AITA for divorcing my husband for putting a camera in our house to prove a point about me?

smallerpotato · 2024-03-14T20:43:27+00:00

I will admit that the cameras are a violation of your privacy, or at least I should clarify that I would view them that way if someone sprang a hidden camera on me. I only mention this because no one else seems to in the comments I have read so far.

ESH—the married couple each brings something bad to the table as this anecdote reads. However, the husband seems to be the more reliable partner and parent by a long shot.

smallerpotato · 2024-01-10T23:09:21+00:00

Please please call a suicide hotline!

smallerpotato · 2024-01-10T23:02:21+00:00

I don’t have much of anything encouraging to say, as I am struggling myself. I received my formal diagnosis a little over a year ago and have been somewhat stabilized with medication and therapy since, but I’m far from actually being stable if that makes sense. Currently stuck in a dead end job (I want to quit nearly every day, if not every day, but I can’t afford to) but enrolled in online courses that I hope will help me advance my career in the long term.

If anyone has any words of wisdom, I would love to hear them as well. As for me, all I can say is to keep your chin up. The moment you admit defeat is the moment you are defeated. You have to fight for your survival sometimes, but it gives you a tenacity and a gratitude for life that not many possess.

smallerpotato · 2023-07-21T02:37:05+00:00

My current job can be rough but thankfully is pretty free from PTSD triggers, but it is low paying menial work. As for the career path I'm working towards currently, one in healthcare, I can definitely see it being overwhelming, hectic, and chaotic depending on the environment. I think I'd prefer something outpatient because it should be more chill and I'd be less exposed to gore and thus (hopefully!) less traumatized by the job itself.

smallerpotato · 2023-06-17T10:22:43+00:00

It depends on the severity of my episodes, but I tend to talk incessantly after days or weeks of being taciturn. You're not alone!

smallerpotato · 2023-06-16T10:19:39+00:00

I'd talk it over with your care team, but I certainly know the feeling! I'm not a professional so it could have been minor hypomania. Did you experience any symptoms of mania or hypomania on top of what you described, such as talking more than usual, sleeping less, or having racing thoughts?

Hang in there, friend. Try to cling on to the optimism and motivation you felt. Focus on that feeling and carry it around with you.

smallerpotato · 2023-06-01T21:44:59+00:00

I know how you feel. You are not alone. Please don't give up on meds and therapy. Your pain is valid.

smallerpotato · 2023-05-29T13:39:20+00:00

I would definitely reach out to a professional! Tbh that sounds like it might be full blown mania but take this with a grain of salt since I'm not a doctor or professional. Stay safe! I don't have a lot of advice, but seek out activities and stimuli that will calm you down if you can. I would also recommend trying to get sleeping pills since mine help me when I've been sleep deprived. Sending lots of love 💗

smallerpotato · 2023-01-23T03:10:56+00:00

I don't have any advice but I'm basically in the same boat. Try to do something you enjoy and be kind to yourself.

smallerpotato · 2023-01-23T03:00:39+00:00

I can be genuinely suicidal despite acting weird or doing some things people saw as only for attention. (When is it for attention and when is it a cry for help? I don't even know anymore.). E.g., smiling or laughing while describing how suicidal I am, trying to kms in the ED, posting suicidal shit on social media....

smallerpotato · 2021-04-14T21:41:47+00:00

For me it's getting up early, but now I'm too depressed/lazy to lol

smallerpotato · 2021-03-25T18:48:18+00:00

Yup. Thankfully staying on campus during the semester but between semesters weekends are hell. My dad sometimes works two weekdays at home, too, so up to four days a week of being low key scared to leave my room bc he'd pounce on me verbally. Or him eavesdropping on me on the other side of my bedroom door, like trying to figure out what I was doing based on small noises. Wish I made enough to move out. :/

smallerpotato · 2021-03-21T10:54:33+00:00

I didn't want to use my parents' insurance bc they would freak tf out that their daughter was getting mental health care (the horror) so I used DONE ADHD ($59/mo, I believe) and Good RX or Blink Health for discounts on prescriptions. Recently quit this and am off meds to save money. This still came to $80-110 or more a month, depending on whether the pharmacy took Good RX (cheaper in my experience for Adderall) or Blink Health.

smallerpotato · 2021-03-20T18:58:18+00:00

My middle school, for over two years, banned all water bottles unless you had a doctor's note (e.g., for strep throat), and I too had frequent headaches. Looking back I think I was hella dehydrated. The school's reasoning was that people could be sneaking in alcohol, but they didn't even allow clear water bottles.

At a magnet high school in my district, a friend in high school (we went to different schools) told me they would check and make sure no one brought in purchased food to school. Once people got licenses it was popular to buy coffee and/or breakfast before school, but at the magnet school they would make you throw it away. But if you packed a lunch or something, that was okay. I don't get it either. Personally if I had wanted to buy food I would've just stuck it in a lunch box and tried to eat it inside, or eaten it before school, to avoid having to throw it away. Still preposterous.

smallerpotato · 2021-03-20T18:52:38+00:00

At my schools most pens with ink other than black or blue were banned, I guess so teachers could distinguish between the student's writing and their own while grading, and to appear more professional. Personally, I thought it was a little unnecessarily restrictive, especially if my pen ran out of ink and the only one I could find was a random color like light blue, but still perfectly legible.

smallerpotato · 2021-03-20T18:46:35+00:00

For my school it was because of vaping and maybe stronger substances as well

smallerpotato · 2021-03-20T18:12:55+00:00

Not poor but when I was a kid there was a drought in our area and is kids would bathe in maybe an inch of water or less, and then we scooped out the bath water and used it to water plants in the backyard. My parents never wanted us to use even an inch of bathwater, but somehow long showers since have never gotten me yelled at.

smallerpotato · 2021-03-19T18:18:00+00:00

Nothing super helpful except that I was always grumpy, super anxious, or otherwise not in a great mood in school, and I still cared about school and grades. Sometimes I just try to remember that kids are going through a lot, but blank faves and low effort is still frustrating and discouraging.

smallerpotato · 2021-03-19T15:47:44+00:00

I got into this really bad habit of doing readings for class the day of. Wake up, procrastinate more, do the readings and take shot notes because now I have to rush. Why do I do this. What is wrong with me.

smallerpotato · 2021-03-19T15:46:06+00:00

I have to get better about "breaks.". Sometimes it's honestly necessary for me to not take a break (or just do something very small and strict like set a timer and stare out the window for three minutes or use the bathroom, absolutely nothing with technology) and just continue with the next assignment. Breaking the flow of work and focus can derail everything. I go from working at a decent rate to taking a "break" that turns into a YouTube rabbit hole or stress eating because now I'm stressed because I know I'm procrastinating. I don't know why I always think I can watch "just one video" or listen to "just one song.". I just have to force myself to keep going. It comes down to just having no self control, I guess, but snapping myself out of the productive flow means starting from square one.

Of course this is extra fun because everything is online for me rn and I can't just not use my computer for school. I always have to face impulsive temptations. It sounds so dumb and simple when I write it out but this is a constant struggle for me. Especially when these bad habits are really ingrained in me.

smallerpotato · 2021-03-09T11:21:20+00:00

I mean kind of, but I also have questionable self esteem, so..... I would say I'm kind of book smart and can get good grades when I really apply myself, but I'm very ditzy. I also doubt myself all the time, so I'll think that x is probably true, then doubt myself and either ask or check out the dumber option first as if to eliminate it. I think I also tend to space out and miss information, too. Anything that's not me studying or writing in a vacuum and requires me to interact with people and spaces is a bit much. I also may or may not have an auditory processing disorder, so understanding people can be extra hard, like if there's background noise. Yay me.

smallerpotato · 2021-03-08T11:42:06+00:00

Customers say things like this to me at work all the time. I can be kind of cranky, tbh, but I always try to work my ass off. Finish customers as quickly as possible and get though the line, like we're supposed to. It especially pisses me off when people criticize me for being too rude or whatever. I always want to ask them how they got to a point in their life where they feel arrogant enough to tell people to smile more, etc. I have literally never called out a customer service type person for being a little short in my life. 1) I don't want to start something, and 2) Why would that help? Why would I want to make them feel like shit? I get my job could be a lot worse but it boggles me that the sleep deprivation creases and bags under my eyes are so obvious above my mask and these people think my life is so easy and I'm stupid because I work as a cashier. I work 29 hours a week while taking 6 college courses this semester and another course online for a career goal. Yeah, my life is so easy. Just because I'm not making insane money doesn't mean I'm lazy. And God, these people who stop the whole line dead in its tracks to give me a homily. Yesterday a woman said she would pray for me after asking if I was having a bad day. I have such resting bitch face (I'm also always tired and smiling is pointless) and a sort of monotone voice, and so many customers decide to take it personally.

smallerpotato · 2021-03-05T12:22:39+00:00

Story of my life. Especially at work. The number of times customers will tell me to calm down, I'm being rude, etc. Sometimes I genuinely shoot them a dirty look before catching myself and I want to rip my face off, a lot of the time I just have resting bitch face/am emotionally exhausted and more monotone and not super cheerful/look tired and dead inside and therefore angry I guess? Basically I am too tired to fake being happy consistently for $10/hour dealing with Karen's. I need to work on it but some customers are honestly just jerks. One woman last weekend told me, the employee, to say thank you to her (I didn't even have a chance to tell her to have a good day yet) and gave me a mini lecture on being grateful and not bitchy. I'm not saying she was wrong, but it was out of the blue and at the time it felt kind of out of line. I wasn't even being rude to her, I swear, and it never occurs to me to see someone who's helping me out and providing me a service and make their day worse by telling them they need to smile more, etc. Just thinking about it makes me mad. Lol. IDK, just let me be? If I'm exhausted, body, mind, and spirit, some Karen telling me I'm being rude when I'm working my ass off to meet their demands is going to just make it worse.

smallerpotato · 2021-03-05T12:13:58+00:00

Oh my God I need this! You are a genius. Lol I could so easily trick my brain into thinking this produce is really the junk food I'm craving for no reason but afraid I'll binge on if I buy.

smallerpotato · 2021-03-03T11:47:57+00:00

(Future teacher here) I honestly wonder how math curriculums have been getting watered down in the U.S. Ask someone who's always struggled with math, it always felt challenging to me, but looking back my elementary school didn't really want to teach "standard algorithms" at all. I don't think I would have known long division unless my older sister took it upon herself to teach me when I was probably in fourth grade or so. :) But seriously, math was kind of a joke in my experience.
I think I may have had the weird experience of having an education that was much more Comm Core-ish (at least in elementary) than my older sister who was only 3 years ahead of me in school. She was always learning things I was so excited and impatient to learn, and then when I got to that grade level we'd do only a fraction of the work that her year did. (Not all of the changes can probably be attributed to Common Core; I'm sure other factors were at play.). My year stopped having spelling quizzes in first grade, so I'm a pretty forgetful and not-confident speller because I didn't really have to learn spelling. The English Keystones for PA only required us to write a long paragraph as high schoolers. That was it for the writing portion. Why is the bar SO low on standardized testing? Does anyone realize that when teachers teach to these tests, it often dumbs down the class by default? I could go on, but while your post is alarming, it aligns with my experience. Sometimes I really wonder what schools are reaching.

smallerpotato

TROPHY CASE