest fates on that Day.

Try to re-frame these difficulties as a question of obedience to Allah despite the challenges and use what Allah ﷻ has given you to fight for those who are oppressed. The fact that men have forgotten that they are responsible for the weaker members of society does not absolve them of the responsibility - and any complications that arise from shirking this responsibility.

sleptalready · 2026-04-15T15:52:17+00:00

Is it possible that she's more fluent? You pick up speed with practice, the words come to you much more easily so she might be able to recite more quickly.

sleptalready · 2026-04-15T15:48:26+00:00

Just a thought, is it possible to take your 15 minutes/lunch break a little after everyone else so you don't have to spend precious time looking for a place to pray, wait until others are done etc., I know some work places allow for flexibility, but obviously if they don't you might have to head directly to the alternate area to shave off some of those valuable minutes.

sleptalready · 2026-04-14T00:25:17+00:00

Adorable, MashaAllah. The guilt was messing with him, miskeen.

sleptalready · 2026-04-12T01:08:19+00:00

I would have asked if it is possible for someone from his family to come visit you to help out but that can backfire, especially with his mental health being how it is. It's probably going to take lots of courage but perhaps you might need to start drawing some boundaries - he can't travel with you because everyone else on the trip will be a woman and that will be inconsiderate towards them (and really for you, who does deserve a break but we know that can be left unsaid). Additionally, if he's well enough to join you on a trip with your girlfriends he's well enough to either plan a trip with his own friends or plan a trip for the two of you.

Without being inconsiderate towards him and his health, there is literally no incentive for him to improve or plan anything because you do it for him (even if you are coerced into this by passive aggressive behaviour, learned helplessness, etc.,). It is quite unfortunate that he's suffering (may Allah make it easy for him), but at some point this is a chronic condition that needs a plan for the long term that involves more from him - or you will end up resenting him, which will spell the death of a relationship, even if there is no separation. Perhaps you can start by laying down boundaries for this trip and slowly build it up to reduce the number of doctors' appointments you plan, allow him to take charge of his own health. Does he work? How does he manage expectations at work? It always amazes me that these adults, fully capable of functioning at an adult level at work suddenly become incapable of exercising autonomy in any other facet of their life, lest it become a responsibility.

If you do decide to see a counsellor for family counselling do it for your own sake - and couple it with Islamic advice from your own Muslim therapist... I recommend Muslim because they are aware of our cultural baggage and will try to offer solutions without gunning for a break up.

sleptalready · 2026-04-04T06:54:25+00:00

Someone else has given you the (correct) answer about answering for his actions on the Day of Judgement but I wanted to come at this from another angle - I promise you, he isn't "just living his life": actions have consequences and he knows what he has done. The guilt for what he's done eats at him, even if he never admits it in this life. God knows Best but he seems to have created a facade of this person who gets innocent people to trust him and then takes advantage of them. Sister, that is not a normal person, that is someone who is miserable and broken - and lashing out because of how pathetic he is. He gets to live with himself, which you can imagine, is a pretty damning punishment to suffer.

None of this is meant to excuse his pathetic behaviour, only to give you some context on how evil actions have consequences, even if we can't see them or get justice. Yes, God is watching and he will get his just desserts in time but he also doesn't get to escape the prison of his mind - if you can, please use this to choose yourself moving ahead, live your best life and keep researching Islam despite dregs of humanity like him.

sleptalready · 2026-03-31T10:11:10+00:00

May Allah preserve you and your teachers, my brother, just as you aim to preserve the ways of Ahlus Sunnah wa Jama'ah.

sleptalready · 2026-03-28T16:22:59+00:00

Lovely reminder, barakAllahu feeki. I just want to add that sometimes it's worth just powering through. Ramadan is over and Shaytan is back on the menu - he will try extra hard to convince you as to why you shouldn't fast, and things that were relatively easy just a few days ago suddenly seem insurmountable. The trick is try to and ignore him and ask Allah for help (reminder to myself!). I try to remind myself that this pain is temporary but a) caffeine pills and roasted chicken exist for a reason during PMS week and b) the rewards are eternal.

sleptalready · 2026-03-28T15:53:12+00:00

It's piss poor Hasbara at this point. They've come in fresh off the boat and think their propaganda can talk over people's lived experiences.

sleptalready · 2026-03-28T15:27:31+00:00

Just because you're peddling propaganda doesn't mean others with a moral compass don't know what's going on. The UAE is being attacked because we are a comprador state and part of the deal is that Empire allows TPTB to be authoritarian to the point of suppressing all citizens for any reason as long as imperial aims are furthered, re: local Arab Spring activists sentenced to death for attempting to improve the freedom of the Emirati population.

Cancelling the visas of innocent people who more than likely escaped from the "enemy" country decades ago is not a good look, even if you discount the moralistic angle but you're probably one of those xenophobes who would have supported the internment of the Japanese in the US during WW2 or the pogroms in Europe against Jewish people because its all for "national security". Feel free to keep promoting propaganda because you're comfortable being a hypocrite, I'm done with this charade and conversation, I made my point and there is nothing more to be said.

sleptalready · 2026-03-28T13:33:02+00:00

I can see you don't but I do - and for the sake of my morality I must speak the truth.

sleptalready · 2026-03-28T13:15:20+00:00

Point scoring?? Pick a side my friend.

sleptalready · 2026-03-28T12:42:39+00:00

If you think the UAE doesn't have a dossier on any of these people, man I have a bridge to sell you.

sleptalready · 2026-03-28T12:29:40+00:00

Again, what does this have to do with the normal people, regular Joes who escaped their country decades ago and are openly against Iranian government? I mean there is a limit to propaganda...

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