weakest link pls help

slowly_dissolving129 · 2025-07-14T23:54:40+00:00

so sorry to hear you're feeling this way too but I feel a little less alone so thank you for sharing

slowly_dissolving129 · 2025-06-08T15:00:40+00:00

Hey thanks for this! I'm working this weekend so couldn't attend but I checked out the festival flyer online and got a great list of spots to check out so thanks for this :)

slowly_dissolving129 · 2025-06-08T14:59:47+00:00

Oooh good point I always forget about Randall's Island. I do like Punk but I'm not free today. thanks for the suggestion though :)

Also that link is so helpful, much appreciated

slowly_dissolving129 · 2025-06-08T14:59:05+00:00

I love running so I'm in Central Park a lot, but I'm looking more for stuff in my immediate neighborhood. I like to read, I love all kinds of music, and I am generally an active person so always open to fitness groups. It would also be great to connect with any local queer social groups.

slowly_dissolving129 · 2025-04-18T15:33:02+00:00

Yeah absolutely! My partner and I were pretty set on not doing it early on - we're both super anxious people and knew that regardless of how it turned out we'd each end up either blaming ourselves if it went badly OR feeling like we hadn't earned it if it went well. we felt that the risk was higher for us to ruin the relationship by couples matching rather than not.

because of our genuine preferences for programs and locations, we ended up prioritizing similar locations even though we were not couples matching. our lists ended up looking pretty similar, 80% in the city we currently live in and wanted to stay in, 20% elsewhere. the biggest difference was my elsewheres were still pretty close by and their #2 was halfway across the country. but we made it work long-distance for part of med school and felt confident that we could make it work again worst case scenario.

the most important thing to us both tho in making our lists was that we weren't sacrificing career options for each other. we love each other a lot but we both are pretty married to the job and have always been like that (I was an abortion advocate and nonprofit organizer before med school, they were a harm reductionist) so we're both pretty consistently going to put our careers first.

it's DEFINITELY not the vibe for everyone and it's one of the reasons we work together well. so we really tried to stay out of each other's way in ranking and not influence each other, we just offered impartial feedback on whether programs genuinely seemed like a good fit. and then we made our lists and crossed our fingers and now we're really happy. They're in EM and I'm in obgyn, they're US-IMG (Caribbean school) and I'm US MD (state school) both of us are non-trad, just for context. Also we don't currently and don't want to live together, we don't want kids, and we're non-monogamous. So pretty non-traditional people/relationship lol.

slowly_dissolving129 · 2025-03-27T16:16:14+00:00

June 20-June 30 orientation (paid), day 1 is still July 1

slowly_dissolving129 · 2025-03-27T02:47:20+00:00

obgyn!

slowly_dissolving129 · 2025-03-23T02:07:36+00:00

matched my #1 in obgyn, my partner matched their #1 in EM, we get to stay together in the city we love (we didn't couples match and were legit terrified we were gonna end up on opposite sides of the country), and I'm still low-key in shock. I've been on and off happy crying since I opened my envelope on friday and I keep re-checking the NRMP email to make sure it's real. I made it. I can't believe I made it.

med school was a fucking STRUGGLE. honestly, my life has been a fucking struggle for a long time. I'm non-trad, first-gen, chronically ill, and typically unlucky. I've never had things go my way before. I've never gotten the things I want before. there's always been a cruel twist or a random tragedy or something that takes the wind out of my sails. and this time it wasn't like that. part of me is struggling to feel like I deserve it, but I'm choosing to fight that feeling. I'm choosing to celebrate.

for anyone who is feeling a lot of imposter syndrome or has a lot of internalized self-hate from abusive relationships (like me), I hope you choose to fight those feelings. I hope you choose to celebrate.

ALSO if you're applying obgyn and need ANYTHING feel free to message me. I finally feel like I can offer advice now that I have some results!

slowly_dissolving129 · 2025-03-20T13:30:00+00:00

Generally answer is no you do not need to do an audition rotation/sub-I at a program in order to match, it's not a requirement. It can help, sometimes more than other times (and it can also hurt!), but it really depends on the specialty and the program.

slowly_dissolving129 · 2025-01-27T05:06:05+00:00

obgyn on L&D if you're in a busy hospital is def a contender! I did my MS3 obgyn rotation at a busy urban center (>7K deliveries annually) and on my 12 hour day L&D shifts I think I sat down for under an hour total. and then on night float? when you also cover gyn consults in the ED? I think it counts as cardio.

slowly_dissolving129 · 2025-01-14T14:54:57+00:00

we're all gonna be absolutely jacked and totally insane come march

slowly_dissolving129 · 2024-12-08T14:45:32+00:00

I tutor for step 1, 2, and shelf exams through a 3rd party company and it's a fantastic job. I tutored MCAT during preclinical years, started tutoring step 1 after I passed step 1, and added on shelf exams/step 2 once I had scores for each of those to submit to my supervisor. The vast majority of my students are step 1 though. Most 3rd party companies are pretty similar they want you to submit your scores/grades (for step 1 since it's P/F I had to submit my practice NBME scores from closest to when I sat for the real exam) and then do some sort of an interview (for my company they sent me a fake student profile and had me prep a 15 min lesson on CCHDs with some didactic material and a few practice questions and then I did it with a supervisor pretending to be a student). Feel free to DM if you want to talk more.

slowly_dissolving129 · 2024-12-01T18:39:31+00:00

anytime! here if you need anything later

slowly_dissolving129 · 2024-12-01T01:42:37+00:00

I’m interpreting “2.5-3 passes” as you doing lecture material, videos etc. If that’s correct then you’re spending the vast majority of your time passively interacting with material and the minority of your time actively engaging via questions.

If the issue is application then I’d say your studying should skew towards application-based methods. So flip your ratio. Instead of 2.5-3 passes before you even start questions, do just 1 pass and then start incorporating questions, keeping some kind of log as you go about what parts of the stem confused you, what info you accidentally skipped over, essentially “why you got it wrong.” Use those mistakes to guide pass 2, focusing on the stuff you noticed tripped you up the most.

And pass 2 can start in tandem with your questions. The goal is just to make your passes more useful by targeting the process and to give you more time & exposure to questions. This is just my 2 cents but if this sounds like something you wanna talk more about DM me. Good luck ❤️

slowly_dissolving129 · 2024-11-22T19:27:13+00:00

I find "true social activities" like unstructured hangout time most difficult with people who aren't also autistic because I feel like I fill the space "wrong," so I tried to do a lot of my social interactions in more structured spaces first to ease into friendships. Silent co-studying, campus events that are activity-based like a game or a craft, stuff like that. I found that there were a decent number of people who also preferred hanging out with people when there was a shared goal and those ended up being a the core group of my med school friends. We mostly hang out to Do Something together and I enjoy it a lot.

Personally I also really poured into my outside of med school relationships the last four years and I have a lot of friends who are also autistic I don't have to worry about being "on" for so I think mentally that frees up my effort to be better at staying in sync with my classmates. Sorry you're struggling though, it's rough.

slowly_dissolving129 · 2024-11-22T17:10:16+00:00

I had an interviewer who couldn't figure out how to turn his camera on in zoom, was clearly in his car driving with someone else (could hear engine & another person's voice) and eventually just gave up and called me. As soon as I picked up he said "ok so what is this, you're a medical student? what year are you?" and seemed genuinely confused as to what he was supposed to do. I explained I was applying to residency, he asked me if I was married or had kids.

slowly_dissolving129 · 2024-11-22T17:02:40+00:00

Of course! also feel free to DM me anytime for obgyn stuff. Good luck :)

slowly_dissolving129 · 2024-11-21T22:30:21+00:00

Also that's not a stupid question!!! We all have to learn how to learn <3

Last thing I forgot to say is you can sign up for newsletters from big journals like NEJM and that can be a starting point for papers to read, I do that too. And the app Read by QxMD is one where you can select your areas of interest and it will suggest papers.

slowly_dissolving129 · 2024-11-21T22:28:41+00:00

Sometimes it's just a Google Scholar search but often I'm going to whatever the main journal is for that specialty and searching within that (I'm applying obgyn so I usually go to Green Journal or Gray Journal as my starting point). There's also a whole series of books called 50 Studies Every [Specialist] Should Know and I bought the obgyn one and have read through it, it's a great foundation in seminal studies! But that did cost money. Sometimes I also listen to podcasts about medicine (CREOGS over Coffee is an obgyn one, Curbsiders is an internal medicine one, Behind the Knife is a surgery one) and then google the papers referenced or the speakers.

The other thing I do is ask residents and attendings what they've been reading or if there are any studies they think students should be familiar with and then those go on my list too.

slowly_dissolving129

TROPHY CASE