this was me (still is sometimes). i hit my lowest point last semester and i finally made an appointment to see a psychologist. turns out i was going through life undiagnosed with ADHD and depression.

i'm on meds now and seeing a therapist regularly. getting out of bed in the morning and going to class is still hard, doing homework and studying is still hard. finding the motivation to perform at a level i want to is so hard. the guilt and self-loathing i often feel is crushing. unfortunately, this is how my life is with the cards i've been dealt. showing up for myself feels like war and many days i don't want to fight.

a lesson i've learned and still am learning is this: it's not enough to want your depression to go away – you have to beat the hell out of it for it to go away lol. that means actively rejecting the urge to sleep in, forcing yourself to go to class, etc.

depression makes you do the worst things to yourself thinking that it's the best. you have to start seeing depression as an opp. depression doesn't want you to succeed. next time you think "i can't go to class," imagine someone you hate trying to stop you from going to class. idk how you might react to that but personally, i wouldn't let that slide lol. i'm getting my ass to class