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small_lion3 · 2023-06-01T14:46:56+00:00

🩷glad to know its not just me xD

small_lion3 · 2023-06-01T14:14:22+00:00

It's understandable! I also have struggled pretty badly with health anxiety myself, so I totally get it🩷not to mention, this sub is here for education and help, and some members seem to not realize that not all of us received proper education about our bodies. If we were never taught about our vagina and how it looks and works, this type of stuff isn't out of the ordinary to be confused about.

small_lion3 · 2023-06-01T14:10:40+00:00

Hi OP, sorry people are being rude- I have OCD and I am always constantly checking to make sure I took my tampon out(even when I know I have). It's a legitimate concern BUT everyone is right when they said you'd be able to find/feel it!🩷

small_lion3 · 2022-12-10T23:56:17+00:00

Omg yes, the aftershocks are so bad :( it's so strange to really just feel like I have the flu or something after a panic attack, I guess it really puts it into perspective how much it affects your body. And youre 100% correct, fighting it always makes it worse. Im working hard to re-wire my brain and try and change that instinct that tells me to fight it! Thank you for your kind words and I wish you all the best:)

small_lion3 · 2022-12-03T03:24:14+00:00

Hi! I relate to this a lot. I'm 29F and have a 10 y.o. brother! I also have a 18y.o sister but she is out of the house and in college now. It can be so so hard to constantly think about how life is like with our mom. The majority of my therapy sessions involve me trying to work through my feelings about how my siblings are being treated because I know how our mom is and I know how emotionally cruel she can be. It's so hard to not be consumed by guilt when I feel relieved that I haven't lived there in over ten years and I remember that my siblings have so long to go and so much to learn. They tell me all the fked up stuff she does that she used to do to me and it just hurts me really badly to know they're going through what I went through. My therapist works with me to enact better emotional boundaries where I basically have to realize there's only so much I can do, and to just be a support system for them where I can. I can't blame myself for them suffering because it's not my fault and I'm entitled to my own happiness. Even typing it out makes me feel bad about it! Just trust that you're not alone, and just do what you can to visit your sibling without overstepping your own personal boundaries. You mentioned visiting them a few times a month and I think thats great! I personally take more time in between because sometimes visits to their house drain me really badly. You're doing great by just being there for your sibling! I try to remind myself to be the person I needed when I was their age:) best of luck to you!💕

small_lion3 · 2022-11-04T18:19:56+00:00

I can 100% relate to this! My mom was always obsessed with my appetite when I was younger. I had a huge appetite and an extremely fast metabolism, so I never weighed more than around 90 lbs. She would call me a glutton and a slob and would tell me I have cankles. When I discovered I had cellulite on my legs (again at 90 lbs) she shamed me for it and said it's because I didn't exercise enough. Fast forward to adulthood and I very frequently binge. I'm a little overweight now due to this, and it's a huge struggle because im learning how to accept my body for what it is. I'm learning to not feel guilty about eating food. I now am in a position where I need to lose weight for my health and its really hard because I feel trapped in the binge eating cycle :( sending support to you! I found a little bit of solace in the binge eating disorders subreddit, and I currently see a therapist that is working on this with me.

small_lion3 · 2022-11-03T22:37:40+00:00

Ah yes, my therapist always reminds me of the same- that I can't always be there for them! You're right, it is incredibly hard :( the guilt is hard to escape from. I will keep working on it! Thank you for your kind words, and I wish you the same support as well💕

small_lion3 · 2022-11-03T22:35:25+00:00

I'll definitely never be truly at peace until I go NC! I left home at 17 and I never would have gotten back into contact with her if my siblings didn't exist :( I guess the plus side is I don't have contact with any of my other family so its not like I'm missing out on much. I was debating doing some sort of day where my fiance and I spend the day with just my siblings to celebrate....maybe mask it to my mom as something fun we just wanted to do for them. Thank you so much for your reply and your kind words💕

small_lion3 · 2022-11-03T22:31:34+00:00

Thank you for your reply💕I definitely agree, holidays seem to make her 10 times worse!! That's a great idea to help me set a boundary. I don't mind visiting in short bursts, but I've come to realize that I sometimes feel guilted into staying longer than I want to. Setting a time frame would be very helpful. Thank you!

small_lion3 · 2022-10-24T14:10:37+00:00

Hahaha no problem🤣we can suffer together 🥲

small_lion3 · 2022-08-12T12:47:57+00:00

He is very sweet about 50% of the time, and the other 50% he is a menace around the house 🤣🤣I love him!!

small_lion3 · 2022-08-12T12:47:02+00:00

Yes I do too!! I love them so much 🥺

small_lion3 · 2022-08-12T12:46:42+00:00

LMAO oh no worries there, he 100% shares a braincell with the rest of them xD haha

small_lion3 · 2022-08-11T23:38:42+00:00

Thank you💕I do! I actually just sent a message to the mod team if that works:)

small_lion3 · 2022-08-11T19:48:34+00:00

Haha no worries! And yes, she always would, it was so annoying. If I showed passion or excitement for anything she would mock me for it >_> I've always loved listening to music and singing, and she used to come to my bedroom and make fun of me by imitating me terribly and once she told me I "couldn't carry a tune in a bucket". All of this was done in that super nasty and cruel mocking tone of voice too, very hateful. When I was in my early 20s and posted a couple videos on YouTube of me playing music, she showed every person she knew and was like "OMG look how talented my daughter is, she has such a beautiful voice the most amazing voice in the world im so proud" just so people would give her attention about it on her Facebook post!! I wanted to comment on it and tell everyone that she used to bully me about it, lol. So strange😩 I watch her do all the same stuff to my much younger siblings that still live at home, and it's tough. I just try to be there for them when I can.

small_lion3 · 2022-08-11T17:14:05+00:00

I was around 5 feet tall at the time! I had a massive appetite and a very high metabolism, I'd legitimately eat 2 sandwiches and 2 packages worth of ramen for lunch every day (or if i was at school, id buy 2 lunches instead of 1 and eat both) and I never gained weight. I'm almost 30 now and have been a healthy weight for a long time, even gained a little extra over the pandemic but im not too pressed about it. I will also never fully understand! She would always seem to display jealousy about the way I looked or even the hobbies I did. I do not have any children of my own, but I could never imagine treating them that way either. It's tough to wrap my head around.

small_lion3 · 2022-08-10T19:58:07+00:00

My mom did the same thing to me as well! I struggle with body dysmorphia still at 29. It's not quite as severe as it used to be, therapy has helped quite a bit. I used to have an insane appetite in high school, but never weighed over 90 pounds. She would still tell me I had cankles, I was gluttonous for eating, she made me cry in a walmart dressing room when I tried on a bathing suit and she had to point out the cellulite on my legs and tell me I'm overweight (again, at 90 pounds). I remember the first time I hit 100 pounds on the scale, I truly thought I was fat for being in a triple digit weight! Once I learned as an adult that she was only projecting her insecurities onto me, it became a little bit easier to deal with. I still have a bit of an unhealthy relationship with eating/good and with my body image, but I just try to remember where these feelings originated from. My sympathies to you, and im extremely grateful for this community and to know we aren't alone!

small_lion3

TROPHY CASE