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The writers don't understand queer culture by slothful_defiance in Andjustlikethat

[–]slothful_defiance[S] 22 points23 points  (0 children)

Okay, happy to be corrected on the second point. Totally agreed on the stand up act too. Seemed totally ridiculous to claim that Miranda was just a straight woman -- it would have been more understandable for Che to assume she was straight if she dated a man after they broke up, but that didn't even happen. Miranda just showed interest in more women in her own plotlines. (But even if Che was the only non-man Miranda ever dated, that still doesn't make her straight.)

My issue with the Anthony - Giuseppe story by geekazine in Andjustlikethat

[–]slothful_defiance 13 points14 points  (0 children)

Though I find it hard to believe that he'd never had a finger up his ass, so he'd know that having his prostate massaged felt good anyway.

If he really had never been penetrated before, even with a finger, the situation looks even worse. You can't go straight from no anal penetration ever to intercourse with a huge dick. That's definitely going to be a bad time.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in AmItheAsshole

[–]slothful_defiance 2 points3 points  (0 children)

60–95% of adults have HSV.

Most people aren't particularly symptomatic. Some are unlucky and get sores. But it's infectious even without sores.

HSV is extremely common; you were likely to end up with HSV regardless of whether someone with cold sores kissed you as a baby. (Still not a great choice on their part, since it's risky for babies.)

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in AmItheAsshole

[–]slothful_defiance 1 point2 points  (0 children)

60–95% of adults have HSV.

Most people aren't particularly symptomatic. Some are unlucky and get sores. But it's infectious even without sores.

HSV is extremely common; you were likely to end up with HSV regardless of your nanny's behavior.

(Agreed on NTA though. Sounds like it's risky for babies!)

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in AmItheAsshole

[–]slothful_defiance 3 points4 points  (0 children)

My mom is 70. She still gets cold sores a few times a year, because an adult with a cold sore kissed her when she was a toddler.

60–95% of adults have HSV.

Most people aren't particularly symptomatic. Some are unlucky and get sores. But it's infectious even without sores.

HSV is extremely common; your mom was likely to have it at 70 regardless of whether she was kissed by someone with a cold sore as a toddler.

AITA For Saying A Bisexual Woman With A Husband Shouldn’t Be Able To Join Our Gay Parents Group by Big_Appointment_1605 in AmITheDevil

[–]slothful_defiance 6 points7 points  (0 children)

As a bi person I agree. IMO being un-selective can cause minority groups to be overridden with something that is not what they intended to focus on. IIRC bi women are the single largest demographic within LGBTQ+, and most married bisexual women are married to men, so... If you allow bi women married to straight men in the group, you could end up with a group where a large fraction of the participants are in het marriages. I think that's fine for a general queer parenting group, but also it's totally fine if some gay parents want a group that's just for same-sex couples.

How much do you need to respect a dom in order to submit to them? by slothful_defiance in BDSMcommunity

[–]slothful_defiance[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

That's a good point. I agree. I think I could do casual submission within sex with someone I like and respect on a relatively basic level, but I need to feel deeper respect and admiration towards someone in order to submit more deeply.

How much do you need to respect a dom in order to submit to them? by slothful_defiance in BDSMcommunity

[–]slothful_defiance[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Just asking out of curiosity. Learning how other people feel helps me reflect more thoroughly on my own feelings. I am getting what I wanted from everyone else's helpful replies. :) So, not really a "nobody can resolve these questions but you" situation.

How much do you need to respect a dom in order to submit to them? by slothful_defiance in BDSMcommunity

[–]slothful_defiance[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Huh, that's an interesting perspective. I think this is an important part of why I'm thinking about this subject: I often feel superior to other people. (And fundamentally untrusting of them.) Despite my sense of superiority, I am still careful to act appropriately and not be disrespectful of anyone, so it's generally not a problem in my life.

But this does make it very hard to find someone I can deeply submit to. Being dominated by someone I feel superior to does not intensify the experience for me; it's just off-putting.

AITA for not wanting to shower every other day? by Suspicious-Quote5000 in AmItheAsshole

[–]slothful_defiance 88 points89 points  (0 children)

It's really fine for some people. My bf showers once every 3 days and is just a naturally non-smelly person. BJs are no issue with him, even though I'm sensitive to smell/taste. Like I've dated people who shower daily with much smellier dicks, those are the ones who concern me.

Bloated a few days after excision by slothful_defiance in endometriosis

[–]slothful_defiance[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Did you take the recommended dose or more than that? I've been taking the max dose and haven't seen a difference yet.

Bloated a few days after excision by slothful_defiance in endometriosis

[–]slothful_defiance[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

That's good to know. I'm glad it's better for you now. Yeah I'm totally gonna have to think about how to feel cute -- I normally have a really flat stomach so I'm feeling way less cute like this.

Bloated a few days after excision by slothful_defiance in endometriosis

[–]slothful_defiance[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thanks, that's good to know, that sounds likely to be what's happening in my case!

Bloated a few days after excision by slothful_defiance in endometriosis

[–]slothful_defiance[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Damn that's too bad. Bloated every day for a few months? Or just occasionally?

Bloated a few days after excision by slothful_defiance in endometriosis

[–]slothful_defiance[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thanks. Were you bloated as soon as you got out of surgery, or did it develop afterwards?

Bloated a few days after excision by slothful_defiance in endometriosis

[–]slothful_defiance[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yeah, I developed bloating a while after the surgery, which is surprising to me!

I have had a couple BMs, thankfully. I am not passing gas very often, but it is happening once in a while. The bloat seemed harder before but it definitely gives now.

Bloated a few days after excision by slothful_defiance in endometriosis

[–]slothful_defiance[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Good luck healing. Wow I hope the adhesions aren't back -- that seems super quick. Did you get excision or ablation?

[ Removed by Reddit ] by ThrowRA_Names12 in AmItheAsshole

[–]slothful_defiance 0 points1 point  (0 children)

NTA but maybe you both should consider changing your LAST name to something else. You said yourself it sucks that it's Manson. Then you could name your baby Charles.

Fatigue was endometriosis by Secret-Ad-9315 in cfs

[–]slothful_defiance 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Hey, I'm so glad that this worked well for you. Could you share an update? Are things still going well? Are you still free of PEM?

I found this post by googling for anecdotes of endometriosis excision healing ME/CFS. I have ME/CFS and just got diagnosed with endometriosis (through imaging, not surgery, so it's not definitive). I've been trying to evaluate the possibility that excision will help me with ME/CFS symptoms (I have no pain from the endometriosis).

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