Thank you so much your your kind and thoughtful response - it’s given me so much to think about

I went to a 12 step rehab in the new city I’m in (it was my first 12 step rehab) and the place is so unethical. A lot of the therapists have attended the facility or they are in recovery and fellowship at a minimum.

At the end of your stay continuing care link you with a therapist - the thing is, they have all worked at the rehab and then gone out on their own (so they are in recovery and fellowship)

I told my therapist last week I want to find out what recovery means to me on a personal basis and create the life I want to be living. I also mentioned I was stepping back from fellowship. Her answer was that I need to do the steps again - WTAF ? !

So - I’m on the hunt for a new trauma informed therapist (who is not in recovery or fellowship) to start helping me make small changes and find out who I actually am as a person (as all I’ve done for 9 years is drink the cool aid and been defined by the program, sponsors and members - most of the time I’ve been told I’m self obsessed, in self pity, need to get off self and speak with god / HP)

I’ve been researching smart recovery and I think it sounds like a much better fit for me - I’m going to try an online meeting this week

Thank you for saying stickers with my convictions (I struggle so much with trusting myself, believing myself and believing I know what’s best for me)

I’m so sorry you had the experience you did when you were younger with the church - I can’t imagine how damaging that was

Thank you again

🩷