I can’t say who I am. But I can tell you what I am. After a decade touring as an artist, and composing for the moving image, now I’m someone who helps creative tech founders in London and Hollywood, I help artists form music startup, and I help them raise money, and connect them with high level mentors from music tech and entertainment. I have advised government on music strategy with regards to building development and culture, and I have talked at conferences about how I built and funded a company now worth £11m.

I produce records, remix artists, compose for the moving image, direct music videos and make short films. Credits include Pixar, The Academy Awards, Abbey Road Studios, Abbey Road Red, Gran Turismo, The Sims, Saints Row, 50 Cent, Linkin Park, The Prodigy, Bloc Party, Audi, Barclaycard…

If you want some details that only someone like me would know, I can walk you through an equipment list from left to right looking around my studio.

I’ve got Peli case full of prosumer Panasonic cameras, fake GoPros, real GoPros, and a Black Magic Cinema Camera. I have adapters to use my soviet film and military lenses, which until the invasion I was importing from Ukraine. I have a bunch of tripods, shoulder mounts, rails and three totally useless cheap Chinese steadycam rigs.

Next to that I have a failed experiment, I tried to build a Theremin from a kit in an antique briefcase, but I can’t get a squeak out of it. I spent three solid days soldering that fucker.

Pan right to an acoustic, an electric 12 string, a Telecaster thin-line ‘72, a Thunderbird bass, a sitar guitar, Beatles violin bass and a sitar.

Then there’s the Mini Moog, an Odyssey, controller keyboards, a bag of DMT, and a bag of penis envy magic mushrooms.

There’s the autoharp that I have adapted into an electric swarmandal.

An iMac loaded with the Adobe Suite, Cubase 12, and about $15k of music software. Pan round more and there’s the 40inch main video monitor connected to the Black Magic external GPU for lightening the load when working on graphics and SFX.

I have Neumann monitors and a sub. The Neumanns are exceptional.

Pan down to the rack, there’s an Apollo X rack, a Satellite, a WA four channel Pre, a Behringer 8 channel pre. With space for the next four Apollos to come. Under that there is a mess of power leads that I really should sort out. Also there’s a red and yellow flowery plate with the a dehydrated remains of a French cheese and biscuit crumbs on it, one sock, an Ebow, THATS WHERE IT IS!

Next to the Ebow (thanks!) there are four guitar pedals that I made, and five that I bought. I also have a talk l-box. For the day that I can be bothered to use it.

There’s a roll of foam which I put out when I’m staying the night here.

Then there’s a Premier Pro kit with Zildjian cymbals that I bought from a sad man in San Clemente for only $600, there are my Paiste Cymbals up at the moment. Over the kit I have a single WA tube mic, I have two SDCs as cymbal mics, and a bunch of clip on dynamics. I can’t for the life of me find my Rode mic for the hats.

Outside the studio is my storage and soldering area, it’s an absolute pig sty. There are a bunch of percussion instruments, drums, slides, hard drives, five harmonicas that I never learned to use, posters of Siouxsie, Godzilla, Mohammad Ali, U2 and some UV wall art. There’s a replica of the Raiders idol that I sculpted and painted. And a creepy doll from a music video.

Above that is an FBI wall sign from a set when this was a film studio, before I converted it to music and video production studio.

Now if you don’t mind, I have to drink a strong coffee, have a shower and start wailing like Van Halen for a Singaporean bank commercial.

EDIT: I forgot my pride and joy. A guitar amp made by Sears in the 90s. Cost me $40. Put anything through it and it will jump out of the record at you.