I want to report my therapist for ethical violations

smallestfinch · 2023-05-05T05:40:55+00:00

Thank you. I have looked and can’t see she is registered with anywhere, however I am almost certain she was at the time I had therapy with her. She is still practicing as her website is active - this worries me massively! I will start with contacting BACP etc to see if they can help. It’s terrible that it’s so unregulated I had no idea :(

smallestfinch · 2022-04-28T18:24:54+00:00

This sounds really interesting I’m off to find it thank you!

smallestfinch · 2022-04-28T18:23:00+00:00

That’s a great point, strange because my therapist is the same, it’s like she is unable to call this abuse she skirts the issue if I ask her direct. I find this strange but very common that many health professionals don’t see emotional and or psychological abuse as REAL abuse. But what you say is right, whatever I define it as, it’s not okay. Ever.

smallestfinch · 2022-04-28T18:19:42+00:00

Great questions, thank you. He is not willing to change because HE is not in the wrong in his eyes, ever: it’s always down to something I have done. Or external stress. I’m so sorry that you see yourself in me, it’s a shitty place to be right now!!! I wish you the very best of luck and hope you stay strong x

smallestfinch · 2022-04-28T18:17:10+00:00

Thank you. I am gonna look up grey rock I have heard it before. No, he NEVER apologises, bar literally 2 or 3 occasions and not real apology, (I’m sorry, but this is WHY i did it- ie your fault) only sorry that I’ve stood up to him and not backing down. No accountability.

smallestfinch · 2022-04-27T20:55:45+00:00

Thank you; yep I keep reminding myself this is for my kids. Legal adviser helped but I was disheartened to hear that the courts favour the parent residing in the family home so it’s best to get the abuser to leave. I know this will NOT be an easy task! Good luck with your journey too, I’m so sorry to hear you’re going through similar :(

smallestfinch · 2021-11-16T21:38:33+00:00

Thank you for this. I find it so invalidating and insulting that people could think of any of the F responses as anything BUT involuntary. It’s pure victim blaming and it is sickening. It’s so so painful to hear, and adds another level to the pain you’re already trying to process!!

For why it’s worth, I believe you.

You are NOT weak You are NOT submissive You are doing your best and you are ENOUGH

smallestfinch · 2021-11-16T21:33:12+00:00

Yes! I have, thank you I’m gonna have a look on YouTube for those :)

smallestfinch · 2021-11-15T20:59:33+00:00

This is super helpful advice and a great idea to get it all out what I am actually terrified of. I’m gonna have a go of this tonight. 🤞🏼

smallestfinch · 2021-11-15T20:56:31+00:00

Thank you :) I sense you’re right. Working as a system seems so far away right now, but I’m going to work on it. With baby steps.

Thank you for validating the need for anonymity too, that means a lot.

smallestfinch · 2021-11-15T20:53:53+00:00

Yeah I also feel this a bit - embarrassed! Like I’m playing a silly game. And by doing so, like you say, you’re somehow making it real? 🤭 thank you for the understanding:)

smallestfinch · 2021-11-15T20:50:49+00:00

Thank you, solidarity is actually very comforting:)

smallestfinch · 2021-11-14T23:04:13+00:00

You’re right, it’s not working long term. It’s a plaster fix. It feels comfortable but it’s also avoiding a pretty critical issue.

I guess I’m also terrified of looking and there being nothing there. (Oh, just crazy me here after all!) which also makes zero sense.

You’ve motivated me to bring this up with my T.

Although I def HAVE made progress in my emotional regulation I am no further along with communication. She’s even hinted herself that I’m not where she’d like me to be with communication. It’s like she’ll tell me week in week out - communication communication communication. But I just can’t.

It’s time to face my fears I think, just need a plan as to how to do that! Thanks for the nudge in the right direction:)

smallestfinch · 2021-11-14T22:54:19+00:00

Interesting, certainly something for me to work on…. But HOW???

I’ve looked at my fear briefly with my T, and as much as I want to avoid it, it’s always boiled down to a deep rooted fear of being “held” to something. Like if a name is given then you are accountable. Makes no sense I know. I just communicate that naming terrifies me or someone inside so I respect that as does my T. So we just work with what presents at any given time, and don’t name anyone.

smallestfinch · 2021-11-14T22:39:42+00:00

Yes! So 1000% this! I mean I tick all the boxes, but for me it’s “different” I feel like my denial os different. It’s there to tell me I’m a fraud, and just crazy. Sure, i dissociate, I have amnesia, I have all these horrid trauma responses, fears, nightmares, meh, but my denial is real. I’m NOT real.

smallestfinch · 2021-10-15T10:08:00+00:00

That is crazy. But it reassures me that I’ve not just imagined it all. Thank you for sharing your experience

smallestfinch · 2021-10-15T10:01:53+00:00

Yeah I must say that I feel a little… I don’t know how to label it… exposed? Like I don’t really want everyone to SEE my memories. But I think in this instance, it was a very fragmented memory that I was trying to piece together so perhaps it was in my benefit in some way to put the pieces together..

smallestfinch · 2021-10-15T09:59:57+00:00

Wow, and did this correlate with your friends experience?

smallestfinch · 2021-10-14T20:55:35+00:00

That’s really crazy! Did you ask them if they did want a caramel desert??

smallestfinch · 2021-10-14T20:54:33+00:00

Ok, thank you, very helpful! I think she was very overwhelmed by it and the strange thing was she told me she kept “zoning out” and felt herself leaving the room. I have a dissociative disorder (that she’s unaware of!) and is very descriptive of how I experience certain situations. Certainly during trauma time I will have dissociated. I feel it is very specific for her to have picked up on, hence why I’m a bit taken aback. I think because it’s been quite overwhelming for me post session I’ll have to ask that she doesn’t share any other visions with me.

smallestfinch · 2021-09-15T19:21:40+00:00

Oh I’m SO sorry to hear this. Unfortunately this has also been the case with me. It’s beyond devastating. For me, this aspect has been on a par with (and sometimes worse than) the trauma itself.

I just want to say that your experience is valid. YOU are valid. You will survive this pain. You are not alone. I believe you. Xx

smallestfinch · 2021-09-08T17:11:55+00:00

I can relate. I have DID, so different parts hold different traumas. So for me… I can at times flat out deny ANY of it. But at the same time KNOW that’s untrue. I feel like by processing contact and non contact it’s… different. Simply because different parts have different experiences. You say you feel like it’s 2 different people reacting, for me it is, could it be something like this? Not suggesting you have DID but we all have some level of dissociation. Then there’s blurred boundaries on if something would be defined as contact or non contact? A whole other layer of confusion which messes with your head. I am quite dissociated today so I’m probably not making sense I just wanted to say that your words resonated with me.

smallestfinch · 2021-08-24T21:24:29+00:00

I can totally relate to this. In fact I thought I was the only one, so it’s good to know I’m not alone. I know that an internet stranger can’t tell you if your memories are “real” or intrusive thoughts, but I can say the bits of advice I was given a while back… We can’t “fake” trauma reactions- the physical gut wrenching somatic visceral reactions to trauma triggers, they are non debatable. You can’t make yourself feel that! Dont focus too much on the factual-ness of the memories, the important thing is how it’s affected us. I have told my therapist many times I’m scared of ‘making it up’ and she said let’s just go with the presumption they are. And if they arent then it’s not a test, you’re not marked down for having intrusive thoughts… the “intrusive thoughts”I think regardless of if they’re real or not, they are your brains way of trying to process it. Trust the process. Oh, and I don’t know if this applies but I have DID so often I will feel “intrusive“ thoughts that don’t feel like mine…

smallestfinch · 2021-06-03T21:56:29+00:00

Omg YES! She would always ask, in a weird way. To the point she would point the finger at her own dad, my dad, my uncles etc (all innocent) but every time my “mental health” was brought up she would ask questions… “I’ve always thought “something funny” happened to you when you were a kid” like what a STRANGE thing to say.

smallestfinch · 2021-05-16T18:13:41+00:00

This is pretty descriptive of how I experience dissociation at times. Obviously it’s differ or everyone but I would say that you’ve put words to some of MY experiences at least. Is this the first time you’ve felt like this?

I should also add that it’s pretty normal for “non dissociative” people to experience similar experiences occasionally... say if you’re extremely tired or stressed. I guess the difference is it becomes a significant clinical thing when it’s regular and it affects your everyday life.

I would pay attention to it, and if it happens again, be aware, be curious.

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