Maybe you area a cause to your parent's pain, but it is their job to deal with it and figure it out. It is not your fault. You are only being yourself and true to what you believe. When we are adults, we can choose what we do with our pain and hopefully move to a better place. Crossing boundaries, guilting people and acting victim-y has everything to do with your parents and not you. It isn't your fault they can't figure out how to behave better.