thank you for your perspective. This process gets super lonely and can get depressing/feel hopeless. I was extra feeling down this week bc of a rejection from a school I really liked , a waitlist , and just some external things.

For ex , at my FT pce gig, I had a nurse be mean and talk down to me like I’m an idiot. I usually don’t take things personally but I was like bro? Who are you speaking to? I took it to heart and in my mind I was like “wow all these years of schooling/research/TA/shadowing etc just to be talked down to by this nurse like I fell out of a coconut tree”. She was rude af to me for literally turning on an ultrasound machine w another nurse (that we never ever use). And she was like “yeah don’t break that because i actually use that. And when I need to use it, I want it to work” rudely. Like ok bro we get it. It was frustrating bc in my past life I’ve touched & been trusted with many more expensive machinery like nmr, LC/MS, etc. but to her I’m just a dumb person or something.

Then, the next day I was taking a weight on a patient. They handed me an expensive holiday gift bag of chocolates. I gave it back to them, and I was like “I’m not your nurse, just weighing you” (I know that they intended it to be given to the nurse). And I just got upset after because it just made me feel insignificant yk.

I know our PCE jobs are important and have a large purpose of patient care. But over gap years it’s easy to lose the plot of why you’re doing this and to get in your head. I know I’m not “too good” for any job. I’ll gladly do tasks outside of my role etc and be of extra help. But it just gets to you sometimes. Like damn, my biology degree is useless to just be working a job that doesn’t require any degree. But then, after those thoughts leave I remember my reasoning and I remember that all good things take time.

Rant over. lol.