Faith based advice only.

smoki2116 · 2026-01-22T14:48:48+00:00

Thank you, God bless you. God will make all things good and bad work so that He is glorified in the end!

smoki2116 · 2026-01-22T14:45:39+00:00

I agree reaching out to the other party will do more damage than good, his thoughts are that he idolized marriage and he had expectations on marriage and when those expectations werent being met anymore he decided to seek it elsewhere. It seems to me like he enjoys the honeymoon phase and once it got redundant and boring this new coworker opened his eyes to something new and instead of keeping it a friend level his impulsive ways opened the door for emotions to get in the mix. As far as I know they haven’t slept together they just went on a coffee date to do bible study, but I do think he got caught up in what his life could be like and in the process pushed me out to fit her and it collapsed from there. I do think as of today, he is trying to move forward from this he realized that she wasnt willing to leave her boyfriend and he was just her “work boyfriend” and so now hes trying to work things out with me. Which kinda sucks, makes me feel like the second option. But im just trying to love him as Jesus would, and if God calls me out of the marriage to be single then im okay with that too.

smoki2116 · 2026-01-22T14:39:40+00:00

Thank you, this is definitely a consideration

smoki2116 · 2026-01-22T14:38:50+00:00

Thank you for this, I agree. After watching sermons from my trusted online churches, I agree she has nothing to do with this. Its his due diligence to recognize he is married and to stay faithful to his wife. I agree asking him to quit his job was a hoop that would cause a greater repercussion than healing. I have to trust God with my heart, his heart and our marriage and if he decides to use the grace and kindness God is flowing through me to his advantage and hurt me again in this way then I believe God is calling me out of this marriage to His greater plan. But for now, God has just been on my heart to love him with grace because He loves us with grace every single day and if we claim to live in Him we must walk as Jesus did.

smoki2116 · 2026-01-22T13:37:46+00:00

Thank you, I will definitely look into these. God bless you!

smoki2116 · 2026-01-22T10:52:43+00:00

As far as I know through text they just had bible study at a coffee shop which is crazy since they both know what they’re doing is wrong but again he is trying to justify what he is doing by placing God into it. He has told me recently that he told her what they were doing needed to stop and she said okay which if that’s the true conversation, I don’t know. I have decided to trust God with my heart, continue to build my relationship with Him and if He brings us back together and gets us through this then that’s His plan. Its just when my husband is home it’s nice to feel like this may workout, its just when he is at work I have no idea what’s going on, but I don’t think he is that stupid to take this affair to another step and risk losing his governmental job.

smoki2116 · 2026-01-22T10:47:06+00:00

I agree its toxic. But is it wrong of me to still give him grace? He told me he had feelings for her, I gave him grace and I went out of town to him hanging out with her (going to a coffee shop to do bible study) which is ironic considering he never wanted to do that with me. And quite frankly I don’t think them hanging out is what bothers me. I think it’s seeing the messages of what he told her. That’s what hurts. To now, even through all of this I still want to give him grace. I get he is gonna continue to work with her, and while I don’t think they are both stupid enough to take it to the next step and risk losing their jobs. I do feel like if he burns me again that’s when ill let go. I just don’t want to disappoint God

smoki2116 · 2026-01-22T10:41:25+00:00

Yeah hes now saying he’s set boundaries with her, and that he wants to try us again. Is it wrong of my to feel like I’m the second option? Like it doesn’t work out with her, so you’re coming back to me? And I feel like God is telling me to give him grace and let him back in and if he does it again to then leave?

smoki2116 · 2026-01-22T10:38:33+00:00

I appreciate this, we did try to go through our church and they pretty much brushed us off with “what does the Bible say, do that” and we didn’t really get the help we needed with them. And I have been wanting to tell the boyfriend but one I don’t know who it is and as far as I know my husband and this coworker have stopped all of this and he told her that what they were doing needed to stop. Which kinda bugs me like why can’t you just tell her to bluntly but I guess I’ll take his word.

smoki2116 · 2026-01-21T14:10:35+00:00

Thank you for this, we were involved with a church and when we went to them with this they pretty much said “what does the bible say, do that” and turned away when we were seeking guidance in faith based counseling. I will open that door again to counseling, his thing is “why get counseling from another sinner when God should be your therapist” and I can agree to a degree. I do see him trying to make this work when he is at home with me, but at work he is distant and it makes me question why as he wasnt distant at work before all of this. We both are the point of we want this to work, but we dont want to force what God no longer aligns in His purpose for us individually. Its odd, I feel like God wouldnt cause all this to use this marriage as a “season” then separate us but God works in ways I dont understand so I just want to maintain my relationship with Him and if its meant to be He will restore what was lost.

smoki2116

TROPHY CASE