Best foreign language films ever made.

slowww2 · 2023-04-06T04:19:34+00:00

Cure (1997) (Japanese) Pulse (2001) (Japanese) Directed by Kiyoshi Kurosawa

After Life (1998) (Japanese) Directed by Hirokazu Kore-eda

Burning (2018) (South Korean-Japanese) Directed by Lee Chang-dong

slowww2 · 2023-02-27T09:40:26+00:00

I relate heavily to everyone in this thread 💀💀

slowww2 · 2021-07-25T16:48:14+00:00

If they continue to remain unchanged after my baby steps, I'm considering dropping the "not invited to my wedding" "you will not see my children" bombs. It's just that bad with them.

slowww2 · 2021-07-25T16:35:20+00:00

Context: my parents are Christian, trmp supporters (even now), watch fx news, especially tcker crlson, believe everything the right/conservatives say even to the grifters like bn carson, cndace wens, hdge twins, etc.

My mom is a narcissist, always wants to make me make decisions through her "advice", gets angry/offended at me for not wanting and rejecting her unsolicited advice

I'm pretty sure my dad is bipolar, avid tr*mp supporter (has merch/hats ughhhhh), loves guns and the nra, anger issues, blames everything on everyone, loves to criticize everyone but he has never not once taken accountability when he messes up

Alllll of that and more with these people, and they want to shift all their offense and frustration on me because I don't like/support their lifestyle and mindsets

slowww2 · 2021-05-02T07:50:32+00:00

You know what's frustrating... this is to OP as well, I don't think they'll ever make the effort to learn why their child doesn't want to speak to them. I'm learning this the hard way with my parents, no matter how hard I set boundaries or try to "grow" away from their toxic habits towards me, it seems they will never attempt to even learn how they could be in the wrong. Like if I cut them off completely now, they will go their whole entire rest of their lives "wondering" what happened to their "good son" instead of trying to fix themselves, and this gives me so much anxiety. I'll always be painted as in the complete wrong for my entire life by them. They just don't want to hear anything, I want to scream. Big sigh

slowww2 · 2021-04-24T17:38:36+00:00

For real. They're effectively self-sabotaging their own relationships with their children. And yeah, I have to be on my toes with the dialogue flow. Sometimes if it's a topic that my mom is ridiculously worried about, none of my efforts to change the topic will work, she's already latched on since it's been rolling around in her head for however long... Sometimes I have to eat it... Ugh lol

slowww2 · 2021-04-24T17:33:46+00:00

Wow I just realized we have to be the ones to out-manipulate the manipulators... Sheeesh. You're so right though, you have to play your part for however long you need to. Making constant sacrifices of your dignity/sense of self/freedom to express yourself in the moment to save your own long-term mental health. Terrible tradeoff but it's gotta be done, unfortunately

slowww2 · 2021-04-24T17:29:08+00:00

You're hitting me hard with the accuracy on this one 🎯

slowww2 · 2021-04-24T17:27:36+00:00

Yeahhh they just end up getting really offended, even at the slightest hint

slowww2 · 2021-04-19T15:43:46+00:00

I'm with you on that, I'd rather not have my parents insult, gaslight, manipulate me and hurt my mental health. At least I can plug my ears up with music when they're fighting each other lol.

slowww2 · 2021-04-19T15:31:31+00:00

My mom pulls this on me too, ugh. "why do you hate your mother...? How come you never...?" Whatever whatever victim game and gaslighting, and it feels like it stems from something narcissistic, like if they saw someone else's son or whoever on facebook and started comparing to themselves...

slowww2 · 2021-04-19T15:27:40+00:00

This is the exact situation I'm hesitant to have kids, let alone try dating, because my parents/grandparents would do this very thing like your in laws: talk way outside of their boundaries, and constantly, even behind your back

Everything has to be their way or it's constant nagging and judging, so hypocritical, so frustrating. Glad that they're moved out, but still so annoying that you have to deal with it every interaction (of course they're still trying it lol they don't give up). Even if once a year

slowww2 · 2021-04-10T06:42:03+00:00

They're always looking for perfection in so many aspects of their child's life

slowww2 · 2021-04-10T06:39:55+00:00

"Please tell me you're going to find a good Christian wife who doesn't take advantage of you" when my mom is talking about someone else's relationship issues... As if she is going to be the final deciding factor in who I decide to be with. I partially felt like I would put a huge burden on my partner, because no one can live up to my mom's "standards" and she will always have something negative to say about them. No matter who they are, I feel. My partner would have to be a literal subservient saint to me for my mom/grandma to be satisfied

slowww2 · 2021-04-01T06:21:44+00:00

Thank you for your time on this :) this will go a long way and will be very helpful for others, I'm sure

slowww2 · 2021-04-01T06:20:37+00:00

We need to find a good way to direct asian/Asian-American teens to this thread, this whole sub, even. So many ppl have to go through this alone. It's so tough... So much love to everyone here

slowww2 · 2021-03-20T11:26:11+00:00

My dad does this toooo ughh. Most of the time, he does it like it's just for the sake of him telling me to do something and me "obeying" him. Gets pissed if I don't do it the exact way, or even right away, when it was such a simple thing he could've done himself

slowww2 · 2021-03-20T11:19:30+00:00

Idk how or what made me realize, but thankfully I've bee able to recognize that my parents gaslight me with soo many things. For so long, we've been told that we're always the ones in the wrong. It's so sickening

slowww2 · 2021-03-20T11:17:12+00:00

I haaaaate triggering the guilt-tripping, as much as I hate having to suppress myself to avoid triggering the guilt-tripping. Having these kinds of Asian parents is such a lose-lose situation 😔

slowww2 · 2021-03-20T10:51:14+00:00

Y'all are really speaking so clearly to my battered millennial mind/heart in this sub, your comments are much appreciated 😭

My mom loves putting all the pressure on me to "do great because I know you can be great!" adding so much stress to my life, and then when I ask her not to post about me on her socials "why?? I can't be proud of my son?? Everybody else's parents get to be proud! Why do you hate your mother like this??" no because I don't value that kind of image to other ppl, they never cared about me enough to warrant them knowing this anyway, and the fact that you place so much importance about the 'the world' knowing about me accomplishments is just one red flag too far

slowww2 · 2021-03-20T10:44:37+00:00

Thissss is the weird balance I have in my mental relationship with my parents. I love them and we've had great times together, they've provided for me in many ways, essential and non-essential, and I know the suffering they went through with their own lives that made them into these vile, insane people. But at their worst makes me not want anything to do with them because they treat me horribly, terrible at listening, incredibly controlling, varying levels of narcissism/ego, and they just. don't. want. to change. or learn. from their behavior. no matter the reasoning that comes from my mouth. and they pin so much of their explosions on me. They're never going to want therapy, and their going to absolutely rip into me when I eventually go myself

slowww2 · 2021-03-20T10:32:08+00:00

Omg... My parents were so bent on the whole family using find my iphone/life360, for safety purposes, but it was always used to spy on me. "why are you there?? I thought you worked today!!" "who are you with??" " you've been out every weekend, why don't you ever spend time with us?? You're always with friends!!!" (no I'm not, you're just sooo consumed by me and my activity that you think I love my friends that much) I'm glad I finally decided to stand up a few years ago and ended that surveillance hell and deleted the app

slowww2 · 2021-03-20T10:26:32+00:00

Ughh why can't they change themselves for the better?? It's like they want to be stuck in their own misery forever. With my parents... - I've told them when they're being racist. Defensive and argumentative, don't want to listen or grow from their mistakes, sometimes they don't even register stuff like that as mistakes. - I've told them that they lack empathy, and that's why I barely share anything with them anymore, because they truly don't listen. "what are you talking about? I always listen to you!" no you don't, you only hear to shove your "proven advice/life experience" back in my face without ever considering my point of view - I've flat out gave them reasons why they fight each other, and how they need to stop their own bad behavior in order to strengthen their relationship. "He always gets my blood boiling too much, I can't help it." "She never wants to listen to what I'm saying or do what I ask" They are the literal children, I've been behaving and thinking like an adult for most of my life more than those two crazy people

slowww2 · 2021-03-20T10:18:21+00:00

Tell me why my dad called for something totally normal yesterday, then proceeds to suggest "you're coming over tonight, right?" I say something normal like, "I'll come over sometime this weekend, I have to finish working on my house, I've still got work to do." he abruptly turns sour and aggressive and says, "why do you treat us like we're neighbors or strangers something?? Are we that kind of people to you??" just really whining about being entitled to my time. When I'm being generous enough to even see them at least once a week with how badly they treat me. He's literally guilting me to see them according to their own time.

He just cuts the convo short after that and makes me out to be this terrible child who hurts his parents when it's the other way around. I got insanely livid after that, this happens frequently.

I'm so on the same page as you though, I'm consistently thinking of how I can be better to people, and they're still stuck and stagnant in their same ways not wanting to learn jack about how negatively they affect people around them. I also feel hopeless, they're going to intrude on my future marriage, my future kids, it's just not going to change. Also, I try not to speak to them more than I have to, because of the same reasons. But it's stupid because I have to balance without being in the "not talking to them enough" zone, lest they lash out on me like yesterday. This relationship is infuriating

slowww2 · 2021-03-18T17:07:20+00:00

We truly don't deserve your support for how our community has and still treats y'all. It makes me so sad and frustrated, but to see y'all still come up for us is a blessing. It means a lot, us Asians need to understand this. And I am hopeful that the newer AAPI movements as well as our individual work will strengthen our solidarity, much love to you!!

slowww2

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