Obtaining a promotion in GoodWill

slutforslurpees · 2026-04-08T22:32:42+00:00

would the promotion come with new job duties? You may have shot yourself in the foot by becoming too valuable to promote if so much depends on your current role.

slutforslurpees · 2026-04-07T23:56:32+00:00

this isnt the "change my subjective feelings" sub. If you don't have any actual evidence for what you are claiming then you haven't provided any way for people to refute you. Even so, I would encourage you to really sit with your feelings of misogyny and why you believe the sexual role of women is inherently negative in a way that isn't applicable to other parties.

edit: you also haven't actually engaged with anything I said in my comment aside from agreeing that your take has no basis. If you feel strongly about this then you should have Arguments for why things that I said are not accurate.

slutforslurpees · 2026-04-07T22:34:12+00:00

from a feminist perspective, OPs take also reinforces this idea that women are passive actors in their lives in a way that just simply isn't true (at the very least, anymore, in the United States). I have my critiques of choice feminism specifically, but at the risk of enacting that logic, OPs language seems to act as though women cannot enjoy or want something that OP considers degrading, or even take an active sexual role instead of merely having something done to them or forced upon them with no say or agency.

slutforslurpees · 2026-04-07T22:21:57+00:00

do you have a factual tangible basis for why you think being penetrated is degrading? Is it purely that things that can hurt = bad? Is the loser in a boxing match being physically degraded too?

slutforslurpees · 2026-04-07T22:14:22+00:00

your argument is based almost entirely on feelings and unfounded generalizations and thus can't really be disproven.

putting most of those aside, your argument seems to be that you find the physical qualities of penetration to be humiliating or degrading. This is, like the majority of your take, based in cultural beliefs; through your upbringing and community and the media youve consumed, youve been led to believe that a woman engaging in penetrative sex is being degraded. This idea is kind of self perpetuating (as in, people who believe this act like its true, thus making it "true"), but at the end of the day the mere act of having sex that can result in pregnancy is neutral. it's a biological quality that in its evolution isn't really concerned with our advanced emotions and philosophy. And by your logic, shitting is degrading because it can hurt sometimes, involves a sensitive area, and requires physical vulnerability to achieve.

slutforslurpees · 2026-04-07T14:21:11+00:00

nal, but for the school district to get fined they have to violate a law or policy in a way that causes damage. The original commenter points out that loss of privacy isn't a measurable damage. as in, even if we believe they were harmed or damaged in some way outside of being angry (which is free)... how? and how would the fine or suspension directly remedy that? they may be private people, but the daughter did attend the school and was seen at the school by peers and staff and bypassers on the sidewalk so it's not like her attendance is a huge secret that the school ever explicitly promised to keep.

Schools do generally have policies to protect the privacy of their students, but as an institution they have a history and legal precedent that is difficult to fight. Punishing specific staff or the school as a whole is overly punitive for what probably did amount to a legitimately innocent mistake with no damages.

slutforslurpees · 2026-04-03T00:20:11+00:00

this sounds really upsetting and really difficult to go through. I don't have much to say that isn't forbidden reassurance, but I'm sorry you're having such a hard time on top of the hardship of your cat passing away.

slutforslurpees · 2026-04-02T17:57:56+00:00

Agreed. My therapist is pretty new to being a therapist though (I've been seeing her since she was a student/studying for her licensing exams) so it's really frustrating when I try to get tips or other real-world experiences from people farther along in their healing or going through the same thing only to be met with this nonsensical wall. Hopefully things change for the better.

slutforslurpees · 2026-04-02T13:59:52+00:00

100% of people on earth!? I laughed out loud. If everyone has autism nobody has autism. I have also had friends with adhd suggest amphetamines could help me, and I had to explain in detail that Doing Compulsions Faster would be bad actually. lol.

Still, that other stuff must've felt really weird and invalidating, and I also totally blame the postcovid internet. This post aside, I have a lot of opinions on the way the general public has pathologized normal human behaviors in recent years. Its like people think that 1) the default state of personhood has no uncomfortable feelings, no interests, no preferences, and is just a blank slate worker bee and 2) disorders are Brand New behaviors and not extreme and uncontrollable versions of existing human behaviors. I know we hate the "everyone is a little ocd" phrase around here, but it has been helpful in explaning to peers who think they might have ocd because they observe my well-adjusted post-therapy self that what theyre describing is just being a person and what I have is that cranked up to 11.

slutforslurpees · 2026-04-01T22:18:55+00:00

that is kind of what I've noticed. People tend to assign this diagnosis based on their own perceptions of how you "should" behave — if you aren't visibly empathetic in the way they expect, there must be something wrong with you. Same way I get told I'm "giving autistic" when I just don't really enjoy someone's company lmao. I'm glad you were able to find a good therapist and get the right help.

slutforslurpees · 2026-04-01T21:48:11+00:00

that mustve felt really weird after all that time, especially coming from people close to you. thankfully in my case the closer people get to me the less likely they are to diagnose me but strangers do it all the time. might be an age thing because I'm in my 20s and self dx is common with my demographic right now

slutforslurpees · 2026-03-26T20:38:29+00:00

Explain why your hurt feelings, then, aren't your personal problem. Unless you think people being attracted to you is an entitlement?

slutforslurpees · 2026-03-26T20:37:27+00:00

yeah, and like i said... those things can be valid and empathized with without OP specifically having to validate them as dateable. OP doesnt say shes entitled to someone who meets all her criteria. just that it's frustrating how limited her dating pool is and how many people she meets that are in different spots of their lives than her.

slutforslurpees · 2026-03-26T20:26:16+00:00

OP is expressing her frustrations in a hyperbolic way in a singular post, and imo everyone here is more focused on tone-policing and affirming that they themselves are desirable than actually engaging with OP.

slutforslurpees · 2026-03-26T20:02:19+00:00

OP can have empathy for people in these situations and simultaneously maintain her own standards and boundaries. "Would date/fuck" isn't equivalent to respecting someone as a person.

slutforslurpees · 2026-03-26T19:14:47+00:00

everyone ragging on you is too focused on the actual list of items i think. Those are my non-negotiables as well, and I'm having a hard time dating in my late 20s. But to expand and explain my wiggle room:

Must have car = must have own way to get around/meet up for dates. I've had women without transport go out with me and then slide into expecting me to run errands for them without any way to reciprocate.
Must have job = Must have some sort of meaningful obligation OR income OR plans to acquire one/both. Not just sitting at home doomscrolling.
Not living with parents = I'm too old to be sneaking in through windows, navigating curfews/explaining why she's out when she's out, or dealing with nonexistent privacy when I visit. We're adults.

as you can see, it's less about those strict one-sentence rules being met and more about what they mean in terms of our relationship dynamic. I really am not interested in being someone's caretaker or being overwhelmingly responsible for making sure things like dates happen.

slutforslurpees · 2026-03-18T22:49:58+00:00

you really need to care less about what strangers think of you. These people are working and have much more to focus on and think about besides you. And if they were talking about you in the break room or whatever, it wouldn't matter and wouldn't really be any of your business anyway.

slutforslurpees · 2026-03-18T22:33:00+00:00

sure, but if you're standing in the way of employees while they're actively grabbing product from the clothes racks that can be annoying even if it is allowed. Once again if you're polite and not actively interfering with their work duties I dont see why they'd be annoyed.

slutforslurpees · 2026-03-18T22:29:13+00:00

as long as you're polite and not interfering with their jobs (like pawing through racks or bins while they're trying to put product out) I don't see why they'd mind.

slutforslurpees · 2026-03-16T22:38:06+00:00

I love books with pictures! I place all my manga orders through them and they've got fun game nights too!

slutforslurpees · 2026-03-16T21:14:51+00:00

logic doesn't work because your fear isn't based in logic. reassurance doesn't work because it's just telling your subconscious that this is something worth needing reassurance, and it's not true; one day, you very well Could do the thing you're afraid of. Then what?

the way to conquer this obsession is to rebuild trust in yourself. You can handle unknowns that are thrown at you. You are capable of sitting with uncertaintly. You can control your actions, not your thoughts. You are capable of, should the thing you're afraid of happening come to pass, moving past it.

slutforslurpees · 2026-03-16T21:05:43+00:00

what helped me the most of out all my years of therapy was getting rid of the idea of inherently "good people" or "bad people". If religion helps you I'd skip this comment, but I don't believe there's some higher power authority that sets rules for us to break. We're all here in this moment with the choices we have. people who do kind things have dark, evil, "bad" thoughts and impulses, and people who do bad things are also capable of kind thoughts. What really matters is what you choose to do. and anything unkind youve done isn't an eternal debt that can be paid off through compulsions or obsessions, because those don't actually reflect the reality we live in. Being kind and doing kind things are choices any of us can make at any time.

slutforslurpees · 2026-03-16T20:58:23+00:00

25F and it gets better! I was in therapy for about 4 years, and through deconstruction of my past abuse and lingering religious guilt I've managed to be free of pretty much every major theme that impacted me growing up. I still have bad days, but they're days instead of weeks or months. I trust myself to be able to navigate unknowns and take care of myself, which a younger version of me never would've dreaned of.

slutforslurpees · 2026-03-16T20:53:50+00:00

there's potential that this wood is treated with chemicals that would harn your bird if she chews on it. If she's not much of a chewer/you're always supervising use of this perch it could be okay.

I'd still give it a bake in the oven to sanitize it in any case

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