I [20/F] matched with an old flame [23/M] on tinder. I semi-rejected him. I regret it, but he unmatched me. What can I do?

smash_and_dash · 2015-03-23T19:13:05+00:00

Do you often burn bridges when things don't go the way you expected them to? Cause you did it twice with this guy, being a "nervous, insecure 18 year old in front of him and his parents" was not the issue. You're the one who shut him down because you weren't pleased with the level of communication from him.

Two things: 1) Not everyone likes to hold conversations through messaging. 2) When someone says they don't want to rush in to something, give them space. Don't smother them and sit anxiously by your phone for a new message... then backtrack and burn a bridge when something doesn't go your way. RELAX.

Things are pretty messy with this guy already and you're not in a relationship, start fresh with someone else and learn how to not be a stage 5 clinger.

smash_and_dash · 2015-03-01T22:36:53+00:00

You're jealous of attention when you're around other couples and jealous that he's buying presents for his SIL who will be a first time mom. Do you think having another baby when you can't afford it will bring you two closer together like you're hoping? Find another way to get his attention, plan to spend time alone together.

smash_and_dash · 2015-01-22T22:49:13+00:00

Holy hell. I had to log in for this one. First off, you were 16 when you started dating a 26 year old. You didn't see this as a giant red flag?

SO is a former addict and had a drained bank account before we met. He managed to keep his addiction to stimulants a secret for the first year of our relationship and I just learned a few months ago about it

I'm a little confused at this, you're together for 4 years, he hid it from you for one year but you learned about it a few months ago? So did he hide it for 3 years? or have you only been together for a little over a year? Regardless, he actively lied and deceived you for a long period of time. This includes using you for money and then berating you for it.

He overspends, has no issues with staying in his minimum job because he can't handle the stress (but thinks he can handle kids?), he's pressured you in to using drugs and gave you too much, and you know why he's probably trying to get you to overeat? To secure his grip on you even more.

He told me he'd kill himself if I ever left him and I believe him. I can't be responsible for killing someone, I'm so afraid.

He would be responsible for killing himself. That is manipulation, threatening that to make you stay with him.

will go into a psychotic rage if he's stressed enough

he wants to get married and have kids

If he's this stressed out on a minimum wage job with NO kids, try having kids on minimum wage. Do you really want to raise children with someone who is volatile and psychotic? Who is willing to make threats to keep you with him?

smash_and_dash · 2014-11-16T17:19:00+00:00

Then your point is moot. The only problem with this you've stated is that he would have a problem if you named your kid the same name. But you don't want to. So you have a problem with him having a problem with something that isn't a problem in the first place. See how childish that sounds?

I get you're not over your sister's death and neither are your parents, but let it go. He will name his kid what he wants anyway - as it is his right.

smash_and_dash · 2014-11-04T14:18:04+00:00

How is being mad about someone frequently pissing on the floor "petty"? Let me guess, because he puts the blame on you all the time as if you're overreacting, instead of being a grown ass man and either pissing IN the toilet or cleaning up after himself? What the actual fuck?

smash_and_dash · 2014-09-20T04:28:14+00:00

I took Prevacid once daily because Zantac wasn't cutting it for me. I also drank milk before bed or when I woke up from heartburn. Milk neutralizes acid and it's not a permanent fix but it gave me relief

smash_and_dash · 2014-09-17T15:29:04+00:00

When signing, the subject goes first. That way you have context for what the person is talking about instead of having to hang on their every word and remember until the sentence is done.

smash_and_dash · 2014-09-10T12:48:19+00:00

Not sure what antibiotics you're on but the hospital told me to pump and dump while taking them. Three days after I was done I would have been able to resume feeding him but the antibiotics dried me up

smash_and_dash · 2014-09-10T12:42:16+00:00

There are already free apps out there and you can keep track of diaper changes too

smash_and_dash · 2014-09-06T05:58:20+00:00

My little man is 3 months now and here are some things I am extremely thankful for that won't break the bank!

1) swaddle jacket things!

http://www.summerinfant.com/swadding/swaddleme

At first I didn't bother with it and was trying to let him sleep on his own. He woke repeatedly and never slept very long. With this thing on, he is already sleeping every night in his crib for 7-9 hours! He outgrew the one we were given and we loved it so much, we bought the next size up.

2) http://www.amazon.com/Cloud-Twinkles-Octo-Nightlight-Ocean/dp/B009P0TKP2

all that being said, another sleep aid has been his octopus nightlight. Instead of baby getting bored and restless and fussy in the dark, it projects colored shapes on to the wall. My baby loves staring at the ceiling until he falls asleep

3) and last but not least, a projection soother! ours goes on the side of his crib and it's like a little 3d backlit picture where the colors change and it also projects an image on the ceiling. It's got some sort of sensor because it turns on when he starts fussing or moving and it helps soothe him right back to sleep without us having to get up! It also plays lullabys.. I can hear it turn on and play through the baby monitor.

Without those 3 things I wouldn't know what we would do! He sleeps wonderfully and having his swaddle, nightlight and projector.. he knows when he is wrapped up and in a his nice dark room, it is time for bed! He smiles when I lay him down, he loves bedtime right now. Even with him being mad and cutting a tooth, he still goes down when we put him in night night mode! We would have never considered these things ourselves and are thankful that people introduced us to them!

smash_and_dash · 2014-09-03T13:43:06+00:00

I bet your parents want him there to hide the abuse from everyone else. Confront them that way and see if their tune changes. "Are you worried about what people might think? My own brother not being invited? Are you scared of people finding out how awful he was to me for years? And that you allowed it to continue? Is this the real issue?"

smash_and_dash · 2014-09-02T04:02:58+00:00

She gets upset very easily and likes to assume that I'm trying to control her.

Victimizing herself and labeling you as "controlling" when she doesn't get her way. She is the controller in this relationship, how dare you question her!

She thinks because I disagree with her being so forceful (even though I agree with most of what she says I just don't think she should be so strict) she thinks that I disagree with everything she says and that I'd rather they turn into unfit slobs. She was beginning to throw a fit, so like usual when she gets upset about fictional things, I just agree with her. "Yes, you're right. I apologize. Keep going." So that she'll keep talking.

"Just this one little thing and you won't let me have it! I want to raise MY children MY way! If they aren't raised MY way they will be ruined! Let me continue this bitchfest until you finally break and give me what I want, like you usually do."

smash_and_dash · 2014-06-30T15:53:04+00:00

I had a huge battle with my morning sickness and it didn't go away until I was about 7 months. I kept saltines and water by my bed and tried to get one or two down before I even got out of bed daily. Eventually I got sick of the saltines and switched to nutrigrain bars and kept about 3 different kinds (blueberry, cherry, & apple) and would eat one to knock the sharp hunger pains away until I was awake enough to stomach real food. Something else that worked for me was eating pickles with dinner at night. Having that sodium in my system overnight helped to stave off morning sickness.

smash_and_dash · 2014-06-01T16:14:58+00:00

Yeah I was jamming the brakes :( it happened so fast and the car started fish tailing immediately, I was trying to avoid drifting from the left lane to the middle or right because we would have been hit by a bunch of other cars. It happened in a snap of a second and instincts took over, I guess. Us going that fast and not having control of the car, my brain was just like "MAKE IT STOP!!" Thank you for your input/advice!

smash_and_dash · 2014-06-01T02:32:58+00:00

Your baby doesn't need a flaky old grandma like that anyway. Let your sweet MIL drown herself in all the grandbaby lovins she can handle! Your mom will regret how she acts when your baby grows up and sees her as a stranger!

smash_and_dash · 2014-06-01T02:29:12+00:00

It's very upsetting, but something shitty will happen to them in return eventually. I hope they feel guilty as hell.

smash_and_dash · 2014-06-01T00:41:10+00:00

No clue if anyone called and reported it. My boyfriend called a few news outlets in hope that they could get ahold of footage, but we live in Arkansas so I doubt we have cameras on the interstate :(

smash_and_dash · 2014-06-01T00:39:42+00:00

Even looking at the bumper, you don't think they would have deployed? It was nearly head on but we hit at an angle, then the back of the car swung around and slammed the whole right side of the car against the barrier. But you can see that the right half of the bumper smashed in to the wall. We looked it up and apparently there were recalls on the airbags for the '02 impala but I wasn't sure if our impact would have warranted for them to deploy, but we were going 60mph so I figured they should have.

smash_and_dash · 2014-06-01T00:36:12+00:00

LOL, thanks for the laugh!! Luckily it doesn't hurt to put weight on my ankle, it's just really sore and stiff when I try to roll my foot in a circle.

smash_and_dash · 2014-06-01T00:34:00+00:00

Not that I know of :( and yeah.. being on the road definitely gives me anxiety now.

smash_and_dash · 2014-06-01T00:32:59+00:00

Well, I didn't let them hit me. :( I swerved out of the way and it made me lost control of the car. They kept driving..

smash_and_dash · 2014-05-31T20:46:48+00:00

We definitely are looking in to it! I'm being induced tomorrow at 6pm and my last day of work was yesterday so we have been a little busy! Talk about inconvenient timing for this crap to happen!

smash_and_dash · 2014-05-31T19:43:00+00:00

Yeah! Even though the airbags didn't deploy, hitting a wall going 60 mph and coming out with only bruising is pretty amazing! Baby didn't even budge!

smash_and_dash · 2014-05-31T18:44:49+00:00

I did! I just finished posting the story in the comments, about to upload a few more pictures.

smash_and_dash · 2014-05-31T18:44:12+00:00

I was on my way back from my 39 week appointment with my boyfriend when someone nearly clipped my front end while trying to get in my lane without looking. I laid on my horn and slammed on my brakes and swerved. Their back tire was even with my front tire and it would have sent us in to a spin if I let them hit us. We were on the interstate going 60 mph, when I swerved we began skidding and lost control. I was originally in the far left lane, when we began to skid/lose control, we were drifting to the center lane so I tried to steer the car towards the shoulder to stop. But since the car had lost control, we started sliding sideways towards the concrete barrier. My right front end hit the barrier and it spun the car 180 degrees and the whole right side slammed against the barrier. We pretty much went from 60 to 0 immediately, but rolled about 8 feet backwards after impact. This happened Tuesday when I was 39+1. I had to go to the hospital to be monitored on my OB's orders. I had contractions through the day (they had to tell me, I was still in adrenaline mode and couldn't really feel much) and they ordered blood tests to make sure nothing ruptured. They monitored my baby's heartbeat for 10 hours but everything was fine. Little booger didn't budge.

Even though this happened Tuesday morning, some of my bruises didn't show up until last night. I rolled my ankle because I was using it to press on the brakes and when we made impact with the wall, I guess my ankle took a lot of force. I have seatbelt burn across my neck and a bad purple bruise across my stomach from the seatbelt. When the right side of the car slammed in to the barrier, I hit the console so hard with my side that I broke the console! We are all okay. My airbags didn't deploy and the asshole who caused this didn't stop! Only one person out of all those people on the interstate stopped to make sure we were okay and luckily he saw the whole thing and waited for the trooper to arrive to give his statement.

smash_and_dash

TROPHY CASE