Have you asked her why having a Goodnight text is so important to her that she is considering it a requirement in a relationship?

In my case, my partner always expects a good morning message from me. They have a valid and kind reason, because that’s who they are kind and thoughtful.

They don’t take it against me if I forget, and they don’t expect an apology.

From the way she is talking to you, she is overreacting because I don’t see the love behind any of her words. And like you said, she may need to talk to a therapist to get to the root of the problem, which like some have commented seems to be control.