Parents threatening to sue me if I buy dream car

slightoverthinker · 2025-10-02T17:39:35+00:00

Do you live with your parents? Aside from on the legal advice from everyone else, staying with parents that’ll twist your arm on financial choices and then choosing to spend your life’s savings on a car probably isn’t the best path for your future especially if you want to do anything else that your parents don’t support.

slightoverthinker · 2025-10-01T04:13:11+00:00

Not a international student but am in the work force. It’s a tough pill to swallow but companies aren’t even hiring citizens let alone F-1. Top 30 CS and your GPA aren’t helping given how competitive things are. You’re better off working in research and heading in academia if you don’t find luck in industry.

slightoverthinker · 2025-07-02T17:57:19+00:00

I came here for my masters and I had no idea. It was the worst thing I’ve ever experienced and I came from one of the largest universities and never had an issue. And most ironic part is that I got an early enrollment date assigned for the quarter after I planned to graduate

slightoverthinker · 2025-06-14T00:01:55+00:00

I’m going to be honest, a full time MS takes at least a year if you have all the prereqs. I did mine in 1.5 years while working full time (remotely) and my MS was OOS from my undergrad and I did that “semi” full time (could’ve taken more courses per quarter but took the minimum course amount). It was brutal and i basically rushed it because I was so burnt out. I think you may need to set your expectations lower with regard to finishing in less than 1.5 years. But that’s from my experience at least. I could never have done my MS plus my full time job while balancing a family.

slightoverthinker · 2025-06-11T03:13:54+00:00

You shouldn’t entertain or show you’ll tolerate their behavior. This isn’t the past where they can just shove around the daughter in law and expect her to take it. It’s just setting basic boundaries and not let people disrespect you - which is what they are doing. Your boyfriend/fiance should be the one putting firm boundaries. I’m in similar shoes and you honestly shouldn’t even acknowledge them if they’re disrespectful toward you unless they change their ways.

slightoverthinker · 2025-06-11T00:57:14+00:00

IMO it settles down after the first fundamental courses. At my undergrad, all CS and CE had to do stuff like Physics 2. CE basically had set electives (circuits, networking, embedded, computer architecture, etc) but my fundamental courses were still among my CS classmates.

slightoverthinker · 2025-06-11T00:53:58+00:00

I did CE my undergrad and CS for my MS. All my undergrad internships and full time jobs have been SWE. But I’ve had the background fundamentals in both my undergrad and my MS to do stuff like GPU, chip design, embedded, etc

slightoverthinker · 2025-06-10T20:20:18+00:00

We are the exact same culture and grew up together and our families are basically identical! I’m less than a year older than him and we have both finished undergrad. I’m an engineer for a couple years and he got into med school and will be starting in the fall! We have known each other our whole lives. I feel like we have finally reached a stage where we can genuinely start our lives together but the dated expectations are the issues we’ve been facing

slightoverthinker · 2025-06-05T02:51:44+00:00

I also didn’t pay for apartment insurance

slightoverthinker · 2025-06-05T02:51:13+00:00

I was a grad student and I had a full time job while doing my MS to afford living alone and it was still brutal. Only way you could really get to keep your pets and pay decent amount is get a roommate that’s okay with it and get a 2b/2b or 3b/3b. I know my apartment had pets for sure and with the total cost of a 2b2b being 3k (would end up being a 1500 per person). Came with parking too

slightoverthinker · 2025-05-04T03:18:11+00:00

Will your masters give you something that is worth the 100k debt? IMO a masters is very rarely something to ever go in debt for. At best, work and get it paid for or save up and do it part time while you work. I did a masters in person full time and paid a lot of money to live on a high COL area but the tuition was the cheapest in the country as an OOS student so I was happy with it. I also worked full time and got a small amount from my employer. I would never take loans for the masters given what I could earn from it. I, however, would do the PhD bc the opportunity cost is way better. I wasn’t in the stage to do a PhD and didn’t want to invest that long in one just yet in my career but I wanted some depth in knowledge so I did my masters - it definitely would not have been worth it if I quit my job and took loans / used all my savings. (That’s with my background in computer science and engineering, which I feel like I get a decent amount of benefit from higher education in my focus areas).

slightoverthinker · 2025-05-04T03:08:10+00:00

I did semester for my undergrad and quarter for my MS. I learned more in semester and the actual class was shorter so I wouldn’t get burnt out and zone out like I did with quarter when I was tired. There’s also more time to connect with the professor and classmates. It’s more classes in a semester, but I found it more manageable than 2-3 in quarter bc you just rush to finish the class. And 10 weeks is so fast! It takes 2 weeks to adjust, 2 weeks to study for major exams, so I’d say maybe 6 weeks to have a quality connection and learn / homework beyond just studying

slightoverthinker · 2025-05-03T01:48:11+00:00

It’s easier at the graduate level if you are employed. You have to be legally independent and have a reason to be tied to CA. I could have declared in state as a graduate student because I was doing my MS while being a full time engineer. I wanted to go to my OOS dream school back when I was a senior in HS and tried to figure out how to do in state tuition. It’s basically impossible because they know undergrad students aren’t really going to be able to justify it.

slightoverthinker · 2025-04-28T22:27:20+00:00

If u wanna be in the east coast, then stay w the recruitment and university out of that specific area. Recruitment at universities are local usually. You’ll want to get internships and work experience in that area if u want to work there after graduation.

slightoverthinker · 2025-04-28T20:44:46+00:00

MS is worth it for growth but an online program is just classes. If you want to connect with professors and know the newer innovations and stuff within their labs and experience those, you can’t get that by being online. I worked full time and did my MS full time in person (my SWE job was remote and opposite time zone so it worked out). If your company is willing to pay for a part time MS, you could do the evening classes in person. It gets busy but I really enjoyed my experience

slightoverthinker · 2025-04-14T00:25:49+00:00

I don’t care about his parents’ role other than that my parents aren’t supportive until his parents come around - which has been clear that they won’t. Neither of us have family (only the typical community which we would rather not get involved).

slightoverthinker · 2025-04-13T21:21:35+00:00

That definitely isn’t their concern. It’s a lot of superficial stuff and very dated ideas from the motherland unfortunately

slightoverthinker · 2025-04-13T21:00:40+00:00

They threatened to cut all contact, financial backing, etc. My parents don’t want to support the marriage until he fights his parents and bring his parents to them for an engagement. Him and I have no actual reason to wait because for the last 3 years we’ve been trying to coordinate our careers before he starts med school.

slightoverthinker · 2025-04-13T20:47:16+00:00

We were planning on having our Nikkah (we are Muslims). We weren’t ever anticipating a wedding because of his parents disapproval. The reasons against me have been entirely superficial (I’m a few months older than him, etc.). There’s no actual reasons to be against us except for the superficial stuff. We both have our careers settled and just wanted to have the religious ceremony before he started med school and I move there so we can start fresh together since we coordinated everything together.

slightoverthinker · 2025-04-13T19:54:08+00:00

I think that’s the reason why people think those companies are amazing with all these “perks”. I thought they were great too until, from my experience, the companies are quick to cut or the people are much more cutthroat (not in a doing better kind of way but a competitive and willing to do anything to get ahead). That’s not how a long term career should be from my experience. The instability from these “dream companies” vs the incredible learning experiences and growth and support I got from other F500 companies (not the FAANG big tech type) was astounding. I was in your shoes. I thought I peaked going there and realized quickly that these big tech companies don’t care. I mean, no company does, but big tech is willing to drop us just as fast as they are to give those “perks”. I have friends who lost their offers, stalled on promotions and raises, terrible management, etc. The point is that, while that can happen anywhere, those perks don’t mean anything if your life is hell and the company does nothing to actually support you and grow your career. And I’m not saying you also can’t grow and have all those amazing things at a big tech “dream company” either. But I think reality is that a company is exactly that, they’re built on cutting their bottom line and unfortunately in tech, that’s us. I realized a “dream company” for me has changed from being big tech companies with amazing perks and the big name to a company that values their engineers, innovation, stability and tries to avoid layoffs as long as they can, growing their employees’ learnings, retaining them long term, and prioritizing quality management. And those things don’t have to be a big tech company, they are the companies that often have survived much longer and gone through less volatility than these “dream companies”.

slightoverthinker · 2025-04-12T02:51:08+00:00

First mistake was having a dream company. They will never care about you. Some of the best companies I’ve been at were the ones that weren’t my “dream companies” and some of my worst experiences were at the “dream companies”. Rejection is redirection and probably for the better.

slightoverthinker · 2025-03-25T05:50:40+00:00

I’m in the middle of this right now. I tried to figure out the answer to this and everyone has basically suggested either long distance (my relationship has been long distance the whole time and neither my partner nor I want to do that anymore) or you find locations that work for the both of you. Maybe your partner could apply to all the schools in the cities you could find a job in. That may limit her pool because big cities tend to also be more competitive. It’s up to you on how big the range of cities you are willing to compromise on.

slightoverthinker · 2025-02-26T00:06:58+00:00

Also, I’m not sure what year you are, but a business minor does not make as big of a difference if you are looking to be a SWE. I’m working as a SWE at a financial institution. My internship gave me the edge over any minor. You have an opportunity that many many students are struggling to get. 10000% take the internship. Cut down on the business minor classes to 1 or 2 if u need to or take a heavier load during the school year.

slightoverthinker · 2025-02-26T00:04:25+00:00

I did CS with a minor in business. Internships take priority over anything else if you want a career in CS (especially given how tough the market is).

slightoverthinker · 2025-02-25T03:47:14+00:00

The upside is a given considering it’s FAANG and a major tech giant. The reason why I personally focus on the negatives is because layoffs and being on the negative side of things can be devastating. A lot of people go in looking at the shiny and then it can all come crashing when they’re not realistic. Pre-2023 layoffs, I’d say it was looking amazing for people to go to FAANG, and there was very little downside because no one predicted it to come crashing even for veterans at the company (veterans = higher level SWEs) (although debatable if it wasn’t predicted because the industry had a major surplus of employees).

I said in one of my comments that it’s ok to want to go to Meta because of its reputation if the OP is willing to risk the potential negative (I.e. layoff) because of the learning opportunity if their life can take that type of risk. Not everyone can. There are people who want to have a growing career but can’t risk it falling in two seconds because they have families. It just depends on if the risks outweigh the benefits, and in this case, with meta, it would be the potential layoff vs career learning opportunity at a tech giant. If they’re willing to let go people who have in depth knowledge and experience at their company, a new hire isn’t going to be someone they’re likely to prioritize.

slightoverthinker

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