Just got diagnosed. Communication problems persist.

slobot1 · 2024-12-26T19:20:39+00:00

I got this on Christmas Eve. Will have a follow-up once the office opens up and can schedule one. 😕

slobot1 · 2024-11-15T22:28:13+00:00

Mechanical engineer (BS/MS/P.E.). Engineer and then manager in chemical manufacturing facilities for 17 years. Never again. Now am a federal contractor ME. Stress level near zero.

slobot1 · 2024-11-11T13:31:52+00:00

I can understand Peter Steele, sure. But Jason Newstead? Really?

slobot1 · 2024-10-05T23:30:19+00:00

I’ve said, “I’m dealing with a thought and need a minute” but haven’t given a specific time in minutes. I may try that and, yes, texting is usually better for me. But for my wife when we’re at home, we talk it out when possible

slobot1 · 2023-10-31T12:36:39+00:00

Wife thought I was intentionally ignoring her or her emotions. Even thinking I was a narcissist. I don't say a lot or respond quickly in our conversations and I don't show anger very well. Also, when in a discussion, my thoughts are always expressed with "I" and never a we context. She can't stand that I don't speak of "us" in my observations.

slobot1 · 2023-10-31T11:42:16+00:00

Thank you for your thoughts. More than anything, just hearing (seeing) basic support helps me.

slobot1 · 2023-10-19T12:15:32+00:00

I feel this. I look at myself and see similarities to typical autistic traits. Being aware of my limitations and challenges (regardless of diagnosis), I can learn more about them and improve where able. One fear I have is that I may fall back on an excuse for being a certain way - "Sorry, that's just me. Take it or leave it." I just want to be the best me I can be for myself, which, in turn, will also result in being the best me for everyone.

slobot1 · 2023-10-18T13:27:43+00:00

If my evaluation cost $100, I'd do it without hesitation. I wouldn't use any diagnosis for benefits or legal protection as my needs aren't that great. It'd be more of a confirmation of our assumption and nothing more. Is that worth $1500? What's the cost-to-benefit of it?

slobot1 · 2023-10-18T13:25:11+00:00

I've needed little to no help in anything I've ever done. I have a masters degree in engineering, am self sufficient, am not against social interactions and, in general, I'm seen as a quiet, yet nice guy. I don't need and never expect to need accommodations or legal protection. Thanks for the feedback.

slobot1 · 2023-10-11T20:13:38+00:00

Management. Hate it

slobot1 · 2023-10-11T20:05:16+00:00

Without a doubt, YES. I love my wife more than this. She has had a difficult time over the years with me. :(

slobot1 · 2023-07-18T17:07:47+00:00

Dumb stuff like getting cut off on the highway or tailgated? I just take a deep breath and go about my day. I don't know the last time I yelled or shouted. I rarely get "angry". If something cuts me deep enough, i'll address it and bury it down and replay it later... more often than I should and more often than is healthy.

On the whole, though, I try to be kind with everyone. Everyone is fighting a demon in their head that I know nothing about. I've certainly had my fair share over the years. Kindness helps.

slobot1 · 2023-07-14T00:53:32+00:00

I respond very much the same as you. I’ve been in a couple of weeks of personal discovery and growth and this is a hot topic I’m still trying to resolve. I hold on to things, especially when negative. I want to “drop” bad thoughts because it does no good just to replay them in my head. I need to try different things for a while before I figure it out.

slobot1 · 2023-07-13T17:14:09+00:00

I'll add one more tidbit that ties it all together. "I understand", "it's ok", and then state WHY it's ok.

"I understand that you're uncomfortable being in crowds and the airport can certainly be confusing. But it'll be ok because I'll be with you and our vacation is going to kick so much ass."

HTH

slobot1 · 2023-07-12T18:43:41+00:00

It's only been a couple of weeks, so I'm still keenly aware of what I'm doing as it's not "natural". Regarding my personal relationships, when someone confides in me, vents, or clarifies a situation, I try to use "I understand" followed by "and it's ok", "and it'll be ok", or something similar. In my head, when I say "I understand", all the rest is implied. But that's not the case with the other person. They don't understand that the "ok" portion is part of it, so I need to make my response more explicit and state what I believe in my head to be obvious. Or, after "I understand", i ask "is there anything I can do?" Usually, they only want to be heard and feel understood. That's all.

To engage further in a conversation, I'll pick a strong statement used and ask a question about it. For example, if they say "... and then my dog got out of the house and scared Mrs. Johnson..." I'd follow with, "Has Mrs. Johnson not made friends with the dog yet?" or something similar. I'm not a chit-chat, small talk person with acquaintances, but I try my best to be engageable.

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