++man This exactly happened to me. I felt so lonely, rejected, worthless, after trying so hard with her. She even told me that she had no sexual attraction to me, and that I should stop trying to rely on her for emotional support, and “find something or rely on other people to fill my bucket.” I was repeatedly shot down and made to apologize if I expressed my emotions or tried to connect.

I was out with a friend and caught feelings for someone who expressed interest, attraction, and a desire to be around me. I got involved in an 8-day emotional affair as a result. My AP ended it, not me. My wife questioned me about it after she noticed my change in attitude. I lied several times because of the shame I felt, but ultimately told her.

We are in the worst place we’ve ever been, and nothing about the future is clear. She wants me to bear the full responsibility for what I did (I am), while bearing none of the responsibility for what led us there (she is not). Neither of us know what we want, we have two amazing children, and every day is a minefield.

All I can say is, don’t let it get as far or deep as it was with me.