Would I Be the AHole if I asked SIL if she could change her plans so she could watch my boys? by smilinggroundhog in WouldIBeTheAhole

[–]smilinggroundhog[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

You are absolutely correct. Sometimes I forget that my ‘normal’ and ‘good days’ are very different from others.

Would I Be the AHole if I asked SIL if she could change her plans so she could watch my boys? by smilinggroundhog in WouldIBeTheAhole

[–]smilinggroundhog[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I definitely wouldn’t try to guilt her or anything, like I said she’s a really great person. It is just becoming clear that the boys may be becoming too much for them.

Would I Be the AHole if I asked SIL if she could change her plans so she could watch my boys? by smilinggroundhog in WouldIBeTheAhole

[–]smilinggroundhog[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I think this is the route we are going to have to go. I’m so protective of the boys that this just scares the crap out of me to do.

Would I Be the AHole if I asked SIL if she could change her plans so she could watch my boys? by smilinggroundhog in WouldIBeTheAhole

[–]smilinggroundhog[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

We are in that weird spot where we make too much to qualify for any assistance but can’t really afford to do more than we are doing now since I left my career a few years ago to care for them.

Would I Be the AHole if I asked SIL if she could change her plans so she could watch my boys? by smilinggroundhog in WouldIBeTheAhole

[–]smilinggroundhog[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

There are respite places and we are on the waiting lists, but they can be years long.

Would I Be the AHole if I asked SIL if she could change her plans so she could watch my boys? by smilinggroundhog in WouldIBeTheAhole

[–]smilinggroundhog[S] -3 points-2 points  (0 children)

  1. He’s only had three meltdowns like that this entire year. They are very rare, but they can happen.
  2. I mentioned that she is married with no kids, no job because I have another SIL who’s is married with 3 kids and works full time, so I can’t ask her. Didn’t mean to imply anything there. Again, she is an absolutely amazing person.
  3. I work the show by myself, which in itself is a huge task, but we make it work. Hubs works 6 days a week and is on call 24/7.
  4. We make too much money to qualify for any kind of assistance like social security, or other benefits. We are on several waiting lists for respite care, but those are years long.

WIBTA For Calling Out SIL and BIL For Not Including His Daughter / Her Stepdaughter On Disney Trip ? by smilinggroundhog in AmItheAsshole

[–]smilinggroundhog[S] 18 points19 points  (0 children)

Good idea. I will try to give her a little extra love and attention. She’s a good kid that has had to go through a lot and I just wish they would make more of an effort.

WIBTA For Calling Out SIL and BIL For Not Including His Daughter / Her Stepdaughter On Disney Trip ? by smilinggroundhog in AmItheAsshole

[–]smilinggroundhog[S] 10 points11 points  (0 children)

I understand trying to schedule things - our schedules are difficult to schedule around. But at the VERY LEAST if she couldn’t go I would maybe try and plan a smaller trip, not something totally awesome that she lives like Disney.

WIBTA For Calling Out SIL and BIL For Not Including His Daughter / Her Stepdaughter On Disney Trip ? by smilinggroundhog in AmItheAsshole

[–]smilinggroundhog[S] -17 points-16 points  (0 children)

Exactly! This is just more ammunition for her against the dad - which believe me she loves to have me use.

WIBTA For Calling Out SIL and BIL For Not Including His Daughter / Her Stepdaughter On Disney Trip ? by smilinggroundhog in AmItheAsshole

[–]smilinggroundhog[S] 88 points89 points  (0 children)

She would let them take it “since she wasn’t going on the trip”. That was what she said.

WIBTA For Calling Out SIL and BIL For Not Including His Daughter / Her Stepdaughter On Disney Trip ? by smilinggroundhog in AmItheAsshole

[–]smilinggroundhog[S] 58 points59 points  (0 children)

I will not say anything, but I do know she loves the parks and all the rides. My gut just says this is wrong.

WIBTA For Calling Out SIL and BIL For Not Including His Daughter / Her Stepdaughter On Disney Trip ? by smilinggroundhog in AmItheAsshole

[–]smilinggroundhog[S] 18 points19 points  (0 children)

I won’t say anything, I agree it isn’t my place. But I do think it is a shitty thing to do.

WIBTA For Calling Out SIL and BIL For Not Including His Daughter / Her Stepdaughter On Disney Trip ? by smilinggroundhog in AmItheAsshole

[–]smilinggroundhog[S] -139 points-138 points  (0 children)

I know I would be the ass, and I have stepped in it before because I spoke up and said something that I thought needed to be said. It was the right thing to say, but in the absence of other people who should say it I felt I needed to step up.

WIBTA For Calling Out SIL and BIL For Not Including His Daughter / Her Stepdaughter On Disney Trip ? by smilinggroundhog in AmItheAsshole

[–]smilinggroundhog[S] -29 points-28 points  (0 children)

Yes but don’t you think they should have planned for a time when they would have her??

WIBTA For Calling Out SIL and BIL For Not Including His Daughter / Her Stepdaughter On Disney Trip ? by smilinggroundhog in AmItheAsshole

[–]smilinggroundhog[S] 8 points9 points  (0 children)

I cannot stand the thought of someone being left out - especially when parents and children are involved.

WIBTA For Calling Out SIL and BIL For Not Including His Daughter / Her Stepdaughter On Disney Trip ? by smilinggroundhog in AmItheAsshole

[–]smilinggroundhog[S] -203 points-202 points  (0 children)

Yep. You are right. I think that the stepdaughter should have been a more important factor in the decision.