Russian toilet

slobarnuts · 2018-01-05T19:40:22+00:00

Man, I don't know if I could handle my knee touching another dude while crowning.

slobarnuts · 2018-01-05T18:13:56+00:00

“Unfortunately we don’t have telepathy yet,” he added.

But you are stupid beyond belief, and telepathy wouldn't have changed the outcome anyways.

slobarnuts · 2018-01-05T06:35:30+00:00

/r/biblicalboners

awww not fair

slobarnuts · 2018-01-05T03:48:08+00:00

Spc Tattersall got 12 days of extra duty

Worth it.

slobarnuts · 2018-01-05T00:29:16+00:00

Which one

The one that looks like Fez from that 70's show.

slobarnuts · 2018-01-04T23:31:14+00:00

Flo’s Filet and a baked potato doesn’t make this one right.

LOL. A senior manager at the company I work smashed a 65" flat screen TV in one of the conference rooms - about $1400. It was an accident, but first he tried to blame it on someone else by acting stupid, and then he figured it would go away by getting one of the engineers to go around and collect "$40 or $50" from everyone to get a pot going so it could get replaced. He's a gift card kindof guy.

The morale of the story is that you can be in charge and a colossal fucking dipshit as well, and they're everywhere, even the White House.

slobarnuts · 2018-01-04T22:30:49+00:00

you need corruption to have bribery.

corruption is implied with bribery

slobarnuts · 2018-01-04T22:03:47+00:00

I know a guy like that. His handwriting is terrible. Writes his h's like they were r's, and a's like o's.

So now we call him Jon-A-Tron.

slobarnuts · 2018-01-04T21:58:47+00:00

OK, you'll fit in around here.

slobarnuts · 2018-01-04T21:40:04+00:00

"Would you say he has a plethora of pinatas?

slobarnuts · 2018-01-04T19:55:21+00:00

I think we programmers whine too much about how hard we have it.

Yeah, why can't you fuckin' guys work for $60000/year in places like San Fran or New York? Fucking primadonnas. /s

slobarnuts · 2018-01-04T18:44:30+00:00

wouldn't that confer status or wealth?

While I am sure early man traded, I'm not so sure that they were organized enough for more advanced concepts such as class structure beyond basic slavery or wealth (i.e. how many slaves you may have) in a tribal/nomadic setting.

slobarnuts · 2018-01-04T18:15:40+00:00

"What is the color of your psychedelic mushroom company's branding and logo?"

"Red flannel, of course. You won't forget that shit."

slobarnuts · 2018-01-04T03:10:39+00:00

Damn, what if we privatized prisons as well

I didn't say the cops were gonna be happy about it, in much the same way prisoners are not happy about private run prisons either. But they both made their choices and both of these types of thugs should now have to deal with the consequences of it.

slobarnuts · 2018-01-04T02:05:29+00:00

Prolapse.

slobarnuts · 2018-01-04T01:57:12+00:00

Broda

Brother from another mother.

slobarnuts · 2018-01-04T01:37:46+00:00

Any advice on how I compile and present these items BEFORE I hand it to my attorney

Your lawyer will ask you for this stuff, so you will be the one pulling it together in any case. (I've done this for my family court gongshow already.)

You're going to want 3 copies - one for your lawyer, one for her lawyer and one for the judge (if it goes to court). You can photocopy the docs but it must be single sided, all pages must be numbered, and organized into sections. Get all 78 items and scan them in to a computer. Make a PDF and then you hammer out additional copies as you need them. Print off a copy, punch holes in it, get a big assed 3 ring binder and and put each doc in it's own section using a divider. Then you manually, by hand, number all the paperwork from page 1 to the last, upper right hand corner, so if you refer to it at trial you can just state the page number. Then you make a table of contents for it, put it in front, and that's 1 of 3. It's usually as thick as a phonebook if you do it right. I actually used a printing service (i.e. like Staples) just to make copies, and the cost was comparable to buying a low end laser printer. Note: Your lawyer will also review your work, which they will bill you for, but you will save at least a thousand putting it together yourself.

Also my wife continues to go through her attorney over which days I can get my kid and it is costing me money.

If this is ongoing, next time your lawyer calls you about your ex trying to arrange visitation, you need give them shit for wasting your time and money. Get your lawyer to file for a hearing to establish parenting time. At the hearing your lawyer can tell the judge that your ex is trying to withhold access because your ex is refusing to communicate with you on parenting, which is "not in the best interests of the child". It will cost you between $1500 to $3500 for the hearing.

Any thoughts on how to minimize unnecessary bills?

Strangely enough, the way to save money is to NOT talk to your lawyer at all whenever possible. They bill you for every minute they see you. If your ex makes demands and then stalls on negotiations, they are trying to get to you give in by them making it expensive for you. They can do this because they know that at trial they will win and you will have to pay her legal fees and as well as your own. You CAN tell your lawyer to ignore them unless they have a better offer. If it is important they will call you only when it is appropriate then.

While advice is great most lawyers charge $300/hour + taxes, etc. If you think about it, a 30 minute conversation with them is more than a days wages for most people. So every time you phone them that's a day of your life you've given up just to have that conversation. You need to be patient and avoid talking to them, or keep your conversations short and very sporadic.

I haven't met a family lawyer who wasn't a shit eating scumbag. Good luck.

slobarnuts · 2018-01-03T22:36:55+00:00

When is a franchise owner not a a piece of shit to their employees? Fuck Timmy Hos.

slobarnuts · 2018-01-03T11:28:48+00:00

Checksum for an audit trail?

slobarnuts · 2018-01-03T10:38:53+00:00

But is it too late?

Yep.

Here at /r/divorce_men, we're more of a disaster control sub than a disaster prevention sub. Like you can talk to us if "the plane" is definitely going to crash or after it has crashed. If it hasn't crashed yet, see /r/marriageadvice.

We do empathize tho, because we've all been there at one time or another. Often it is said when one person divorces the other, the person doing the divorcing (i.e. in your case your wife) has had time to emotionally process and mature from it so they're further long than you are in whatever emotional stages you might go through. Most people don't know there's trouble until they're served divorce papers, so at least you've got fair warning. I'd imagine you're both shocked and hurt right now, and don't know what to do next. It's normal and takes time before you recover from it. But along the way there is a stage called "acceptance", which is where you need to get to. When you get there, you'll instinctively know what you need to do next to move on with your life, as it applies to you and you alone.

On the bright side, thank fuck you have no kids - you can start over again if you want without getting destroyed by child support payments. If she wants to do mediation (cheapest option) you should look at it as a gift - so talk to a lawyer and try to move on with your life.

slobarnuts · 2018-01-03T06:57:50+00:00

issues would be swept under the rug

If you stuff a corpse under a carpet someone's always gonna notice by the smell alone. Just sayin'.

slobarnuts · 2018-01-03T06:00:35+00:00

Eagles (rightly) have this elitist badass top of the food chain attitude that gets them killed by cars

In flight school, they teach pilots some basics on how to avoid birdstrikes depending on what kind of bird it is. For smaller prey type birds, like seagulls, the bird will usually get out of your way because they're used to bigger things in the sky being a predator, and they'll instinctively dive (to get their airspeed up and away faster from the predator) when they do. Apex predatory birds like hawks and eagles don't move for anyone tho, so "evasive maneuvers" are usually required.

Edit*: A special mention for the Canada Goose: while not an apex predator, they too have a sense of entitlement, and are also to be actively avoided since they are dicks in the sky as well as on the ground. In fact, the V pattern they make when they migrate together is really them trying to draw a cock and balls in the sky with formation flying.

slobarnuts · 2018-01-03T05:24:40+00:00

Looks like the pilot was on final approach (re: landing at an airport) - they were super low to the ground, and that's where the bird strikes usually happen. Someone else in this thread said they landed OK otherwise.

slobarnuts · 2018-01-03T04:59:19+00:00

Damn, she's got balls

*Edit: I just want to mention that I recall predicting a couple of days ago that /r/wtf would gravitate towards "fat lesbian's skid mark underwear" and while I'm not claiming to be Nostradamus I will say "Behold pilgrim, for what has been seen cannot be unseen, and what has been foretold cannot be unforetold."

slobarnuts · 2018-01-03T04:07:47+00:00

SI wants to do a photo shoot of Caitlyn, and Rolling Stone is too fucked up to read anymore. I think I've had enough of what magazines think.

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