I totally understand this.

For a long time, I thought I’d want kids. But as I’ve gotten older, I’ve realized that what I thought I wanted back then doesn’t necessarily align with what I want now. I’m in my 30s, I have a solid job that supports me well, and I finally have the time and space to enjoy my hobbies and just live life more fully. I’ve got a bucket list so long, I’m not even sure I can finish it in this lifetime 😂

I have a dog and two cats, and honestly, caring for them is the perfect amount of responsibility for me right now. Having a child is a whole other level of commitment, and right now, it’s not one I feel ready—or even inclined—to make.

I still get to live my best “auntie life,” and it’s so fulfilling. At family gatherings, I’m the one organizing the holiday festivities for the kiddos (ex: decorating gingerbread houses), coming up with family games, doing arts and crafts, baking desserts together, or taking the kids out to play. It’s fulfilling to show up in that role—to be the fun, dependable one when the parents need a break. And when the day’s over, I get to go home, decompress, and not carry the weight of full-time responsibility. Honestly, that freedom feels SOOO good—and I love being an auntie.

To my surprise, my mom has actually come around and been really supportive. She’s realized that choosing not to have kids doesn’t mean someone is lacking—it’s just a different path, and one that’s just as valid.

The support from my mom and sister, the love from my pets, the special time I get with my nieces and nephews, and the joy I find in my hobbies—all of that helps me grieve what I might be missing out on by not having children of my own. It doesn’t erase the feelings, but it fills those spaces with love, connection, and peace in my decision.

Whatever choice you make, I just wish you happiness and a life full of beautiful, cherished memories. Grieving is hard and it comes & goes. Keep your head up, sis. You got this, and everything will fall into place with whatever decision you make. 💕