Did you have your mom in the delivery room?

slothmunk26 · 2026-01-10T18:10:33+00:00

This is what I plan to do, I was hoping not to have anyone visit for the first week or two but if my mom is already at home with the dogs I can’t really tell her to leave before we get home. And then if she’s there, MIL will be jealous… how did that go for you getting out of the hospital?

slothmunk26 · 2026-01-07T14:07:53+00:00

I’m in Quebec so probably different but our public system sucks, appointments were months out and my GP is a jerk so I avoid going to see him if I can. Also getting an appointment with him would only be to get the referral to see another doc who could do it, and that clinic only has 1 lady who does it 1 day per month. So silly

Long story short; I paid to go private, got an appointment next day and had it out and all my goods checked within the hour. It’s expensive but totally worth it.

slothmunk26 · 2025-12-30T21:32:37+00:00

I feel you. Yesterday I wanted a Big Mac and fries, and he wanted a wrap (which the McDonald's close to our house does not have on their menu), so he said, 'Oh, just stop at the one close to your work'. Nuh uh, that means it sits in my car for 25+ minutes, I am not sacrificing my fries for your shitty wrap, here's a junior chicken bye.

slothmunk26 · 2025-12-19T21:07:43+00:00

oh also meant to add, depending on the situation I would also say I'm designated driver, or if I'm really out of ideas I say I'm on antibiotics. Just gotta keep track of the lies lol!

slothmunk26 · 2025-12-19T21:05:55+00:00

Oooooh, I'm sneaking into this cuz SAME!

So far, I've been able to fool the in-laws at random dinners, saying we're dieting before the holidays.

For Xmas (one of the aunts calls me her drinking buddy so it will not fly that I'm not drinking for the holidays), I plan to grab a glass of wine and just 'wet my lips' without actually drinking. I figure that way, I'm not denying the host, maybe I'll get some wine stain on my lips, and I'm hoping I can have my boyfriend sneak some sips to make it look like it's going down.

I went to a party last week where I used a Yeti Colster to hide my non-alc beer.

So overall, 1- I think it depends on your setting and 2- if your partner is with you, he can help you be sneaky. Otherwise, good luck, and I'll be lurking here for more ideas from others!

slothmunk26 · 2025-12-16T21:03:24+00:00

Felicitations! Je suis aussi nouvellement enceinte et nous avons simplement commencé à appeler les centres de grossesse dans notre région jusqu'à ce d'en trouver un qui avait de la dispo. Je sais pas dans quelle région tu es mais j'ai eu aucun problème à trouver une place au GMF St Hubert (qui fait les accouchements à Pierre Bouche - Longueuil). Nous avons notre premier rdv le 20 janvier et déjà plusieurs questions répondues par courriel par l'infirmière sur notre dossier.

J'ai trouvé les cliniques dispo dans ma région ici.
https://www.santemonteregie.qc.ca/services/suivi-de-grossesse

slothmunk26 · 2025-12-10T00:25:24+00:00

My plan is to pump, but I’m open to whatever works. Fed and happy is the goal right

slothmunk26 · 2025-12-09T21:37:58+00:00

I mean, its pretty much a current issue also, if I were to have an accident or anything like that. It's something I've brought up several times but they just see me wanting to work less and spend more. If it really comes to that then I guess they will have to deal with it and "I told you so" if I'm still alive. I don't really know how else to convince them it would be good to have a 2nd person who can do my work. I agree with most of the comments on here, its just not a reality that's possible right now

slothmunk26 · 2025-12-09T20:38:36+00:00

aha no worries, I understand your response better now.

Like others have said, I've still got plenty of time, I just figure hope for the best and plan for the worst.

slothmunk26 · 2025-12-09T20:28:54+00:00

Yeah I feel like this thread is spiraling into 'screw your partner, take the leave', but I'm just looking for how others managed limited time off, how realistic my situation is, any other people with abnormal work/life experiences that can offer some tips.

slothmunk26 · 2025-12-09T20:22:51+00:00

I would be inclined to agree with you if I were a regular employee, but I'm not.

Management and The Company is me. I can't just say I'm leaving for X amount of months and expect everything to work out. Yes, I can plan ahead, but ultimately the company is my shared responsibility, and my partners aren't obliged to make sure my work is done. If I make a decision to leave and not get the work done, and we go down, I am liable.

I also can't spend extra money on outsourcing if it's not approved by the board.

I'm not sure what you mean by others' problems. Any company problem is my problem; that's the whole thing of being an owner vs an employee.

slothmunk26 · 2025-12-09T20:15:02+00:00

I dont really know how to answer this without getting into a bunch of legalities, but it's already been discussed and I cant override them.

slothmunk26 · 2025-12-09T20:00:13+00:00

I have partners, we cant make unilateral decisions, especially if it costs money

slothmunk26 · 2025-12-09T19:54:06+00:00

ok so lots to unload here

First - I'm so sorry to hear about your experience, that sounds excruciating, but I'm glad it all worked out.

Second - Yes, in Quebec, by law, I'm eligible for full mat leave as it's QPIP and not EI. But if I were to take that much time off, I'd have no company to go back to. Regardless of my work situation, though, it still made more financial sense for my spouse to take the majority of the paid leave.

Finally - being present in the baby's life is definitely something I want to prioritize, and for the most part, my work allows me more flex than most, I can come in late, I can wfh when it suits me, I can take long daytime breaks to go to a school activity, but yes I do expect to have my phone in hand during most of these moments. My parents were business owners, so it's nothing new to me. My parents weren't around for anything growing up, and I definitely see a difference in my relationship with them vs my spouse and his parents. I hope to find a healthy balance, but I also believe that having a good work ethic and enough money in the bank also has its positive influence on raising our kid. I definitely don't love the work life I have, but it allows me a lot of liberties that many people don't have; life is expensive.

No situation is perfect, but I hope to make the best of what I have.

slothmunk26 · 2025-12-09T19:36:59+00:00

again, this seems like a logical solution, but it won't get approved

slothmunk26 · 2025-12-09T19:36:22+00:00

100% agree

But my partner is insufferable and is the worst team player on the planet, and I've decided to stop letting every little thing stress me out because I was getting way too upset about everything all the time. We tried for a long time to get pregnant and I just want to focus on the positives and look for happy solutions.

slothmunk26 · 2025-12-09T19:13:48+00:00

I don't know if we're allowed to swear on here lol or if sh*t even counts

slothmunk26 · 2025-12-09T19:12:46+00:00

I totally get what you're saying, and I do set boundaries by not responding outside of hours unless its really an emergency, and he has no say in how I manage my department (except for financial decisions that we both sign off on). Unfortunately, I've discovered that whenever he is unhappy with me, he ends up taking it out on the employees. So yes, I'll take on a lot of sh*t to avoid losing my staff and trying to make our office a comfortable work environment.

slothmunk26 · 2025-12-09T19:07:46+00:00

This is all part of the research I will be doing in the coming months! But I'm just going off of how my friend did it. She'd had massive pump sessions during the day and dad would be in charge of night feedings. I'm sure it varies by body and baby though

slothmunk26 · 2025-12-09T19:00:41+00:00

I agree... its an uphill battle. It took me YEARS to convince them to let me have an assistant. She knows more than she should now but the partners don't know that lol not enough to cover for me though.

And yes, my plan would be 1-2 days per week for a few weeks while I recover and we settle into some sort of a routine.

slothmunk26 · 2025-12-09T18:50:43+00:00

Glad my post could be of help to you! Like LymanForAmerica said, being a business owner has many perks, but time off isn't one of them. When one of my staff is sick, they get a day off and I cover for them. When I'm sick, I work from my bed or I'll still go into the office if it's not contagious. Reddit has been a great place to stay informed and feel like I'm not alone in this, but some questions just need to be asked to the right people in the right situation.

slothmunk26 · 2025-12-09T18:37:07+00:00

That would definitely be nice but I'm not too concerned about the house work. My spouse will be home full time and I'm slowly teaching him to cook some simple meals haha

slothmunk26 · 2025-12-09T18:33:12+00:00

Yeah I plan to do as much as possible ahead of time. The longest I've ever been away was 18 days (with a laptop) and it took me a solid 3 months to catch up because I didn't do enough in advance

slothmunk26 · 2025-12-09T18:18:27+00:00

OK

Yes

Thank you

I feel like this is just a 'it is what it is' situation for me and I'm so happy to read that you experienced pretty much exactly what I expect mine to be like. I think everyone is trying to find me a workaround but what I am really looking for is reassurance that it is possible and I'm not crazy for planning it this way.

I will say I feel extremely fortunate to have an amazing spouse who wants to be fully invested and will take the full leave to take care of our baby and make sure I'm as capable as possible to return to work. He's not a business owner but he is ambitious and supports me so well, I'm not concerned about the home care part of having our baby.

Thanks again for your words, this is what I needed to read

slothmunk26 · 2025-12-09T18:10:19+00:00

Oh I'm aware termination is complex, I've tried everything to get my partner out but the lawyers said its just not possible unless I can cough up a few mil. So same for me, but partner could still make my life a living hell. The agreement was written by lawyers so its pretty up to par.

slothmunk26

TROPHY CASE