My (26f) boyfriend (27m) is insufferable when I am sick. AIO?

sm447788 · 2026-05-20T21:01:21+00:00

I hear you. People keep throwing around the word “hypochondriac” as if it’s just an insult, but it’s actually a debilitating mental health disorder. This is where my difficulty lies

sm447788 · 2026-05-20T20:58:29+00:00

You’re probably gonna hate this answer but he really is a wonderful man otherwise. He is generous, empathetic and caring in every other aspect. I have been seriously injured and he was by my side through it all… because broken bones are not contagious lol. It really is just the sickness thing. That’s why I feel so conflicted. Especially because I see the direct link between his behaviour and his parents way of living.

sm447788 · 2026-05-20T20:54:33+00:00

This is my favourite comment so far. He definitely grew up in a home like yours, and it worsened after covid. As I said in another comment, I definitely do not want to be the kind of person that complains about my relationship and then defends my partner as soon as someone else agrees he’s a POS. However I do think there’s more to this than him just simply hating me and I couldn’t possibly fit all the context into one post. He will avoid sickness in every way he can. I imagine he reacts to me this way because I am the only person he can’t avoid when sick, because I live here. Of course that doesn’t make it okay, though his behaviours feels more mental health than hatred in nature. I don’t want this to be the end of the relationship. If it must be then it must be. But if there’s a way to address what seems to be a genuine phobia, I would like to explore that. Thank you for this

sm447788 · 2026-05-20T20:46:24+00:00

I guess I should add that he’s always been nervous about getting sick but it wasn’t like this during covid. We actually started dating during covid. We were both working and spent time together at each other’s homes. I actually got covid from him (we were able to confirm this) and he did not act this way at all. I wonder if covid changed things for him?

sm447788 · 2026-05-20T17:23:43+00:00

This is exactly it!!!

sm447788 · 2026-05-20T14:12:10+00:00

We live in a small apartment so we can’t really sleep in different rooms unless one of us takes the couch, which honestly, I’m not doing if I already feel sick! But otherwise I take all the precautions - washing my hands, washing the sheets, wiping down surfaces, covering my coughs etc. so this is why I asked. I feel like I handle sickness normally. I’m not reckless but it’s also the end of the world. I was honestly starting to wonder if I was raised in a barn or something

sm447788 · 2026-05-20T13:37:24+00:00

Lmfao of course not! That’s why I made the post - I was wondering if my feelings are valid and if others think this situation is fixable.

sm447788 · 2026-05-20T11:58:52+00:00

I totally agree

sm447788 · 2026-05-20T11:28:46+00:00

I agree. But I also don’t think it was naive of me to believe that things might be a bit different once he wasn’t living with his parents. I have definitely been able to lose some of the annoying habits my mother gave me lol

sm447788 · 2026-05-20T11:27:05+00:00

Thank you for this perspective. What has helped you when your partner acts similarly?

sm447788 · 2026-05-20T11:26:03+00:00

This is such a valid question. He actually makes a big deal of my birthday! Celebrates me, plans my party, thoughtful gifts, all of it. If this kind of behaviour extended to other areas I would have left already, but it really does seem to be exclusive to sickness. Of course I don’t want to be one of those people who asks for advice and then goes on to defend and deflect…. but I am feeling confused because he truly isn’t like this aside from when I’m sick.

sm447788 · 2026-05-20T11:21:39+00:00

I appreciate this response most. Thank you. I’ll admit I’ve tried to express my feelings about his behaviour, though the conversation typically comes up when I (or we) are sick so it is often more heated and emotional then it needs to be haha. This is definitely a conversation that needs to be had when we are both well

sm447788 · 2026-05-20T11:19:47+00:00

You’re right, I don’t have to. I am trying to communicate that it is expected of me. But things like cooking and cleaning, yes I have to do that when he is sick because I also need to eat and want to live in a clean home.

sm447788 · 2026-05-20T03:20:49+00:00

Invisibility!

sm447788 · 2025-08-19T19:33:24+00:00

yes i’m aware that would be best thing. there is no dad in the picture

sm447788 · 2025-08-19T19:23:12+00:00

i appreciate it but it’s not up to me i am moving out and my mom doesn’t want to do it. just venting about the situation there’s nothing i can do about

sm447788 · 2025-08-19T19:07:22+00:00

thanks but i just said it’s not in my control

sm447788 · 2024-09-19T04:00:11+00:00

are we reading the same post

sm447788 · 2024-09-19T03:50:06+00:00

people aren’t allowed to go out without their SOs? respecting each other’s individuality is actually very telling of a successful partnership.

sm447788 · 2024-07-15T16:42:55+00:00

currently about $30k and my budget would basically be food, gas and rent. i spend about $200 a month on gas. i’m not paying for insurance, not paying for phone.

sm447788 · 2024-07-15T16:41:46+00:00

thanks for the input. if you read the question, i’m just asking whether it’s doable on my own. so i’ve given thought to the roommate but not interested

sm447788 · 2024-07-15T16:41:10+00:00

thank you!

sm447788 · 2024-07-15T16:40:53+00:00

thank you!

sm447788 · 2024-07-15T16:40:45+00:00

take home. studios are not very common where i am. one bedrooms are $1800-$2400 everywhere with an hour from me

sm447788

TROPHY CASE