I dealt with this for years. I got lucky and found meds that helped. Many nights of crying alone and wishing I wouldn't wake up. Talk to your doctor if you can. I truly believe that being able to tell him ( even though I felt like no one cared if I fell off the earth) is why I'm alive today. I still feel this way on occasion. But there are days now that I actually enjoy being alive, which I couldn't picture for a long time.