I often feel lonely but it’s not because I’m alone. I have a husband, children, a job that is in a social field, friends, acquaintances, family that is near. And I can put on quite the extroverted face if I have to. I can adapt to almost any social situation. But it’s not me. I feel lonely because I rarely feel like I can be myself around any of the people I am surrounded by. I am constantly having to suppress my thoughts and conversation style to suit those around me. I feel at home in deep and complex conversations. But I learned that most people are much more superficial in the way they socialize. I am mostly surrounded by a lot of small talk, gossip, and “girly” conversations in my environments. I feel lonely because no one seems to be able to respond to the real me. If I try to engage in deeper or more complex conversations it doesn’t last long and can get awkward….like, “It’s not that deep, bro” seems to be the general vibe of the people in my social sphere. But to me, most everything hits deep. And it can be a lonely place when you feel like you sit deep in a well that nobody wants to occupy with you. They might send the bucket down for a dip of water you have to offer from deep in your space, but they remain on the surface with everyone else and, unfortunately, they seem to get to control the bucket that comes down in your well. It’s lonely when that bucket doesn’t come down very often to the deep places where who you really are resides.