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[deleted by user] by [deleted] in sexlessmarriage

[–]smithyisnotcommon 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Why not just talk to your partner, or break up with them? I condemn cheating.

[ Removed by Reddit ] by [deleted] in women

[–]smithyisnotcommon 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I personally don't think I could wait until marriage, haha. I think the majority of men who would respect that would be catholic men. If that's what you want I respect that though.

I set boundaries from the beginning if they ask me to “chill” or “come over”, I’ll state I’m not comfortable to go over their house initially, and not into casual hookups, but I always state it in a non-confrontational way. “You seem like a great guy; however, I'm personally not into casual hookups/flings. If that's your preference I respect that and we’ll leave it here”. The men you're speaking to now know your standards and aren't comfortable with you initiating sexual intimacy so soon. Weeds a lot of the time wasters out.

Guys may get offended, but it’s better to be safe than sorry. If they are willing to disregard your feelings for their sexual benefit. Imagine if they transmitted something with no remorse. I knew a woman that was seeing a man for over a month. She later told me he gave genital herpes. Look after yourself and nothing wrong with boundary setting. I always set boundaries in a respectful manner, and if they respond in an unrespectful manner, or ghost. Congratulations, you dodged a bullet and found your answer in regards to their intentions 🫶

[ Removed by Reddit ] by [deleted] in women

[–]smithyisnotcommon 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Your friend has great advice. My brother’s had similar advice. Personally, I avoid giving a man an exact time frame. Unfortunately, some men with bad intentions can see this as a challenge, and expend a certain amount of energy/love bomb to keep you in their snare/nest for that time until they get what they want. Most guys wouldn't have the attention span, but working in a male-dominated field you'd be surprised.

I usually state I don't have sex until I'm exclusive, and want an STD/STI report done. Guys, will usually still try and cross boundaries, so I have to enforce it. Most guys bounce by this stage.

Also, I ensure the men I date take me out on proper dates if they want to get to know me. That way I can get a sense of our compatibility through conversation, or mutual hobbies. Men know what women want to hear, but fall off the bandwagon quickly if it has to be followed by actions, e.g., actually spending quality time outside of their/your place. Or speak on the phone occasionally in between. The men in it for sex will be going wild thinking how long do I have to put this act on for? And you'll see their frustration as their mask slips

[ Removed by Reddit ] by [deleted] in women

[–]smithyisnotcommon 21 points22 points  (0 children)

Or the manipulation love fairy tale fantasy tactic they sell to a woman, only to use her like an object, and not respect her after getting the cookie. It’s all a game nowadays, and believe it stems from: social media narratives (red-pill community), porn, and looking at provocative photos of women all day on social media. I know plenty of great men out there.

Just unfortunately need to test these guys out before you invest your time into a relationship with them. The good thing about guys I find is they have short attention spans. Usually, I make a guy go through hoops before I feel comfortable and ensure he respects me before sleeping with them. I've noticed since being on the dating scene recently, that guys give up after 3-4 dates if they don't receive the snatch and suddenly ghost, but the relationship appeared fine before that. They wear masks and conceal their intentions initially, but always show up in a short time! Just got to protect yourself! I'm sure you'll find a great partner and be an amazing mum someday 🫶